Girls, the reason you dont approach guys you want to date is because?

[Still-alive]

A lot of women still won't approach men even today. Why won't you?

and if you do approach you rock!

Im scared if rejection

I feel like im come across as desperate

I still think its the mans “job” to approach women even in 2021!

All of the above

Different reason (please say)

I do approach guys i want to date

I want to see results

Updates

+1 y

I highly encourage more women approach. Cut out a lot of the guessing work. You get rejected? Oh well just dust yourself of and keep trying.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I mean you already know I'm married and not into guys, BUT I did approach my wife and if the situation was me liking guys I would absolutely approach them and ask them out. I am the kind of girl who doesn't wait to give out birthday and Christmas gifts. I'll give them months and in advance. Why make someone wait on happiness when you can have it now.

Same thing applies for me when dating. Why should I wait for a man to make move just because it is expected? If I think he is someone I want to go out on a date with, you better bet my butt will be asking him that day.

[Still-alive]

Hell yes 🙌

[Anonymous]

The following article (and a related study) explores “after decades of increasing sexual equality, why are women not assuming equal "risky [romantic ‘relationship-starting’] initiatives" responsibilities?…

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-how-and-why-sex-differences/201104/why-dont-women-ask-men-out-first-dates

…and proposes that “females actively attempt to impress potential long-term mating partners by offering evidence that they would be a sexually faithful partner; [and by] refraining from making first time relationship initiatives, women may be providing evidence to potential long term mates that they would not make the first move with another man in the future, given their history of not doing so in the past.”

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for the MHO

[Jamie05rhs]

Fascinating! However, those women are completely wrong!! It is OKAY to flirt with guys when you're SINGLE. Just not when you're MARRIED/TAKEN.

(I don't know how many times I have to say this!)

Also, a guy flirting with multiple girls when he's single does NOT make him a bad person! He's SINGLE! He's not attached!

[Opinion Owner]

@Jamie05rhs
The article I provided above (and the study mentioned in the article) isn’t about flirting, but rather about (women not) asking someone out on a first date.

The article states that “The reasons for [why women don’t ask men out on first dates] may be largely beyond our awareness because they involve evolved psychological adaptations that operate below consciousness…From an evolutionary perspective, males and females have faced different reproductive opportunities and constraints [and these] differences have led to the evolution of [gender-specific] psychological adaptations related to a variety of behaviors, including courtship.” And the article suggests that the unconscious/evolutionary reason women don’t ask men out is because they want men to know that they are, and will remain, faithful..

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm aware. I'm just saying, that's not something they need to worry about.

[Opinion Owner]

@Jamie05rhs Ok gotcha, but it’s hard to fight unconscious evolutionary psychological adaptations.

[ChrisMaster69]

My personal slant on this is

a guy will approach a girl to either get in her pants or to date.

whereas a girl will approach or make it clear for the guy to approach, so that she can find out about him, see if she can trust him and he is not all Rapey.

[Jamie05rhs]

Interesting. Very interesting indeed. Because I will admit that I generally will NOT approach a woman to find out about her. I prefer to do background research. I don't want to approach her if I am unsure, because then she could get excited and then let down. And I don't feel like that's fair to her.

[ChrisMaster69]

@Jamie05rhs

Seriously 😂😂😂😂

because then she could get excited and then let down

Did you get the Gods Gift to women T shirt and Medallion?

How on Earth do you do background research on a girl in a pub or restaurant

[Jamie05rhs]

@ChisMaster69 Haha. I don't know what that means.

Lol you don't. Which is why I don't go to bars to pick up girls. a

[AmandaYVR]

I have approached. Relationships are partnerships. Can't have them without both contributing.

But for most other girls, it's A/B/C. They're absolutely terrified of rejection. So they justify it by putting the onus back on the guys. "Be a man", "Man up." Uh huh.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

There hasn't been anyone I've wanted to date so noone to approach🤷😂

[Still-alive]

But if there was you totally would approach?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yeah, why not? Letting sometime know you like them isn't just a guy thing... It should work both ways

[Still-alive]

Agreed!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

*someone

[Avicenna]

I think the main reason is that they either get approached by guys and don’t need to approach anyone or they think it’s solely the guy’s job to approach

[Account]

Because I am not interested in dating anyone.

[spuitkaas]

I have approached guys before, but most of the time it's not needed? Like I start up chatting with someone and you can tell if they're interested or not and if they are, they will ask you out anyway. The first chat is enough approach most of the time.
I also had some bad experiences when I rejected a guy and he was like 'YOU DIDN'T THINK I LIKED YOU THAT WAY DID YOU? I JUST MEANT AS FRIENDS HAHAHAHAHA' and that shite really makes you less confident in your abilities to notice if someone likes you or not.
Now I got older I just accepted it as a self-defense mechanism some guys use to handle rejection, but when I was younger you're just too afraid of a reaction like that and guys claiming you're a self-absorbed bitch. I don't know it might sound stupid, but it might give you some perspective.

[Jamie05rhs]

That guy was a DOUCHE!!

[Alyssa11]

I voted different reason because it's a mix of I don't want to come off as desperate and also I'm a bit shy. Like I don't mind dropping hints that I'm interested but I feel like he likes me he will do something about it. I don't want to show that I like him first.

[Still-alive]

How often do you get approached?

[Alyssa11]

In general? Quite often but I feel like that's the norm for most women.

With guys I like - I've been approached by every guy I've ever liked. Either they voluntarily initiated things or I've dropped hints before.

[Still-alive]

Now just imagine for a second if they didn’t approach, do you think youd approach them yourself or would you just accept being single?

[Alyssa11]

Accept being single lol. If they don't approach me then I assume they're not interested or they're taken.

