After how many dates do you expect to sleep with him/her?

Question

fashionguy17 · Accepted Answer

I was in a relationship with a woman for 3 years. It ended last year. Now that I am older, and looking at the current dating market, I date differently now.

First of all... I am not going to give a woman my non-sexual attention. I will not be your emotional tampon. I will not be friendzoned. I will not be there for you while you are smashing other men, knowing full well that I want to have sex with you and you keep me as a backup plan. Any man that does that, does not respect himself. Just saying.

In any case... I expect to sleep with a woman on date number 2. Date 1 will take place somewhere in the open to get to know each other. Date 2 will take place at my house. If we do not have sex at all after date 2 at my house, I'll block and delete your number and you'll never hear from me again.

Some people may say that's harsh, but it really isn't. I learned from my past mistakes. I was with my ex from age 27 to 30. Prior to meeting her, I would take women one dates to nice restaurants, fun activities, you name it. I used to burn a hole in my wallet to get women to like me, but they would never want to sleep me with me. They would just friendzone me and bang a guy who did a lot less for them. That is why I move the way I do now.

Date 1 will be either a coffee shop, bar, or a walk in the park. If a woman fusses about this (it has happened), I delete her and stop talking to her. If a woman can't appreciate me taking out in the first place, she doesn't need to be around me. The reason I choose these locations is because it's low pressure and if the date doesn't go well (such as, if the woman ghosts me after or makes up excuses as to why she can't meet again... at least I didn't spend too much money).

Date 2 will then happen at my house. Now... I don't expect sex to happen. Like, she doesn't have to have sex with me (obviously), but if a woman agrees to come over, she usually knows what's going to go down.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

At this point, I don't even expect it. I am just looking for a girl to hang out with and experience love, because sex is not that important for me as it was a few years ago. My hormones have calmed down and I don't feel like humping everything all the time. I feel like you asked this question because you are afraid to go all the way very quickly. And while it is true that a lot of men would want to have sex even that night if possible, I am sure that you will find a lot more who will go at your pace, and who don't want to rush it.

DianaWest · Accepted Answer

i don't go by dates, i go by months. i would wait at least 3 months before doing anything sexual with a guy (and i would ask him to get an STD test, not about to get herpes or HPV from him). i would wait 4-5 months before having vaginal sex because i want to make sure he is not a player/fuckboy who just wants to reach his "must fuck 10 different women by the end of this week goal". if a guy loses interest, great, so will i. it just means he is low value and only looking for sex and most definitely NOT husband material. if sex is what he wants, he can just go get a cheap hooker.

some men bitch about women being slutty and sleeping with 50 "Chads" yet they expect you to spread your legs after 1 week of dating, and after banging you two or three times, he remembers that the two of you do not have any "chemistry." puhlease. the waiting game is how i screen men. you wait at least 4 months and you do not pressure me, you pass. if you don't, you can skedaddle. now, i get it. some of them don't want to go broke. okay. i wouldn't expect a guy to take me out to a fancy restaurant once a week for 5 months and to pay out of his own pocket for the full service every time. i expect it the first date or two if he is the one that asks me out, but afterward, i am more than happy to split the bill. if a guy goes broke while dating a woman, he is just an idiot and yes, the woman is in fact just using him. guys should break up with those type of women.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I don't have a set timeframe for when I expect a guy to sleep with me.

I sleep with a guy when it feels right- meaning if a guy has a preconceived notion that we're going to sleep together after x amount of dates? It's not going to workout between us. And I let them know that upfront.

I NEVER sleep with a guy until we're in a committed, monogamous relationship together! Basically I know he's serious about me, that he's only interested in me, and not trying to sleep with anyone else on the side, and most importantly? There's an emotional connection there between both of us.

As to how long that takes? Weeks, months, it varies. Meaning if a guy is impatient, or as I said, has a predetermined timeframe on when he expects me to "put out?" They typically lose interest or move on. Which is fine with me because I don't play games like that.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Sex shouldn't ever be an expectation/happen because of expectations, it should be when both are ready/comfortable to take it to that level... It should be allowed to progress naturally, not be pressured into it... So how long that takes depends on the two individuals involved, I'd say.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

However many dates it takes for us to both be comfortable with becoming intimate.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Probably 3-6 dates?

