Who puts up with more BS in dating: men or women?

Question

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Whoever you are, you put up with more crap than your partner does. . . according to you. And your partner says the same thing.

You are aware of every little thing that you must tolerate and many of those things you tolerate without ever saying a word to your partner, right? So she is aware of SOME but not ALL of the effort that you make, but she is aware of every little thing she does to accommodate you, so - to her - it feels like she is doing more than you. And you feel like you are doing more than her.

But why does it even matter. Are you keeping score and going to give her a bill at the end of the year? Relationships never feel as if they are 50/50 and sometimes they can't be 50/50. The really important questions are

1. Are you getting what you need out of the relationship, and

2. Being honest with yourself, do you sincerely feel that you are paying far too great a price for what you are getting from the relationship?

PlacentaSalad · Accepted Answer

The whole "happy wife, happy life" sort of proves that men deal with quite a bit of BS in a relationship. If your entire happiness is dependent upon how happy she is, and if she is unhappy then you are also unhappy, that's some huge BS.

That being said, prior to marriage it's probably based more upon individual experiences. Before the conversation ended and we both went to bed as it was getting late, I suggested to a woman I was talking to that "we should chat and hang out more often" and then the next day, when I was busy working a long shift and didn't find the time to message her first, she texted me angrily, telling me she was going to block me because I apparently disappeared on her. Keep in mind, it wasn't even 24 hours since our "goodnight" text message. And I was busy.

Sure, women may deal with some BS as well but the "crazy ex-girlfriend" is not exactly a cliche or a misjudgment men have about their partners.

weasley8 · Accepted Answer

It depends on what you mean by that. Women have to deal with more violence and fear of death. And because of that men have to deal with more vague non-answers. Because I’m an attempt to mitigate the fear of death, women can get very hesitant to be vulnerable. We hesitate to go out with someone because we don’t want to end up dead in the back of their car. But we also hesitate to clearly turn someone down, because we don’t want them to pull out a gun or punch us in the face. Because it happens. If we solely take into account the amount of so-called “BS”, it’s probably men who deal with it more. But most of the time it’s because the severity that women have to deal with is much higher.

tatianamay · Accepted Answer

Lol, men have voted for men. I think putting up with bullshit doesn’t depend on one’s gender.

For example, a woman might be a gold digger and may be with a man just for his looks and money. On the other hand, men can do the same, while they want a trophy wife or something. Men can be abusive, and can abuse the woman, the woman may put up with his shit because she loves him. A woman may try to kill a man to take revenge, or she can do anything to harm the guy. Trigger his insecurities. Manipulate him and so on. Guys can do the same thing. Anyone can put up with anyone’s bullshit. Because they just love them a lot to leave them

Anonymous · Answer

I sincerely wish we could stop making it a competition. I have friends---both men and women---who have been cheated on, lied to, dealt with abuse, dealt with being ghosted, dealt with a partner that didn't give a s---t about them because some people are grade A a--holes. Why is it fair to say to a guy friend or a girl friend, your BS is less then that BS. BS is just that, BS! Consider yourself incredibly lucky to get out of the dating world or dealing with the other gender in any capacity without your fair share of dealing with BS!

natured · Answer

The poll is so cute, Women voted for Women Men voted for Men, it's really really amazing how none of us actually step down and tell the truth.
Because it's not ONE GENDER that puts up with more BS than the other. We're all different, the situations are different, dating is different for every single one of us... we have to stop putting a difference only in biological matters, we're different as humans...
I CAN HAVE the same characteristic as A MAN mentally... and i can be completely different from another woman's perspective... and so on so far..
It's easy trust me... let's not limit ourselves in BLAMING JUST ONE GENDER and putting up false statistics.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Depends what you consider bs.

Having someone nag to you about problems is just as annoying as someone refusing to acknowledge what you're saying.

I don't care whether it's over how much they are spending, what time they come home at night, who's taking out the trash/fixing the car, or why they never plan date night. Both are annoying and mind of cancel each other out.

I would say, usually the person who is disadvantaged by the state of status quo puts up with more bs.

Example: He complains she never cooks and wants her to help out. obviously he is the disadvantaged one since she won't cook until he nags.

Example: she wants a date night when they haven't had one for months? She's putting up with more bs because if she doesn't speak up, she won't ever get a date night.

Kaamraj · Answer

No doubt men in general and why I will explain. Dating is normally done when one is young to secure a mate. It is normally not done when one is older and in a long-term relationship (LTR), live in, or married. And here it is important to note how men and women gain sexual mean value (SMV). For women it's mostly by virtue of looks and fertility, which is time dependent and generally decreases with age, whereas for men it's based on socio-economics and status which generally increases with age. So the side which has more value will have more room to maneuver and the other side will have to deal with BS.

