I've met a guy online: we didn't have expectations when we started to talk but we both felt a lot of chemistry since the first messages. I chat with a lot of people daily but I rarely have such a connection (he's an INTJ - cold and charming, and I'm the overfeeler artists - the INFP). Me and this guy used to chat everyday, and he started to open in phrases like "I missed you, you're so different and interesting". He's cold about expressing himself in a deeper way, but I still try to tease him mentally and sometimes show my sensitive soul trying to feel him better. But I've understood his style, so I'm always mentally challenging/creative while i try to grasp him. I feel he truly appreciates me like a person because he - even if in his cold and smirky way - often shows me attraction signs like long/mentally intense text conversations. Once I was feeling very very bad, and crying, while he said: nodoby who has feelings for you can ever forget you, you're too unique and special. I know he's sexually and mentally attracted to me, but I'd like to get into his emotional sphere as well 🥺 I started to be more independent lately, and things were going well because I don't give him pressure. Yesterday I said to him, while conversation started to become interesting: I have to go. He: Why do you think I'll leave you go? Me: I have to write now 😉 We'll text tomorrow. So... I felt that he wanted me to stay, I can assure that it was a very exciting conversation. Everytime I text with him I feel a lot of sexual tension and feelings. I don't even know if we could develop something more, even because he's pretty far, but I want to feel it as much intensely as possible. I'm an high sensitive person who loves emotions and passion. So, the problem, is that he is too unavailable and rational, and today, for the first time, he became suddenly cold in texts from one message to another. I really think he's a bit of a strategist because he's overly confident about himself. Advices?
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Give it time. If it is love, he will open up to your persistence. Be patient12
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Oh no. Stay away from him. Emotionally unavailable people do NOT do that. He is just wanting to get a hookup from you and sounds controlling. As an INFJ, I warn you now as an INFP. DO NOT allow your hopeless romantic ideals to blind you. Fi users as you are not cold. You above anyone as a Fi dominant should know this. It is not that he is attracted to you. He is reading your weaknesses as a Ni dominant and he's using your emotions against you for sex because what you have is lust. That's all your doing. You're just feeding his toxicity. It has 0 to do with him being an INTJ or MBTI. That is just who he is to reel you in when he is ready and see he got you to hook when you least expect it so when he's ready to pounce, next thing you know your in bed with him with 0 commitment. He is not a crush. He is a temptation. Sexual temptation, he sounds like a player, and dangerous. You in it because you wanted to. It is now up to you to get yourself out of it. I can be emotionally unavailable. I know I wouldn't dare do this. Again, he is not mentally attracted to you. Don't tease, don't show him anything. It's a TRAP. To him, you're like mice and are prey.
" nodoby who has feelings for you can ever forget you, you're too unique and special. " Is this the best heartstrings he can pull off? This is an amateur move. Classic manipulator tactic. Girl, listen. I am HSP also and an empath. As much as your not going to like this, I got sad news for you, and forgive how I got to put it
... ... ... This guy is full of sh*t.
End it TODAY! Tell him NEXT.
Thanks, so accurate. I've mixed feelings because he seemed sincere, but the fact he acts differently according to "i don't know what" makes me feel frustrated. I don't trust him so much since a couple of days. Maybe I'm too frail and idealistic, and waaaay a lot sensitive to romantic feelings. I live in my own world and that's both charming but also a social problem. He's - obviously - very intuitive (Ni of course) and understand myself a lot. He doesn't feel me I think, but he understands my behavior like a strategist. This hot and cold situation makes me feel unworthy and vulnerable.
It's an ACT. That is what players and f-boys do. Nobody can give you mixed feelings because these are either your feelings or you absorbing what shouldn't be. He is feeding you that to get you feeling unworthy and vulnerable because either he feels unworthy of people which can be his motivation to use people, but he has no plans to be vulnerable. And any "vulnerability" will be just an act. By him being NI dominant as well, we can put it off and you will never know it.
It is not that you are too frail and idealistic. You're naive. And people always assume naive means ignorance and innocence. Let me tell you something like somebody who is idealistic is sensitive and is also similar to you about romance also. This is why I never dated also because those feelings are precious and that is why I trust God with his desires for myself as well as follow his rules. how you feel, what you desire, and how sensitive you are is NOT THE PROBLEM. That is just YOU. And that is OKAY. That is how God allowed and made you. HOWEVER, What you choose to do with it without maturity and being mentally and emotionally mature can affect how you live your life.
Innocence means being be guileless. You hold no fault to anything.
Ignorance is not knowing anything. But there is such thing as willful ignorance also.
Naiveness is assuming things that are obvious.
Innocence does NOT MEAN Ignorance or Naiveness. To be innocent is both a choice and a state of being. To be naive or ignorant is a choice.
He doesn't understand you at all because he doesn't really know you. Only by what you tell him. All he is doing to reading you and what you can do so he can get into your head. Again, emotionally unavaliable people do NOT do this. They don't seek relationships, and if they do, they don't because they don't want to hurt you and to hurt themselves mostly. So this guy is engaging with all of that flirting, which is bad, please don't do that anymore, teasing, etc, he is engaging your emotions, yet he's available. WHY? To get something out of you and leave you dry so he can do the same to the next girl. It's about power, he is not interested in loving or getting to invest in you. He wants attention to feel powerful.