I say:
if he expects it before 3,
he's not for me;
If he hasn't asked by six,
I'll ask if he's Ok with his di*k.

I think the first two/three dates are to get to know each other and to get a sense if they really like you or if they like you as an option.

I think by the 6th date, if he hasn't asked, I would want to know if he's a slow moving kind of guy, or maybe he's religious, if he's got a medical condition, or if he's really self conscious about his size (which IS a valid thing).

Explorer91 · Answer

Men will give very black and white answer to this.
but honestly.. from my experience.. it can be totally dependant what you look like.
if you are their type and they are really attracted to you.. a lot of men will wait, they try and act like they wouldn’t... but it’s very hard to walk away from someone who you are very attracted to.
if not so attractive then yea you are going to find it hard for a guy to wait very long. They usually won’t wait longer than a couple of dates. If you are attractive a lot of men will wait months,

silvermoon84 · Answer

Whenever we feel that comfortable around each other. I know for me it takes a while so he has to be patient. If he wants sex right off the bat, I’ll typically tell him it’s not gonna happen right away and if he leaves he leaves. I won’t have sex with someone who I’m not absolutely crazy about. If that means that I stay single for the rest of my life so be it.

Anonymous · Answer

I refuse to expect anything so i don't really take condoms. The only thing i do is make sure my breath is clean and do lip balm or whatever it's called just in case, cuz i don't want her to have a bad experience if she would be down to kiss. Not really expect to act on it, i only do it when it feels right to make a move but i have no problem with that moment not coming.

But if I'm on a date when the girl does want to take it a step further I'll probably think "shit, i don't have a condom" and slowly start to explain that.

Miristheiss · Answer

Four to six months of dating... or marriage.
My wife was a virgin.

Those who were used to going that far on the first date or the first two or three dates where those I considered somewhat loose and probably had a history of sleeping around and I didn't have interest in people with those types of values... or lack thereof.

DonkeyDan · Answer

Well that really depends on the person and relationship. I never have expectations of sex and have dated for a few month before sex before. If we are compatible then I'd like it sooner rather than later but if I feel the relationship has legs then I'll wait a bit. At this point in my life I'm not longer looking for the "one" been there did that, so sex is a little more important to me now, time is running out lol

Anonymous · Answer

I don't have any set amount It could be the first date it could be the 15th. The main thing is to know that she's interested in me sexually. That basically means that early on (date 1 or 2) she needs to want to kiss me, and that the next date after that she needs to want to make out. Very shortly after that we need to start getting clothes off and then playing with each other and bringing each other to climax. This does NOT have to involve full sex yet. It could just be hand jobs and titty fucks for instance if that's all she's comfortable with at this point. Then we need to at least proceed to oral sex. I'm fine staying there for awhile if she wants to wait a bit longer for full penis-in-vag sex.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

It's not so much that I expect it in the sense of "we've been on X amount of dates so now we should have sex". It's more that I expect the other person to make a move after a certain amount of dates because that's been my experience. Usually after 4 dates (if they've gone well) it seems like people start dropping hints of making a move.

Qdbrown · Answer

Here is the double standard... If a man dates a woman, it can be anywhere. It might be first, second, third of fifth. Maybe even after several months.

If a woman is in a good mood sexual mood, and just sees a guy she wants, but knows either out of her league or is looker will sometimes have sex for the fun of it negating the date wait time. And I have heard of this going on while the girl is dating, waiting for real relationship to get serious.

Pyrofox · Answer

3rd or 4th... But if she passes out like sitting in my lap I'm not going to complain XD. Like if we are at the park or something and she chooses to zoink I'm going to just let her nap and she can bonk me later if she is mad cause I didn't wake her up XD.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

One, why would she go out with me if she doesn't find me sexually attractive and vice versa? If it takes more than that im not gonna take her seriously, her interest is too low. Im not chasing someone to like me on a chance that i could get a maybe. Id rather get money, definitely

wtf636 · Answer

No set number of dates.