Now some women may feel that they are dealing with BS, and that is 100% true, however that is because again, most men (about 80% anecdotally) are invisible to women. Nearly 100% of the women are going for the top 10-20% of guys in their youth who now have the abundance mentality and are able to gain the same maneuver that most women have and use it to create BS in their lives.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

It can be both people are often not compatible and put up with shit.

I've seen 2 friends basically use each other over 12 months of a relationship, neither was happy but neither would make first move to split. It was like two spoilt kids.

we (their friends) ended up in to sitting them down and talking to them about it (been on receiving end of these talks a few times).

they separated and within 6months had decent partners.

if you are not getting on or something really irks you, discuss it.

in a relationship (including dating)

remember Trust, Repect, Honesty Communication.

don’t put up with BS or anything you don’t like, simply move on and that applies to both genders, all sexualities, ethnicities etc.

djmzes · Answer

Simple

Who puts up with more BS in dating: men or women?

Take the following scenario
1. A smart guy with a dumb girl = who is putting more BS?
2. A jerk and a smart girl = who is putting more BS?
At the end of the day, it is you who choose whether you want to put up with BS with the person you choose or not. It is you who decide what amount of BS you wish to put on with someone.

Just_call_me_Levi · Answer

Depends... abusive/toxic relationships aside, I feel like men are often more rational and less emotional, I personally can deal with overly emotional people, but it's taxing at times... I also feel in general men are more straightforward, and don't look for roundabout ways of telling you what's on their mind, or having to hear what they really feel from their friends...

I think for this question I have to go with Men...

But when it comes to fearing your partner may be cheating on you or your partner being abusive, I think women have it the hardest...

When it comes to toxic relationships, I feel women are more likely to use psychological manipulation while men opt for physical intimidation or in the worst cases get physical...

friendzoned4life · Answer

Men obviously,

We have to deal with being rejected for litterally anything in existence.

We can get dumped because she dreamed about us cheating when we didn't.

We judged on out height and Dick size but are not allowed to judge women on their fat-size

When we are good to them we are to nice

When we treat them respectably we don't make them feel special enough

When we act confident after a billion Girls tell us to act confident we are fuckboys

Then when they get with an actual fuckboy the good guys have to listen to them nagging

But whenever a man has a bad bad no one and especially not those women listen or they Just tell us it is not that bad instead of supporting us

And I could go on but it is Just men aren't treated as human anymore we are treated as wallets with penisses or as an emotional punching bag their is no in between

mirdy · Answer

I feel Both man and woman take on the same amount BS. Because we all have shit we dont want to hear dont want to deal with with our partners. Its not that man deal with more or woman deal with it. We all deal with. So to me both men and women deal with the same amount. Men might deal with the same bs all the time and woman deal multiple bs or the other ways around both bothe sides deal with the same amount. See the thing everyone is counting everything they deal as one. But in all Reality. Some of the bs you deal can be counted together. Because like i said some deal with the same bs all the time same deal with different ones everyday every other day or so on. So both for me

musicdove · Answer

I can’t speak for anyone else, but in my relationship, my fiancé definitely puts up with more. He’s very laid back most of the time and I’m… not. But I also bring more affection and put more love into our relationship. I think this might be true for many straight couples.

DollAlone · Answer

I dont think either sex puts up with more than the other its probably equal. Because headstrong, independent , intelligent people tend NOT to put up with BS at all. They dont have the time or patience for other people's bullshit. Also it would probably depend on how much your into a person that depends on how much you will put up with etc. So its probably about equal.

Lionman95 · Answer

I think both genders have to deal with quite a lot of bullshit because they misunderstand the other gender.
Guys do that a lot and most times by a way too high emphasize on sex while women mostly tend to falsely interpret a guy´s action and tend to over-interpret something guys do.

MrNameless · Answer

As a man, its easy for me to vote that Men deal with more BS with datin, g if I don't think for a second.

But its a two way street when you are in an established relationship. As other said, you have to know what you want out of the relationship and see if you're getting that.. But you also have to see it from their perspective as well. A lot of people don' realize their bad behaviors, until they are confronted.

ProCoffeeAntiSleep · Answer

I think what says a lot is that the ratio Women that voted that Men reject harsher, is about the same as Men that voted Women reject harder.
Obviously % wise its close as not that many people voted over all, but I think the gender bias is interesting even still

Sonorous · Answer

Generally, it's men. Women's sex appeal is a very powerful thing for a man. And he'll be willing to go out of his way to deal with her than she would him for that very reason. Men's sex appeal is powerful for women as well, but women generally have more options so the man isn't anything she can't easily replace. And the statistics on which sex initiates divorce support this as well.

blank_expression · Answer

I say the level of bs is not gender specific but rather how high one reaches in an idealistic mate quest. Say two stay together because they are close enough in, pick an attribute, smv. However, one senses he/she has the upper hand in the relationship and is able to delve out bs at will and get away with it. The other is “Who puts up with more BS in dating…”

Haru_chan · Answer

I have to say both men and women because entering a relationship isn’t easy especially if you do get with someone that will make your life a living hell.

