Guys, First date... everything but sex... why?

[cArvEr1313]

I went on a first date with a great guy... we have very good chemistry. We went back to my place and did almost everything in the book except have actual sex. Im very confused...
He expressed verbally and physically that he was very turned on... lots of passion while doing all those other things... but no D to V. We have confirmed we would both like to see each other again very much... which im happy about. Just confused... so close to home plate but didn't take the slide... why?

[BCA6010]

A lot of people in general (self included) will actively avoid having sex on the first few dates. Everyone has their reasons, generally revolving around the idea of not getting too invested too quickly with someone we just met. For a lot of people (I'm hesitant to say "most"), they don't want to have sex with someone until they're ready for some form of committed relationship with the belief it will last indefinitely. It's not a bad thing that he didn't want to go that far, and the fact he wants to go out again means he sees potential. Everyone has their boundaries, and being able to mutually respect that fact is very important.

[Anonymous]

He wanted to keep you some of the mystery for next time, he knows you both want it but is probably saving it for delayed gratification or something of that sort, he wanted you you to think wow if sex is so amazing without the actual intercource how fantastic it will be when we go all the way, and maybe he just wanted you to actually ask for it so that he knows for sure you're completely ready for it and actually need it, so it was just a gentle man's move.
I do have a couple of questions tho, how many times did he cum? And more importantly how many times did you cum? Also did he last long enough for your liking? Was the sex sensual or rough with ratings out of 10?
I'm asking all this because you're reminding me of an exact similar situation.

[ZackBan]

Maybe he didn't expect it to go as well as it did and didn't shave or thoroughly clean himself down there. It happnes more often than you think.

That's why I make it a point to keep myself groomed everytime I go meet anyone or in a place that might include women. That way if I'm taken by surprise for some sex I'd be ready.

But don't sweat it if you truly had such good chemistry he'll come meet you again later I'm sure he's dying to sleep with you

[zagor]

Maybe he felt weird about it on a first date. Maybe he misread your signals and didn't want to push it (literally, I guess).

Or, and this is something I can relate to as I sometimes have had the problem, maybe dinner wasn't sitting well and he didn't feel like having sex due to physical discomfort. A bellyache is not conducive to gettin' it on.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Because having sex on the first date is a HORRIBLE idea.
It takes like 3 years to get to know a person well enough to where you wouldn't need to fear unplanned pregnancy resulting in single parenthood or having to deal with an ex while finding a good match (and afterwards).
I don't need that kind of complicated family dynamic dating pool shrinkage hell.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also I dunno how anyone can tell if they have good chemistry via a single date.. honestly seems impossible to me.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

OH BOY, NACHOS BILL GRANDE. But seriously, there’s a chance you’ve found yourself a VERY VERY RARE item little fella. You cannae fuck this up, because at last... there is hope after all. *jumps off a cliff*

[superrmatt]

I only walk her to her car and kiss her on the first date. She gotta work to earn my nakedness.

[Wise4myage]

Maybe that's his way of taking things slow, but yeah, I agree with you. But if the same thing happens again, then take charge and make D to V happen, lol.

[slatyb]

Ask him? We’re condoms available? Being unprepared would be a good reason to wait.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Maybe he misread the signals, and refrained out of respect for you. The only way to really know though is by having a second date with him and giving him no doubts as to what you want.

[bowenw]

There are no rules. If you're into each other it will happen. He could have been nervous.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Wow! That's deep I'm confused to I makes no sense what so ever. Its so hard to understand why people do what they do. I'm a guy and I'm stumped on that one so I know you as a woman is like wtf

[humanearth]

Maybe he thinking that he really likes you and dont want you to think of him as a one night sex machine.

I dont know, im just guessing, but it might be true

[kkirk4442]

Only he knows. It may be that he doesn't dip in until he's more sure of the relationship.

[Avicenna]

Maybe he wasn’t sure you consented

[cArvEr1313]

He was inches away... the only way i could've consented more was for me to have a tattoo on my forehead lol. It was still totally awesome despite.
Hopefully next time... ill maybe verbalize that i would like it to go all the way... just put it out there i guess lol

[Feelicks]

Maybe he got his dick caught in a fan due to unclear instructions and now needs some recovery time.

[Twalli]

Too soon for him. I was ready for sex and wanted it, but I also wanted a strong relationship foundation first. So we waited.

[Tunasub]

Maybe he is just a nice guy that way and didn't want things to start on that note..

[whatsthereinname]

Who refrained from it

U him or both

[cArvEr1313]

I guess we both did... he had the opportunity to plenty of times... as did I, I suppose. I guess i was waiting for him to take it "there".
However... he was very verbally clear about what his kinks were... I dont see why he would've have any hesitation expressing further wants. Maybe we were both waiting for the green... but... it was very green lol... like neon. As mentioned in previous reply to another reply... he was inches away. 🤷

[whatsthereinname]

May be whatever he told you about his desires, he expected advances from you

Feared that since you've not responded to his desires, you might not like it

That said, never mind

Better luck next time

[Iron_Man]

Did you really want to have sex on the first date? . You know the story behind that and how people are frowned upon for doing that especially the women

[cArvEr1313]

Yes I know the "story"... And its not as taboo as it once was. Two mature adults... with mental and physical chemistry... doing everything in "the book" ... EXCEPT
I apologize if my question was misleading but Im not asking for guys opinions about whether it was okay to have sex on the first date... Im asking why he wouldn't have

[Iron_Man]

And who says it’s not bad as it once was? Do you follow other peoples lead or do you follow your own lead in life and know what’s right and wrong

[cArvEr1313]

I follow my own lead... i know what i felt was right. You are the one saying "you know the story..." as if i should follow some antiquated tradition. If you cannot contribute anything else besides sexist bashing... pls stop replying. Have a good day sir.

[Iron_Man]

I’m not bashing you I’m trying to help you be a good girl and have good moral values not to give it up that fast on the first date and you should be married first you have a nice day

[Anonymous]

Not everyone is comfortable fking someone they just met

[Jamie05rhs]

He's probably Catholic or something like that.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

why you're going on dates during a virus, i do not know

if i can't go to work, you shouldn't be going on dates

[cArvEr1313]

Find another job! Thats what i did when the pandemic hit and everything was closed. My life didn't stop!
Why are you a member of this particular site if you're not going to contribute and help answer females questions?

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

I am working!

I just work from home, WHILE ITS GOING ON

If you don't like my answers, don't be on here

[In_Trance]

So why didn't you make a move?

[RickVienna]

Perhaps he was shy and has a small dick