I think the longest I have actually waited was like a month. Not sure how many dates that was.

I would say if we have been seeing each other regularly for 2 months, and you still don't want to sleep with me. Then I would probably move on. I don't think I would be able to maintain interest for that long without sex. Especially if we weren't doing other things. If no sexual activity at all, then I would be out in a month for sure.

Kaamraj · Answer

A man usually takes the risk and asks a girl out on a date if he's sexually attracted to her. Therefore, most of the time he's willing to have sex with her on the first date. The delay comes from the woman's side, vast majority of the time. Now how long a man is willing to wait depends on many things; his station in life, the number of dates he's able to secure, his past experiences, and also if he's aware that his date does indeed make everyone wait for a certain number of dates before sex.

JustinTimberlegs · Answer

Wouldn't expect it after a number, just whenever she's comfortable with it. I'm more interested in getting to know her.

Kabluie · Answer

First can be fine, sometimes sparks fly. Maybe you knew each other as friends before dating, so that becomes more applicable. Or if you met someone new for the first time and the date is your first hours of really seeing someone, it could take another date or more. I don't prefer timetables, you just know when things can move forward.

humpbackjack · Answer

Now a days I would want to get to know her before jumping into bed probably 4 dates but at the same we would both be grown so if we really clicked and both were feeling it then first night. When I was younger before I was married I messed with a lot of chicks and almost always we got after it the first night

Gomezaddam51 · Answer

I have heard the old saying after 3 dates. It depends on the girl but if she keeps putting it off until the boy jumps through hoops and meets all sorts of nonsensical demands, the boy should dump her because if she is this difficult just dating, imagine the horror she will be if the poor boy marries her.

It is just sex so girls get over it.

Anonymous · Answer

I know the average is 3, but for me it’s how long it takes for me to be comfortable with the person and I’m not considered a toy for them to have fun with then move on to the next. I’m a virgin, so I’m hoping I lose it to someone that I am comfortable with and potentially a boyfriend.

Anonymous · Answer

With my first boyfriend, er har sex on the third date.
With my current/second boyfriend, we har sex on the first date.
I promised myself that, if i become single again, I Will never have sex so easly, i will wait at list after 3 months or after 10 dates or after knowing him more.
I realised that, When you show all your cards to easly, they stop making much effort anymore.
Maybe its something wrong on me. Because, if you live someone, you dont stop to make effort

chrissykerdock · Answer

probably the 2nd date... if he makes out with me and goes up my skirt with his hands he's likely to get a blowjob

dolemite89 · Answer

if she doesn’t want to sleep with me on the first date cuz it comes off wrong i get it, but aside from that i find it off putting when a girl specifically feels she needs to make a guy wait and the sex usually isn’t good anyways once she does. For me, if we have chemistry why wait? she’s already made up
her mind if she wants to sleep with me or not.

DumBear · Answer

Depends, maybe the first date or maybe never. Depends on the girl and how she reacts to me. If im datimg her then i am probably interested in having sex with her cause i find her attractive at the bare minimum.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I don’t actually have an expect. its a ‘it would be nice to happen’

wingattebaby16 · Answer

by the 5th date at the latest.. after that, you just don't have chemistry for me personally, by date 3... sometimes if the Chemistry is there, the 1st date.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

Depends how the first date goes. I'd we got it off and we are enjoying each other the second date I generally just see how it feels and go with my gut

victoriaxoxo · Answer

Usually 2-3. It really does depend though. I had some where it was maybe ~10 dates and some where it was just one.

SphynxUK · Answer

I don’t expect. It’s something that will happen after discussion and/or when it feels right for both of you.

Anonymous · Answer

This is weird I know but slept with my girl at the first instant, too much tension between us and we never felt that it was too much both had a convo of 3 or 4 words about i asked her
what happened when she was staring at me.
I held her by shoulders and said you can say but she was silent and I came close to her lips, she kissed and then we ended up having sex, all this happened in really fast.