Anonymous · Answer

I would say we men deal with a lot more crap since women don't approach us and aren't asking us out.
But then we got weird plonkers like apope, who are irritating and playing weird games with women. Not to mention the losers and those, who send dick pictures.
So that kinda evens it out for both sides.

victoriaxoxo · Answer

Both. I have been in some very difficult relationships with some very questionable men but I am also not proud to admit that I have been the bad guy in some of my other relationships.

Adam1978 · Answer

Men because women are masters of drama and other bs. Men don't create many issues therefore most of them solve them. That said I don't take bs but that also means very little dating.

Ghostykill3r · Answer

It entirely depends on the two people dating. In my opinion women do, because I've known a lot of guys who make their girlfriends deal with a lot of bs, and less women that do that.

MCheetah · Answer

In my personal experience, men. Women where I'm from complain all the time. Men do stupid things too, but women nag more. Just being honest. But as others have said, it might be equal across genders.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Why would you out up with bs? If you aren't happy, leave.

Anonymous · Answer

I voted women because many men say or do BS to get (more) sex, kinda everyone I have been with in at least a mild version.
Not sure what BS women in general do to men? But maybe there is something I am not thinking of since I do not date them :D

Toast792 · Answer

It depends on the individuals. People need to stop generalizing according to gender..

Aethereal · Answer

In dating, I would say men put up with more BS. In a serious relationship, I think women tend to put up with more BS

YOLOIFIC · Answer

In my marriage wife puts up with more than me in my opinion. Don’t doubt she would say the opposite that I put up with more.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

It's probably about even. Women deal with more on the front end, because they get a lot of guys trying to use them for sex. Men deal with more when the relationship starts and ends.

Goatmeal · Answer

I think men put up with more BS from society. We basically all get blue-pilled throughout our lives. Heavily. Then we are left to slowly piece together the true state of affairs. On top of that, women have the nerve to call us "privileged".

AlongCameCindy · Answer

I put both, i think its more about the person, i've only dated men and had horrible experiences often but i don't think it would be fair for me to assume women have it worse, i'm sure both genders get messed about.

beebella · Answer

All of the men will vote A, all of the women will vote B.  I, personally, have no idea.

Interstate · Answer

Depends on each other's personality, temperament, maturity and tolerance levels.

Anon621 · Answer

I think anyone can deal with BS during a relationship regardless of gender.

Asianguy123 · Answer

In case of America, both will put up with BS. They both fool around and live with lies but if it’s Asian community women have to tolerate men who fool around and they don’t get much money from divorcing their men

bannacookies · Answer

Without looking at the poll, I'm sure men will mostly say men & women will mostly say women. Because of that, I'll vote both.

IHateBeingaMan · Answer

probably men, because men have always been and probably always will be expected to do the heavy-lifting when it comes to starting a relationship and maintaining a relationship

NathanSG15 · Answer

Have you ever dealt with a woman who hasn’t eaten for a long period of time? Lol

MountAverage · Answer

If "bullshit" includes inappropriate behavior and harassment, it's not even a competition (women).

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Short term wom3n out up with more. Long term men put up with faaaaaaaaar More

Prideful · Answer

Women. They are genetically prone to BS in relationships, I see that shit every day. .

Anonymous · Answer

I misread the question and selected B. Can you please correct the results? Thanks

Anonymous · Answer

The game or dating has always required more of men than it has of women

Anonymous · Answer

Women do, But they have more options to avoid it but most of them don't.

SheerKiss3 · Answer

I think both struggle with different BS.

Lynx122 · Answer

I used to think men but now I'm not sure anymore.

slatyb · Answer

Puts up with? Why put up with BS?

Anonymous · Answer

Both, and for different reasons.

SupremeWarlord · Answer

Stupid question, of course it's men. 😬🏃💨

LivingExample · Answer

Whichever one is Accepting the BS!

Lemondrop699 · Answer

Definitely women

KrakenAttackin · Answer

How is this even a question.

Joker_ · Answer

Me..

little_black_dress · Answer

Women!

stuntbrain · Answer

Hermaphrodites

crazy8000 · Answer

Depends what it is.

msc545 · Answer

Men, absolutely.

Who puts up with more BS in dating: men or women?

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Who has worse options when it comes to dating? Is it men or women?

Who puts up with more BS in dating: men or women?

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Who has worse options when it comes to dating? Is it men or women?

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