What benefits are there to having a relationship with a woman beyond sex?

[Anonymous]

I've been asked why I don't date before. My answer is always that I get everything I need out of a woman from meaningless sex, there isn't much else they can do for me. If I need a friend, chances are I'll be able to do more activities that I personally enjoy with another man. Like not many women would want to go hunting. I can cook for myself, clean, etc. I don't need a housemaid. I can see a ton of draw backs to being in a relationship. Having to deal with attitude, they'll always expect more effort from you than they're willing to put in themselves. Just seems like a hassle. Tinder has worked out decently for my hook ups lately and I really can't see why I would need more than that. I haven't had an official relationship since I was a senior in high school, I think that's when I realized it was easier to just have sex and skip everything else

[OlderAndWiser]

If that works for you, I hope you continue to find willing participants to keep you satisfied. Most of us need more than that and most of us eventually find that in a relationship but, if it doesn't work for you, why bother?

[Asker]

As I said to Sam, I'm trying to see if I'm missing something and I'm willing to have my views changed but it doesn't seem like anyone actually wants to make a case in favor of relationships

[OlderAndWiser]

That's because guys who post these questions are usually just looking for a victim so they can have an argument and vent some of their hostilities. Besides, why should we care if you want to cut yourself off from a potential source of joy and satisfaction?

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay, here's an actual response to your question. The benefits of a relationship with the opposite sex, aside from physical, are the emotional bond and closeness that you feel when you have someone that close to you. That cannot be understood without experiencing it.

[Asker]

Why bother answering then? It just sounds like you're offended by the question and looking to do exactly what you're implying that I'm doing (which I'm not by the way)

[Asker]

I have experienced it, it's replaceable honestly. I think many people overrate love because most are incapable of actually achieving that alternative that I have. Most men if they aren't in a relationship would realistically spend most of their time alone, I don't really have to do that so I have experiences that many can't relate to I guess

[OlderAndWiser]

Perhaps what you experienced was not at the depth and intensity that others have experienced.

[InferiorElegy]

The more I spend as a single unwanted ugly ass guy the more I see reasons as to why I don't need a relationship or sexual encounters.

What can a female provide me with that I can't already do myself?
A moment of comfort for a cellar dweller? It's not a necessity for me and therefore isn't needed.

I can't think of a single reason why I would need a woman in my life but 5 years ago I could have probably come up with many reasons. The thing is I say that but the other side of it is no girl out there wants a guy as ugly as me unless I was absolutely fucking rich, heard it my entire life and that's how I know it's true.

[kyleelyn199723]

Maybe you have a different mindset but I think there’s nothing better than having a partner that you can do life with , that fully supports you and your future. A partner that is there for you through sickness and fun times. There’s a ton of things a girlfriend/wife will provide for you that a one night stand could never give you

[Asker]

Could I have some examples? Many people are assuming I wrote this question in spite but I'm genuinely asking

[kyleelyn199723]

I already gave you select examples above : actual love, support, someone that you are fully comfortable around, a person that you can have inside jokes with , a partner to do things with. Me and my man literally just stayed inside today , had some drinks while we cooked together , had lots of sex and watched movies and I wouldn’t trade times like that

[Asker]

Do you not have any good friends you can depend on? I mean you did specify one night stands but everything you listed I have friends that will be with me through thick and thin. I thought you were going to say something that's entirely unique to a romantic relationship

[kyleelyn199723]

I would rather be around my boyfriend than my friends 🤷🏻‍♀️ my man is probably the only person I have ever met that I can truly relate to. I have good friends, but honestly I don’t relate to them as well. Honestly you have to be truly in love to experience that unique romantic relationship. It doesn’t just come from forcing a relationship

[Asker]

I have friends I'd take a bullet for and vice versa. Would I be right assume you don't share that sentiment with your friends?

[kyleelyn199723]

Honestly I disagree. I would take a bullet for anyone I care about, I just fully feel like my boyfriend understands me over anyone else that I know. When you have someone like that in your life, you never let them go

[kyleelyn199723]

Like when I say this, honestly me and my boyfriend see each other as best friends.

