I mean you already know I'm married and not into guys, BUT I did approach my wife and if the situation was me liking guys I would absolutely approach them and ask them out. I am the kind of girl who doesn't wait to give out birthday and Christmas gifts. I'll give them months and in advance. Why make someone wait on happiness when you can have it now.
Same thing applies for me when dating. Why should I wait for a man to make move just because it is expected? If I think he is someone I want to go out on a date with, you better bet my butt will be asking him that day.
Hell yes 🙌
The following article (and a related study) explores “after decades of increasing sexual equality, why are women not assuming equal "risky [romantic ‘relationship-starting’] initiatives" responsibilities?…
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-how-and-why-sex-differences/201104/why-dont-women-ask-men-out-first-dates
…and proposes that “females actively attempt to impress potential long-term mating partners by offering evidence that they would be a sexually faithful partner; [and by] refraining from making first time relationship initiatives, women may be providing evidence to potential long term mates that they would not make the first move with another man in the future, given their history of not doing so in the past.”
Thanks for the MHO
Fascinating! However, those women are completely wrong!! It is OKAY to flirt with guys when you're SINGLE. Just not when you're MARRIED/TAKEN.
(I don't know how many times I have to say this!)
Also, a guy flirting with multiple girls when he's single does NOT make him a bad person! He's SINGLE! He's not attached!
@Jamie05rhs
The article I provided above (and the study mentioned in the article) isn’t about flirting, but rather about (women not) asking someone out on a first date.
The article states that “The reasons for [why women don’t ask men out on first dates] may be largely beyond our awareness because they involve evolved psychological adaptations that operate below consciousness…From an evolutionary perspective, males and females have faced different reproductive opportunities and constraints [and these] differences have led to the evolution of [gender-specific] psychological adaptations related to a variety of behaviors, including courtship.” And the article suggests that the unconscious/evolutionary reason women don’t ask men out is because they want men to know that they are, and will remain, faithful..
I'm aware. I'm just saying, that's not something they need to worry about.
@Jamie05rhs Ok gotcha, but it’s hard to fight unconscious evolutionary psychological adaptations.
My personal slant on this is
a guy will approach a girl to either get in her pants or to date.
whereas a girl will approach or make it clear for the guy to approach, so that she can find out about him, see if she can trust him and he is not all Rapey.
Interesting. Very interesting indeed. Because I will admit that I generally will NOT approach a woman to find out about her. I prefer to do background research. I don't want to approach her if I am unsure, because then she could get excited and then let down. And I don't feel like that's fair to her.
@Jamie05rhs
Seriously 😂😂😂😂
because then she could get excited and then let down
Did you get the Gods Gift to women T shirt and Medallion?
How on Earth do you do background research on a girl in a pub or restaurant
@ChisMaster69 Haha. I don't know what that means.
Lol you don't. Which is why I don't go to bars to pick up girls. a
I have approached. Relationships are partnerships. Can't have them without both contributing.
But for most other girls, it's A/B/C. They're absolutely terrified of rejection. So they justify it by putting the onus back on the guys. "Be a man", "Man up." Uh huh.
Opinion
4Opinion
There hasn't been anyone I've wanted to date so noone to approach🤷😂
But if there was you totally would approach?
Yeah, why not? Letting sometime know you like them isn't just a guy thing... It should work both ways
Agreed!
*someone
I think the main reason is that they either get approached by guys and don’t need to approach anyone or they think it’s solely the guy’s job to approach
Because I am not interested in dating anyone.
I have approached guys before, but most of the time it's not needed? Like I start up chatting with someone and you can tell if they're interested or not and if they are, they will ask you out anyway. The first chat is enough approach most of the time.
I also had some bad experiences when I rejected a guy and he was like 'YOU DIDN'T THINK I LIKED YOU THAT WAY DID YOU? I JUST MEANT AS FRIENDS HAHAHAHAHA' and that shite really makes you less confident in your abilities to notice if someone likes you or not.
Now I got older I just accepted it as a self-defense mechanism some guys use to handle rejection, but when I was younger you're just too afraid of a reaction like that and guys claiming you're a self-absorbed bitch. I don't know it might sound stupid, but it might give you some perspective.
That guy was a DOUCHE!!
I voted different reason because it's a mix of I don't want to come off as desperate and also I'm a bit shy. Like I don't mind dropping hints that I'm interested but I feel like he likes me he will do something about it. I don't want to show that I like him first.
How often do you get approached?
Now just imagine for a second if they didn’t approach, do you think youd approach them yourself or would you just accept being single?
Its so nice to think if they dont approach they aren't interested. :p
In my experience though that wasn't my reason I didn’t approach a girl it was because of my crippling social anxiety and fear of rejection. Yet we guys are supposed to just get over that. :p
They've literally said to me in casual conversation, "When a person says they like me, I'm like 'what's there to like?' I don't think I'm good dating material. I don't know... I get suspicious if they like me."
