We have been seeing each other for a year, we’re not official and both afraid of commitment. What do I mean to him?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this guy for over a year. When we met we clicked very well, he was laid back and not very clingy which I appreciate since that will drive me away. We act like a couple and he tells me that he likes me, we had sex for the first time about a month ago so I don’t think he’s using me for that. We’re always at his place since I’ve never invited him to mine. We have not met each other’s friends or family. However I’ve talked to his friends on the phone. We know a lot about each other and care about each other a lot. I’m terrified to lose him or hurt him which I why I’m not doing anything about the situation. I enjoy his company and I’m not uncomfortable with the “relationship” we have but my friends thinks it’s weird. He gets jealous when I talk about my guy friends or when I tell him I’ve been home alone over the weekend. I think he thought I had a hickey that wasn’t from him (I burned my neck on accident) and his mood completely changed and he acted super cold and distant. I realized after I left his place so I haven’t asked him about it. I really care for him but I’m not sure he knows that. I’m still afraid that he’s using me. I only want him and we connect really deep but we barley talk when we don’t see each other. I don’t know what to do.

Updates

+1 y

Just want to clarify, I will talk to him. I just want some general opinions from people that have been in similar situations.

[Aassem]

Okay you if you really like him then act like it, don't hold back so much I think you're both past that stage of acting as if you're not in deep, when you start showing more of your deep feelings he will too, he will trust you and he wouldn't be holding back as much.

I used to love this girl and never told her how I felt, she had a boyfriend at the time and I was the ex and I wanted to win her back, she told me we should just be friends and I said okay I'd prefer that when I was actually hurt inside, but I didn't show it, I didn't wanna show my feelings at all thought she would come around on her own which never happened until I had enough of hurt bottled inside me and I confessed my feelings, at first she was so flattered and happy cuz she didn't expect that to come from me, and told me she loves me too but loves her boyfriend more, so I was broken and I decided to move on, and then she came around and left him for me when she saw that she was losing me.

I believe you're at this point of love too, you both don't wanna lose each other and that would make you tolerate anything that comes your way, sometimes we don't realize how much we love someone until we are on the verge of losing them, so don't be afraid to express your true self even if that's gonna risk the relationship cus that would be ultimately best.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for sharing, I will definitely talk to him. I hope you’re doing better now!

[Aassem]

Thank you
And I hope you neck so alright

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

why you're dating someone during a virus, i don't know

if i can't go to work, why are you able to see someone?

[Asker]

Where I live the restrictions are not very limiting. I still go to school and work, and you can out etc but in smaller groups. Every place is different.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Yikes

[midnightmoon05]

What do you want? A real relationship or play games.
right now, you are both playing games. In games, one win and one lose. in a real loving / caring relationship... both try their best to help each other win.

[Avicenna]

Only he knows- that is something you have to discuss with him.

[In_Trance]

Ask him for the real answer