[Anonymous]

There are definitely benefits... just not with 99% of women in this culture. The benefit comes only from a woman that is not led by her ego, and not brain washed by hookup culture and / or feminism. The reason why you don't see the benefit is simply because you've only met the 99% of women I mentioned. But with a woman that was in touch with her true self, was not promiscuous, not ego led, and was loyal, trust worthy and connected to who she really was, you'd have a life long companion that would grow with you, and teach you about yourself and life until your time was up.

But since that is less than 1% of the population of women, your current feeling is correct. Pro tip: Most people in relationships do not know their partner at all. Most people with many friends have no friends, and most people in committed, monogamous relationships are in fact in an open one without knowing it.

[Anonymous]

I like this question. And most simps on this site wouldn't dare ask it even though they think the same thing because they'd be too afraid of being blocked by all the women on here lol. But the truth is most guys feel this way. As easy as most women are nowadays most still require you at least get to know them a little before they'll sleep with you. (not for you but for her it helps with the illusion she creates in her head while you're jackhammerung away).
And if she has any personality at all a guy might start to like her as a person.

[Juxtapose]

The dopamine rush from "true love" is the real answer.

If you're lucky, you can have a devoted lover but most of the time "love" is just a person projecting their fantasy onto you rather than actually caring about you. They're in love with being in love.

[Anonymous]

Well it is safer to be with just one woman for sex as for getting diseases , you get a companion and someone to talk to about your day , as you get older you’ll still have them but if you don’t have a relationship it won’t be easy to have sex anymore so easily and if you ever want a family you’ll need to be in a relationship

[SamFromFL]

It’s not going to matter what my answer is. You have already made up your mind so why would you even ask this question?

[Asker]

To see if there's something I'm missing. Sure I formed an opinion, but I'm open to having my views changed

[Asker]

But in the same energy, if you feel that nothing you say will matter, why would you even bother to answer?

[SamFromFL]

Because I am curious why some people ask anonymous questions like these on gag. Why not use your username?

If you are open to hearing options hear are a few benefits to having a relationship:

If you get sick, there is someone to help take care of you and fulfill your day to day responsibilities. Sure you can struggle to do them on your own but it’s better to focus on healing while they take care of the house and responsibilities.

Having children gives us a better life as we age. Sure many may choose to never have a child but it’s better to have them and raising kids with a spouse is the ideal according to science.

Having someone you can be completely honest and vulnerable with is beneficial to our emotional health. Obv people are able to survive independently in life. But if you have goals and aspirations to be successful then having a partner to share ideas and who will hold you accountable has proven success.

You are better able to celebrate achievements with someone else. Sure you can go to vegas and spend money gambling and on hookers if you wanted as a single guy. But planing and taking vacations with a SO has numerous benefits of companionship and partnership. Getting a raise, celebrating birthdays, and just accomplishments all are better with a partner.

There are 6 examples of why being in a relationship is better than being single. Took me 15 minutes to type these so as you are open to learning and growing I’m eager to see your reply. Hopefully you don’t reject all 6 examples and can provide feedback.

[Asker]

Okay I'll address each point in order given
1. While that is a benefit as I said in the comments, I have no use for a housemaid, it'd be incredibly shallow of me to date someone for that sole purpose, but I'll try to look at everything collectively

2. I don't want children. My parents were both narcissists. You never know who you'll be in the future and we tend to raise children the same way we were raised. I'd never want to put a child through the same things I went through, I have enough introspect to see what I could become

3. I don't see why I can't have someone who is no more than a friend that I share that sentiment with

4. That sounds more like a person opinion than anything actually objective

So here's my thing, it sounds like most of your points come from a convenience standpoint instead of being highlights of unique aspects to a committed relationship. Almost everything listed I could easily replace with a different source (I'm also only seeing 4 points not 6, unless 2 of them are counted as 2 points in 1)

[SamFromFL]

Thanks for replying and yes the last two paragraphs had multiple points each.

1. Smart to see it collectively. And no I didn’t imply a housemaid at all. In fact I own a house so I share responsibilities with my roommates. My point is that I could get sick for a week or two and would need to either pay someone or rely on help from others to take over my responsibilities. The benefits of a partner is she would know how to step up and wouldn’t cost me money. Also Instead if relying on my parents or friends to make warm meals and check on me a SO would fulfill that role. In fact there is a benefit if she got sick as I could give her my time and love.. there is something about being needed that gives us satisfaction.