So now I'm afraid they won't accept all of the reasons they're wonderful.
Well guys get shit like that all the time but we are still expected to just shake it off and “man up”
Frankly if you werent a woman people would say/expect that to you too
I bully myself too sometimes, like, "You should be able to tell them how you feel!" But I think it's stupid that society places the expectation to ask someone out on the 'man'. You aren't any less of a man if you have trouble communicating these feelings, or are nervous, in my opinion.
I also have a huge fear of rejection due to childhood emotional neglect. So... Yeah... Love being in love with my friend and anxious but comfortable around them whenever lol
Honestly, I feel anxious when it comes about relationships. I know that if I start dating I'll get a boyfriend again. But, I am just bit scared and have little trust issues. I know that shouldn't be the reason I should stop dating. But, I have to work on myself right now.
But im sure you have guys approaching you no problem right?
Yeah there are people
Lol ok so you dint really need to approach
See every girl has 4-5 guys around her. So, it's bit rare for girls to approach a girl.
Yeah therefore there's no need to get over the fear of rejection
Exactly 💯
I have approached guys that I am interested in.
Some guys are too intimidated to approach me for whatever reason. And, the guys that aren't intimidated to approach me are often more douchey.
You go girl 😎
I'm a mix, I have both waited to be. Approached out of nervousness but I've also done the approaching, although I'm not a fan of being the one to make the move as I'm generally awkward and impatient on waiting for an answer so usually end up over thinking it and buggering it up before getting an answer.
It used to be because I was shy but then I decided to get the courage to text a guy first and it was the best decision I ever made. I'm still with him to this day.
Awww 🥰
Because I don't jump right in.
I take my time to observe. Then I found out that he wasn't my type so I never approached him no matter how much i was attracted to him.
but if he was your type you'd go for it?
*is your type* ;)
I already did it a while ago, it took me a long time to decide to do it but I did it. I told him directly that I liked him a lot and that I would love for us to get to know each other better to see if in the not too distant future we could be more than friends. After 3 days talking he asked me to be his girlfriend and after 5 days he said that he loved me. Wasn't that too fast?
That's awesome.
I’ve only liked 3 guys ever, and yes, all 3 were players, but I thought they were “nice guys” anyway, I told 2 out of the 3 guys that I liked them and the 3rd dude kinda blocked me because the convo kinda got dry
He was probably dry that’s why
Aww 🥰 thanksss girlll haha. Lol, yeah, kind of 😅
Many women approach me, i am not an asshole but i am taken (married) i do misread the signs sometimes but i keep the converstaion going with telling them that i am married but i have no problem socializing 🤷♂️
I'm married. If I were single, I would tell you that I love to flirt yet I am very shy. I would never want to come across as desperate or make a guy suspicious. I'd rather give him the green light to approach me and let him feel like he won a prize.
I don't approach them because I don't want to date guys from the country where I live (no, it's not the one on my profile). However if I did want to date them I still wouldn't approach because I'm 100% sure that I would be rejected.
I'm still kinda old school and I would like a guy to approach me first. I like a masculine/manly guy. For me, if they approach it shows their masculinity and I really appreciate it even if I will reject them. I have more respect for them when they do.
Why does it make a guy look strong when he approaches? Does it mean that he would be unable to protect you if he doesn't approach?
I’m a more passive personality but occasionally I’ve approached guys
Anyone success in approaching any? :)
Yes 😊
Nice. One of these days ill be successful lol.
Last girl i was with though she approached me. ;)
A lot of guys like that
Yes i feel like it should be more even. Especially since the me too era started. A lot if guys are more reluctant than ever now cause they dint wanna risk being seen as someone just after sex or something
I’ve never had a problem with guys approaching me
Thats good. Just saying i think girls should approach more often. Cuts out a lot of guessing work
You make a good point
I don't know a guy. I need to get to know someone first. Never accept a date from cold.
Not that it applies to me anyway. I am well and truly taken.
To be honest, everytime I fancy a guy and feel confident enough to consider asking I find out he's taken or gay.
Typical lol.
For me its just they’re taken already smh
I would think girls would be scare of rejection cause some guys set their standards too high
It must be nice that the can just be scared and still get approached, therefore no need to get over the fear.
@Still-alive Yep I agree with you
*crippling social anxiety.
* being awkward in social interactions and showing interest.
I have that, too.
Cuz I'm insecure, scared, inexperienced and awkward overall. This doesn't stop at just dating. I'm too scared to approach people that I want to simply befriend too. I have social anxiety.
Men tend to be more rude and harsh with their rejections. Women are also more timid than men
How are guys more rude with rejection? Examples?
