I’ve liked this girl for over 2 years, we just started seeing each other and I found out she does meth, how can I help her?

[Anonymous]

She used to bartend at a bar I frequented. I fell in love with her right away and I can even see myself married to her in the future. I do believe she’s the love of my life and we’re meant to be together and she’s a great person! She’s a amazing artist, compassionate and caring, but she does meth. She said she wants to quit and she’s just using it to cope with some things that happened to her that are too personal to mention online. I can see it’s already messing with her life, she’s lost friends and her kids were taken away. I want to help her and I don’t know how or what to do.

[caring__1]

If you attempt something you're not qualified to do, you may make things worse. See if she's willing to get professional help.

When a person wants to let go of a habit, it's important to replace it rather than eliminate it. Everything we do, we do for a reason. Find out what needs are being met by the behavior and then explore alternatives that would work as well, if not better.

Another aspect of addiction that makes it hard to stop is we associate the addiction with our normal life. To break the habit, we want to break the association with our normal life. For instance, if she uses it as part of her normal life, she wants to break the association and use it only for the fix and not for social reasons or when connected with other aspects of her normal life.

It is hard work to break an addiction. Be unconditionally supportive, yet be realistic, also. She won't quit till she is ready, no matter what you say or do.

[Anonymous]

Help her to believe in herself.

She needs to work on self love etc so that she believes she is worth the effort and that she has the power to make choices.

But you can't do it for her, only she can choose to stop or not, it is a choice she is making every time.

I guess dont let her bullshit herself?

But you have to be prepared to face backlash by putting yourself between her and her addiction, you have to not take it personally when she chooses to wreck herself over having a healthy life with you.

Addiction to anything can be hard to break but it can be done and the essense of it is as simple as choosing not to do that anymore.

You do or you do not, there is no try.

[In_Trance]

lol, unless you're a therapist certified in drug addiction, there's nothing you can do

[roy_ricky09]

Did she ask for help?