[Still-alive]

Its so nice to think if they dont approach they aren't interested. :p

In my experience though that wasn't my reason I didn’t approach a girl it was because of my crippling social anxiety and fear of rejection. Yet we guys are supposed to just get over that. :p

[Alyssa11]

It's a tough one!

[Cutie0059]

They've literally said to me in casual conversation, "When a person says they like me, I'm like 'what's there to like?' I don't think I'm good dating material. I don't know... I get suspicious if they like me."

So now I'm afraid they won't accept all of the reasons they're wonderful.

[Still-alive]

Well guys get shit like that all the time but we are still expected to just shake it off and “man up”

Frankly if you werent a woman people would say/expect that to you too

[Cutie0059]

I bully myself too sometimes, like, "You should be able to tell them how you feel!" But I think it's stupid that society places the expectation to ask someone out on the 'man'. You aren't any less of a man if you have trouble communicating these feelings, or are nervous, in my opinion.

I also have a huge fear of rejection due to childhood emotional neglect. So... Yeah... Love being in love with my friend and anxious but comfortable around them whenever lol

[Starwitch23]

Honestly, I feel anxious when it comes about relationships. I know that if I start dating I'll get a boyfriend again. But, I am just bit scared and have little trust issues. I know that shouldn't be the reason I should stop dating. But, I have to work on myself right now.

[Still-alive]

But im sure you have guys approaching you no problem right?

[Starwitch23]

Yeah there are people

[Still-alive]

Lol ok so you dint really need to approach

[Starwitch23]

See every girl has 4-5 guys around her. So, it's bit rare for girls to approach a girl.

[Still-alive]

Yeah therefore there's no need to get over the fear of rejection

[Starwitch23]

Exactly 💯

[maceygirl]

I have approached guys that I am interested in.
Some guys are too intimidated to approach me for whatever reason. And, the guys that aren't intimidated to approach me are often more douchey.

[Still-alive]

You go girl 😎

[Wiredone]

They were probably intimidated by you because you are so beautiful. Before I met my wife I always went after the more beautiful women because I love a good challenge.

[Midnight_Kiss]

I'm a mix, I have both waited to be. Approached out of nervousness but I've also done the approaching, although I'm not a fan of being the one to make the move as I'm generally awkward and impatient on waiting for an answer so usually end up over thinking it and buggering it up before getting an answer.

[Dnice1]

It used to be because I was shy but then I decided to get the courage to text a guy first and it was the best decision I ever made. I'm still with him to this day.

[Still-alive]

Awww 🥰

[tatianamay]

I’ve only liked 3 guys ever, and yes, all 3 were players, but I thought they were “nice guys” anyway, I told 2 out of the 3 guys that I liked them and the 3rd dude kinda blocked me because the convo kinda got dry

[Blackcupcake]

He was probably dry that’s why

[tatianamay]

Aww 🥰 thanksss girlll haha. Lol, yeah, kind of 😅

[Azura_88]

Because I don't jump right in.
I take my time to observe. Then I found out that he wasn't my type so I never approached him no matter how much i was attracted to him.

[Still-alive]

but if he was your type you'd go for it?

[Azura_88]

Totally

[Still-alive]

*is your type* ;)

[Azura_88]

Who? WHEREEEE? 😂😂😂

[Anonymous]

I already did it a while ago, it took me a long time to decide to do it but I did it. I told him directly that I liked him a lot and that I would love for us to get to know each other better to see if in the not too distant future we could be more than friends. After 3 days talking he asked me to be his girlfriend and after 5 days he said that he loved me. Wasn't that too fast?

[Jamie05rhs]

That's awesome.

[Jaximus-Lion]

Many women approach me, i am not an asshole but i am taken (married) i do misread the signs sometimes but i keep the converstaion going with telling them that i am married but i have no problem socializing 🤷‍♂️

[45Fstraight]

I'm married. If I were single, I would tell you that I love to flirt yet I am very shy. I would never want to come across as desperate or make a guy suspicious. I'd rather give him the green light to approach me and let him feel like he won a prize.

[menina]

I don't approach them because I don't want to date guys from the country where I live (no, it's not the one on my profile). However if I did want to date them I still wouldn't approach because I'm 100% sure that I would be rejected.

[anona14]

I'm still kinda old school and I would like a guy to approach me first. I like a masculine/manly guy. For me, if they approach it shows their masculinity and I really appreciate it even if I will reject them. I have more respect for them when they do.

[moviedude714]

Why does it make a guy look strong when he approaches? Does it mean that he would be unable to protect you if he doesn't approach?

[Gwenhwyfar]

I’m a more passive personality but occasionally I’ve approached guys

[Still-alive]

Anyone success in approaching any? :)

[Gwenhwyfar]

Yes 😊

[Still-alive]

Nice. One of these days ill be successful lol.

Last girl i was with though she approached me. ;)

[Gwenhwyfar]

A lot of guys like that

[Still-alive]

Yes i feel like it should be more even. Especially since the me too era started. A lot if guys are more reluctant than ever now cause they dint wanna risk being seen as someone just after sex or something

[Gwenhwyfar]

I’ve never had a problem with guys approaching me

[Still-alive]

Thats good. Just saying i think girls should approach more often. Cuts out a lot of guessing work

[Gwenhwyfar]

You make a good point

[Jessica405]

I don't know a guy. I need to get to know someone first. Never accept a date from cold.

Not that it applies to me anyway. I am well and truly taken.

[TacosRAwesome]

To be honest, everytime I fancy a guy and feel confident enough to consider asking I find out he's taken or gay.

[Still-alive]

Typical lol.

For me its just they’re taken already smh