Men are usually less polite and more brutal than women. Men are also much more rude to their male friends than women are to their girl friends. Women are usually more sensitive and sweet
Im looking for real life examples here, got any?
I think that anyone with enough life experience will know this is true. Maybe go out and experience life more
Lol nope thats a cop out. Common you talk like this is something that happened to you personally. I guess it hasn't huh?
Just because you offended by it , it doesn’t mean it’s not true. This is common knowledge, just like how women are emotional than men.
Lol im not offended i just think you’re wrong. Looks like others do too
It’s because you lack life experience. This stuff is common knowledge
When watching others in pain, women’s brains show more empathy
newsroom.ucla.edu/.../womens-brains-show-more-empathy
Women really are more empathetic and men more analytical, biggest ever study shows
www.telegraph.co.uk/.../
Explain why nursing ( a profession of compassion) is predominantly female? Social work / therapy is also predominantly female.
Women are just more empathetic and compassionate. Men just don’t have it
None of that answers or proves the question of whether guys reject harsher than women. Feel free to click the question i asked and see why you’re weong
Just because you choose to be ignorant about it , it doesn’t mean it’s not true
Men reject harsher. I know this because I have been rejected by guys. And I have seen it compared to the way girls do it.
Compassion comes more easily to women than men. Men tend to also be more blunt than women
Anecdotes mean shit you know that right? For all i know you just made that up
There’s already proof that women are the more compassionate gender.
Still doesn't mean guys reject women harsher.
Here’s an interesting stat from the Pew Research Center: more than half of smart speaker owners in the US (54 percent) report saying “please” at least occasionally to their AI assistants, with one-in-five (19 percent) saying please frequently. Curiously, the question of AI politeness also breaks down along gender lines, with 62 percent of women reporting that they say “please” at least sometimes, versus 45 percent for men.
www.google.com/.../ai-politeness-smart-speaker-alexa-siri-please-thank-you-pew-gender-sur
Sociolinguistic research suggests that women are more likely than men to use politeness strategies in their speech
www.sciencedirect.com/.../S0378216602001005
There is absolutely no proof that women are ruder than men.
None of this has to do with the question lol. Until you provide data that men reject harsher then women i will not take you seriously.
So yeah you lose. Good dat
There is no real data that shows women reject men harder than vice versa either. A GAG link or question forum is not proof either
Multiple sources have proven women are the more polite and compassionate gender. It wouldn’t make any sense for them to reject more harshly
Lol ok then you’re wrong. Tah tah now
Men are more barbaric and the crueler sex. Its a good thing that women never approach men. Just look at how men start wars and curse at each other. Women never do that kinda stuff.
F. If I want him. I'll go for it before someone else does.
I have no problem approaching someone I am interested in.
thinking back, a lot of relationship and dates I’ve gone on sprang from either working together, or asking someone to spot me at the gym.
My partner now, I met him through a mutual friend.
Also if I found a guy interesting, I’d definitely ask him out.
I’m scared of rejection but I realized life’s short so I finally did it and turns out the dude liked me too for Awhile and we’ve never talked, now we’re in a healthy relationship. Honestly I encourage it.
Because he’s probably too good for me lol
Not that I want to date, but if I did- this would be the reason why lol
Ahh you’re perfect.
But i would think you being a muslim might be a barrier for you? Unless the guys a muslim too of course
@SpiderManFan2002 no body is to good for you!!
I disagree with both of you lol
And yes if he was non-Muslim that would be an issue but oh well lol
It would require there to be someone first...
But if there was youd approach no problem?
Depends... I developed feelings for someone who couldn't love me back... I didn't really want him to find out because I knew it wouldn't be good and I was right... it's kinda complicated... it depends on who it is I guess and their situation and relationship status?
My reason is because I'm now married 😘 xoxo lol.
Cute *accepts your kiss*
But if you weren’t married and single still would you approach?
I don't actually want to date. 😬
I respect it. Im not into dating right now either. Now sex on the other hand heh 😏
Because they’re always taken lol
Lol this is my luck as well usually
I've never met someone that I wanted to date lol
But if you did you would date?
It’s personally not worked out well for me so I’m nervous to do it.
I just don't have the confidence
I'm awkward. Plus I don't wanna date so
I do approach because I know what I want. 😉
ohhh i like that attitude ;)
I don't date
But if you did date you would approach?
You wouldn’t be scared or anything?
I did approach some guys and did get rejected.
Part of me thinks it's in a woman's DNA as well
I don't have to
What if no men approached you anymore. Would you start approaching them?
So youd stay single rather than approach?
It's not traditional
So you still think its a mans job to approach?
So why is it the mans job to approach? Why can't women do it?
Mixture of A and B
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