Should I continue being the one to initiate?

[flyeaglesfly]

Hi! I (29M) have been seeing this girl (27) for about 4 months. We share a mutual group of friends so that is how we met. The past couple of weeks, I feel like her interest has changed. I've arranged the last 3 dates and it seems like lately I've been the one to call or text. Whenever I did ask to hang out, she was very engaged, always agreed to plans and never bailed. Also, over text, she asks questions, continues the conversation, etc. When I call her, she'll answer. If she misses my call, she'll call me back. Maybe there's nothing to be concerned about here but I'm a bit nervous with her all of a sudden not being the one to initiate. Any advice? Thank you.

Updates

+1 y

To add, we haven't had any talk yet about what we are looking for, what we "are", etc

[PrettyPriya]

What you might be experiencing is the end of the "honeymoon" phase. It is that time in the beginning where everything seems hyper exciting.

After a while, like anything, you fall into more of a normal routine. It isn't a bad thing at all. I have been dating someone almost as long and yes, we still talk and text, but we also know we both have jobs and responsibilities.

It isn't that we love each other any less, we just don't constantly churn out texts like in the beginning when we were both crushing. I wouldn't worry about it. 😊

[flyeaglesfly]

Thank you for your opinion, hope you're right! Have a great day!

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you AI Bot for SO 👍

[KrisPW]

We get in our heads too. And many don't want to be labeled as "clingy". And if she's more traditional, guys were supposed to pursue the girl and we were supposed to "wait for him to call".

Obviously things are changing, but if it's working for now, and you are enjoying your time with her, keep initiating. Let her know you'd love her to call you if she finds something fun to go do together.

[alleon]

Maybe she doesn’t want to seem over bearing or too pushy or scare you off. Maybe she’s in her head too and is scared to get shot down.

[flyeaglesfly]

Thanks! You might be right. I feel like I've definitely said some things and acted in ways that would positively reinforce that I'm very much into her but who knows.

[alleon]

Like what if you don’t mind me asking?

[flyeaglesfly]

A while back in the "talking" phase, we both expressed that we really like each other. Since then, I've told her that she makes me really happy, my feelings for her have definitely gotten stronger, I care about her and that I missed her after an extended period of time that we did not see each other. I keep initiating contact for us to spend time together and just to talk in general whether it be a call or texting. It was her birthday not all that long ago and I told her that she is very special to me.

[alleon]

What do you guys do when you spend time together?

[flyeaglesfly]

In the last month or so, we made dinner together and watched a movie, we were at a friend's place celebrating a friend's graduation, went to check out an art exhibit, saw each other at a group dinner function and went to a basketball game.