2. Tbh I thought you didn’t come from the best home growing up. You are correct it’s possible you will grow to repeat bad habits. But you can change, go to therapy and you can break the cycle. Honestly if you believe you will turn into s narcosis yourself then why have goals and try to improve yourself in life? If you don’t believe you will help others it’s better to cut yourself off from society and live alone in the hills. That way you wouldn’t be a burden.

3. Your don’t see that because you have never been in love. As you said you wanted to hear new things. Well when you find someone and fall in love then you will realize how important #3 is. I hope you get there one day, it’s def better than being alone.

4. Celebrating with others is objective as it’s part of family and sharing joy. If you just are by yourself that joy is limited. Getting a free dinner for your 40th bday must be worst than having a weekend trip with your wife to celebrate.

[SamFromFL]

Finally all say that in a successful relationship you still get independence. With the right partner you can still take a week with buddies and go party in Vegas. You can still have weekends where you are by yourself and do what you wanna do. It’s not like in a relationship you have to sacrifice your sense of self and freedom. Some people even have open relationships if you want to have sex with others. But having one person you grow with and that knows you better than even your friends whom you would take a bullet for is worth it. If it wasn’t then the majority of people would not seek romantic relationships and our society would be drastically different

[Asker]

1. Yeah that still just sounds like a really arbitrary point.
I was okay with what you said until you got to response 2 and 3. 2 was an incredibly ignorant thing to say and 3 is just incorrect because I have been in love, but you don't know my life so I don't know why you'd make that assumption.
4. I said it wasn't objective because it's an opinion. You make the claim that one is better than the other, that's opinionated. Plus you're also going off the assumption that I don't have friends it sounds like. I have friends who are like family to me I'm not alone

[Asker]

On your final point, I think most people simply can't replicate what I have and that's why they don't do it. Most people don't have the capacity for it

[Asker]

What I've gotten from the other writings of everyone else in the comments is that most people can't provide any logical benefit, it's just natural urges that pushes them toward relationships than any objective reality. I don't have those urges anymore so I don't think I can be convinced by something that really serves no actual advantage when you have no biological biases

[SamFromFL]

We have to make assumptions in life and obv those assumptions can be proven wrong. I originally assumed that by sharing reasons you wouldn’t change your mind and thus far my assumption has been proven correct.

2 isn’t ignorant because you admitted that you see a chance you will grow up to be a narcissist like your parents. If you don’t then that’s wonderful! If you do then obv therapy would be helpful if you want to change. Sounds like you don’t want to be like your parents so that motivation would help you change.

3 I actually read that you have friends based on a response to another answer here so in this case you are wrong that I assumed you don’t have friends. I’m happy you would take a bullet for them as that shows you ability to be empathetic and loyal.

Why do you assume most people don’t have a the capacity? Honestly when you make that claim you sound like you think you are somehow superior to most people. In which ways are you superior?

[SamFromFL]

You said you might again have those urges so you haven’t 100% ruled out the possibility of finding love. You have been in love so let me ask you this: could you please remember when she cried in your arms and she was completely vulnerable? How did that moment feel to you?

[Asker]

I said most people dont have the capacity because they don't have a similar mind set towards relationships nor the resources to support the same life style. That's literally objective that most people can't produce $1m for example if they needed to

2. I said that was ignorant because it sounded tongue in cheek with the "If you don’t believe you will help others it’s better to cut yourself off from society and live alone in the hills. That way you wouldn’t be a burden" comment and I've felt a lot of condescension coming from you throughout this conversation

3. Okay? Then I fail to see what validity the point of loneliness had if you already knew I wouldn't be alone

Sure, her parents got offically divorced after having been separated, it was a very rough time for her because she had to live with her mother but preferred her father but he lived states away. Her step father wasn't very nice to her so I was really the only person there for her aside from her sister who was away at college. She likely would have dropped out of school if she didn't have me with her, but I would have offered her the same support even if we were just friends. I've always been the kind of friend who will pretty much do anything for my friends. In fact I do a lot for people who are absolute strangers to me.

