Are we not compatible?

[Anonymous]

So I recently started dating my friends with benefits and so far I do like spending time with him, we have a lot of fun together on dates and the sex is great. But I'm used to dating sweet guys who pay for our dates in the beginning, compliment me all the time, do sweet acts of service (ex. Just cuddling with me when I'm on my period or cooking for me) without me having to ask for any of it. And this guy doesn't do any of that, from the beginning we split the bill (Which I don't mind but were both Asian and Asian men hate letting women pay on the first dates, so its a bit of a red flag for me) and I even had to ask him if he was attracted to me because he never complimented me or my pictures so I felt like he wasn't.

I know everyone has a different love language and I think his is quality time. But for me it's not working, I feel like he only asked me out because he found out I was dating other men. And I need words of affirmation at the very least. Are we just not compatible and should I stop seeing him? Or are love languages worth talking about?

[Anonymous]

First of all this used to be a friends with benefits situation so maybe he doesn’t really know how to transition to something more serious and you need to talk to him. Second, the fact that he is going out with you shows he is attracted, stop putting so much value in compliments and likes on pictures. Not everyone is good with giving compliments but it’s not the end of the world because it can be corrected if you ask. A lot of this has to do with maturity and not compatibility. Compatibility changes all the time. People change, their beliefs change, they grow. Over the years someone you used to be “compatible” with may no longer be “compatible” and so it takes maturity to recognize there’s more to a relationship and if you want a healthy long term relationship there has to be a willingness from both people to put in the work and the effort.

[Asker]

Thank you!! That makes a lot of sense & you were was very helpful😊

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome. I was kind of in a similar situation although it was more of a long distance situationship and I am a bit similar to this guy in that it’s difficult for me to open up and also give compliments but I always showed that I cared and was attracted through my actions. However, I was never given the chance to improve and was ultimately discarded like trash so hopefully things work out for you.

[PrettyPriya]

My honest opinion is that it sounds like you are not compatible.

You seem to have some set things in mind that you like to see in a guy and he doesn't have them. There is nothing wrong with that.

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you for MHG

[boggboss]

Sounds like somthing u should talk to him about