Guys, if you have depression and are dating a girl, what would you like the girl to do or not do so both of you and her are happy?

[Anonymous]

So I dated 2 guys in recent months, one of them admitted to me that he has depression and he was on the last available therapy he could try, and the other one was very likely hiding his depression. Both dating experiences went unsuccessful. The first guy ghosted me and the second guy gave a questionable reason then ended the dating (we are still friends on FB but he has ignored my new message for more than 5 days now).

Right now I'm dating a guy who is also very likely hiding his depression. Any guys here who have depression want to give me some helpful advice so I can be successful with this guy that I'm dating? Thank you in advance <3

Updates

+1 y

This is a long-distance dating by the way lol

[Mofunfour20]

I expect her to be herself. If she's worth my time there's nothing i can ask her to change about herself. How can you share your happiness in a relationship if you're depressed. Probably because he is that desperate, it always stinks

[Asker]

The problem was when I was being myself, two of them seemed to be depressed. So sometimes I felt like it’s not always right to be myself around you guys.

[Mofunfour20]

The world doesn't owe you understanding. won't learn much if you can't be yourself. Being sensitive to others often comes at a high cost. You care too much for what they think of you

[Chris2769]

Wow its a tough one! I think the most important thing for you as the girl is to realise his moods has nothing to do with you, and you can’t save him. Just support him and be there for him when he is down.

[PositiveNote]

Whenever depression is a part of the relationship, there are going to be rough moments. It takes couples counseling (professional therapy) to overcome such things.

Since depression is such a common thing for men and women—some not even realizing they suffer from it—I wouldn't say avoid men with depression. Just realize that both you and he would have to do the work to keep a relationship open and working.

Really... I know things.

[Wester1967]

Stop texting and talking with and about other guys. Stop triangulation of any kind. Stop accusing the guy of being aggressive and abusive for being depressed (this literally happened in a court case against my friend). Stop putting pressure on your dude bro to do everything for you himself. Learn stripping and pole dancing and make your dude feel like he won the lottery.

[Browneye57]

LDR's are a complete waste of time. For a lot of reasons.
And no mature adult wants to babysit another adult.
So you're batting a thousand. Frankly, I think you have the 'lost puppy dog' syndrome - this is where you take up with men thinking you can fix them, if you just have sex with them. AKA the golden-vagina syndrome.

A lot of women actually believe their vagina has the power to fix a man. Stupid, I know, but it's true.

[Ailaw22]

Firstly if I had depression I would want the environment to express myself fully without fear of judgement and if you can provide that with love and support to him it will certainly help

[FunkyMonkee]

Both of me and her? Just be kind, loving and sympathetic until it passes.

[Anonymous]

Just tell him you adore him, and wish you could be cuddled close to him

[Asker]

If he is going to show me some part of his body, for example just a little part of his chest and belly, would he get upset if I don't compliment him? And what exactly would he want to hear?

[ohshee]

I think I need to try your long-distance dating course

[Asker]

LOL sorry, but the one-on-one course that I'm offering is only appropriate for 27-30 years old men of my type:P

[OddBeMe]

Firstly, why are you attracting so many depressed guys?

Second, as a depressed guy, I take care of it with meds. And there’s no such thing as “last available therapy”. There’s just therapy.

[Asker]

I don't know why I’m attracting that many such guys lol I just happened to get to know them, then realized some time later.

He told me that’s the last thing he could try. It’s not meds. It’s called TMS.

[OddBeMe]

Sounds weird. There’s lots of avenues for him.

[Zygum]

Show your kindness and sympathy to him, make him happy with your funny jokes and then latter have sex with him

[Nik1hil]

It's amazing that how you are hunting down depressed guys.. 😂🤣 To date..

[Asker]

Lol no I happen to encounter those guys

[Avicenna]

I guess he needs you to be supportive

[Asker]

How to be supportive? I thought I was when I was with the second guy, but he still suddenly ignored me one day, and talked to me as if he was forced to the following days.

[Iron_Man]

Rub my back

[Asker]

I would if in-person lol but we are doing long-distance right now:)

[Iron_Man]

You would rub my back or his back

[Asker]

LOL I don't think you wanna hear:P

[Iron_Man]

Boo I was hoping you’re talking about me and I thought that was the cutest thing