Girlfriend's parents testing me out?

[Coollifebro]

Ok I never expected to have to post here but here I am.
So My girlfriend is Japanese and we've been dating for a while and I met her parents like a month ago, they said they wanted a strong and mature man for their only daughter and I promised them I was strong enough to protect and take care of her.

Now I feel like they keep testing me though whenever we visit them/they visit us.

First incident her father kinda backhanded me in the face (not that hard but it kinda hurt) and he said it was accidental cuz he was moving his hands around and I was behind him. I barely reacted as I wanted to seem strong

Second incident was at their house, her mom asked me if I wanted anything to drink, I said juice or water if anything. Was sitting on the couch on my phone and 15 minutes later she threw one of those small juice boxes at me and it hit me right in the nuts. Again she said it was accidental and laughed a bit, I was really in pain this time for a good 15 minutes but I barely moved and acted like nothing but I think her mother could feel she had got me good. She asked if I wanted an icepack, I said no its barely anything.

3rd incident I was helping them with some garden work on flowers and the mom elbowed me in the gut, she said she was taking out bad weeds and it was accidental and this time It kinda hurt aswell (I didn't expect her to have such force) and I acted like It was nothing.

I feel like they are testing me and they keep speaking Japanese together when I'm here (the parents). Should I learn Japanese? Or another option? there's a poll

Tell girlfriend

Learn Japanese

Dont say anything and pass the test

[AviatorTom]

These may or may not be incidental...

Talk with your girlfriend about this and get her opinion and what to do or not do about it. It's common for parents to "check out" a guy their daughter may eventually marry. Remember that, in oriental cultures, saving face is very important, and they may be seeing if you are willing to lose face in front of them.

That they continue to check you out is probably a good thing. Otherwise they would have told their daughter to dump you a long time ago, and (assuming she follows oriental culture where you always respect your elders), she woudl no longer be your girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me they are not testing you, they are trying to run you off. So you leave their daughter alone, and they do not have to tell her no. Japanese people are about the most racist people in the world besides Koreans. You ain't what they want her with, but go ahead and eat shit and play this game you think they are playing.

[kyleelyn199723]

I think that’s a huge assumption and a lot of negativity to put in somebody’s ear.

[Flower7]

Her parents are definitely showing violence toward you and I don’t believe that any of it was accidental. This is not a “test” that has an end to it. They truly seem to have a problem with you and that most likely won’t change. Especially not on the basis of you taking their physical abuse.

[kyleelyn199723]

I think you should learn Japanese 😊 it will show her parents that you are interested in their daughter and also their culture. Also maybe they are testing you, but just rope with it, eventually they will stop.

[kyleelyn199723]

Roll with it**

[Coollifebro]

Thanks. Thats the type of comment I needed. Will definitely try learning Japanese, even though its very difficult. Curious to see what others have to say

[kyleelyn199723]

It may be difficult, but you will definitely impress her and her parents. I think that may be a step to developing a better relationship with them

[sunshineglow]

That's one weird bunch of people. They aren't testing you, they hate you.

[Anonymous]

Are you white?

[boobliker]

be onist with her