[SamFromFL]

by the way I agree that saying what I did about #2 was ignorant because I have two parents who are best friends and role models so I am ignorant to what your childhood must have been like. I would assume mine was better and assume my parents are a better influence on me today that yours are but I can’t know. So yes it’s ignorant of me.

[SamFromFL]

Yes a friend can support her In that case. But I asked about your emotions. How did you feel when she’s vulnerable and crying in your arms and she needs to feel safe because her life is crumbling. What emotions did you feel holding the person you love?

[Asker]

If you don't mind me answering a question with a question for a moment, what point are you trying to establish here? I'm not entirely understanding what the relevance of asking what my emotions were during a very specific situation is to answering the question I asked about the benefits of relationships.

To answer your questions I felt sorry for her, I shared her pain, but it made me happy that I could provide her comfort but as I said I would do the same for a friend and I don't think my feelings would be very different. In fact when my friend's grandfather died during our senior year in highschool I did a lot to make sure he wouldn't just go and off himself because I genuinely cared about him. Many of our friends in our group didn't put too much care into it but I made sure to stay over at his house often, check in on him and I'd say the feelings I felt helping him were pretty similar to the feelings I felt helping my ex with her parents divorce

[SamFromFL]

I don’t mind, I appreciate the dialogue and agree that I have had a condescending tone mostly because many others in the past have posted this type of question on gag and had negative motives.

My point is I was trying to highlight the masculine feelings that are natural and that are experienced with protecting someone you love. There are the emotions I felt in the specific situation:

I felt powerful. She was weak and open with her feelings so in that moment I felt powerful and knew that she trusted me enough to break down

I felt protective. As men our requirement is to protect others. Sure we do this with friends but it’s the next level protective feelings when my lover is wrapped in my arms. I know in that moment I will let no one harm her.

I felt trusted. She relies on me to step up and be strong for her. She literally can only cry and feel her sadness and feel vulnerable. So she 100% trusts me with her life and if she didn’t no woman would cry like that and need my trust.

I felt loved. In that moment she’s letting go and I feel like I love her more than anyone. She could have run to her mom or brother or friend. But I am the only person she wants right then and I feel loved by her needs.

I feel needed. You mentioned earning 1 million. That’s awesome and I’m proud of you for working hard to earn that. But in that moment we feel needed by someone and that’s beyond the value that work needs us.

My point is when we love one person romantically we share these unique moments that make a difference in our lives. Yes obv we support our friends and we love them. But there is a reason on a logical level that there is the love we have for friends and the love we have for one person romantically (gong down the agape love trail here intellectually..)

[Dinosaursandanime65]

[FamilyGuy2020]

To be perfectly honest I wasn't even going to answer this question it is just so out of the Norm! There are many Women who pay attention to what happens to us. Out at Area 51

[Smashingdoozy]

So... You're aromantic?

[Asker]

I wouldn't say that, I'm capable of forming a romantic bond with someone, I just rather not. One day I decided I had enough of the stress relationships produce and tried something else. It worked better and eventually I lost that urge to have an intimate relationship with one person. I'm pretty much looking to see if there's any reason I should go back to that by asking others what benefit they see in it

[Smashingdoozy]

Seems like you have no desire to which could be classes as aromantic. Just because you can doesn't mean you want to and that's ok. If it's not for you it's not for you. Probably better to figure out this on your own not by asking other people, because I highly doubt anything anyone says here will make you want a relationship

[Asker]

Maybe, I am then. That aside, I wanted other people's opinions. I tend to be very pragmatic so actual objective benefits are appealing to me but so far I've only gotten things that look at relationships through a rose tinted lense so maybe you're right no one here could change my mind since no one here is going to give me an answer that isn't subjective it seems

[Smashingdoozy]

I mean benefits of a relationship is companionship and sexual chemistry rolled into one. If you are happy fulfilling these separately I don't see the issue.

[Avicenna]

Lots of them- companionship, for one

[LimitedBenefits101]

There isn't any.

[888theGreat]

She can see your last wishes are carried out

[grega239]

Good question