MrCommodore · Answer

I don't have a set number of dates, just go with what seems natural.

The-Wise-Phoenix · Answer

It's different for every girl. But I will say that in this day and age I am the one holding off on sex until I know what kind or person I am dealing with.

slatyb · Answer

I never expect anything, so I'm never disappointed. But after a few weeks if we haven't, I'm going to assume that she doesn't have much interest in sex. That's a deal-breaker for me.

Sarahr123 · Answer

After marriage or if I really love them then after at least a year.

Itsok2behapp-e · Answer

None. I don't date to sleep. I meet to fuck, sleepover and fuck again. Simple.

TravisOfOregon · Answer

Whatever we're comfortable with. Maybe a hookup turns into a relationship, or maybe I fall for an asexual girl. Who knows?

Anonymous · Answer

Don't have a number but for me it would probably be a few months into a relationship. By that point we would knkw each other well there would be a measure of commitment and there is even a chance we may have slot over at each others place. Just builds they fimiliarity and makes it easier.

RealMarek · Answer

There is not set number of dates for me. I make sure I am in a committed, monogamous relationship first.

Dinklex3 · Answer

I don't have a number.  If the connection is there, then it's there.

rcljr · Answer

When it feels right for both, it does need to be talked about, expectations etc, if not, by the 5th date I’m going to assume she’s not interested and I’ll move on.

ReneD13 · Answer

No expectations, just whenever she's comfortable. Generally women control sex and guys control relationship status.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

If she's had casual sex before then i expect sex on the first or second date. If she's not had casual sex but not a virgin then maybe a few dates like 3 to 10. If she's a virgin id expect like 6 months or maybe more.

RebeccaSJ · Answer

It varied. I had been seeing the first guy I slept with for about a year and we had somewhat been building up to it, but I didn't expect to be doing it until I was.

On the other hand, I slept with hubby straight away -- the very first date.

sullyk1234 · Answer

a while if you jump in to quick a man usually gets turned off its all about sex today who how many i would wait im in no hurry

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I don't ever "expect" to sleep with her. She'll unzip my pants when she's ready.

ChefPapiChulo · Answer

When a girl says there’s no set time. It means she’s banged a dude on the first date but he ditched her so now she’s gonna make you wait. But won’t hesitate to sleep with a dude on the first date if he’s high value.
that’s woman logic

Trpkjr · Answer

Depends but between 3-7 dates you’ll at least get a handjob while making out

IveGotNoName · Answer

We have to be in an exclusive relationship before I even consider it

Nikki6t6 · Answer

Just as others have mentioned, if both people are tuned in… then there’s no set time… just go with it

Becca2001 · Answer

I don't know like a month or so i wanna make sure he ain't crazy first 😂😂

JennieF · Answer

With my husband, it was the first date. Usually, if he hadn't at least asked by the third date, I figured he wasn't interested.

invalid1 · Answer

Whenever there's a chemistry, that we talked about everything.. And we have to cut the shit and get to what we both want.

Glasgow55 · Answer

It depends on the relationship, and how serious one feels it's going to be. I've waited months to sleep with a girl, and then I've slept with many on the first night. Depends on the circumstances.

jshm2 · Answer

Usually half way through the first date. Really just depends on mood and likeability.

exitseven · Answer

All relationships are different. The correct answer would be when both parties feel comfortable.

Iron_Man · Answer

I don’t even pay attention to that I just enjoy the girls company

Recurrence · Answer

I need to trust someone and vibe well with them before I can be intimate with them, so however many dates that emotional establishment takes to form

Schizoaffective · Answer

I rather it takes a month if we're seeing each other 2 times per week or more. I am more emotionally wired and I need to establish a bond.

Anonymous · Answer

Guys shouldn’t answer this post, because they don’t decide that lol it’s in the hands of the woman when.

RXbbrt · Answer

Until you are prepared to get married do it by the Book 🙏🏾📕 yk? obvious answer.

After how many dates do you expect to sleep with him/her?

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