What should I do? Do I continue to leave the situation or confront it?

[Ghostwave777]

I (25M) hooked up with a girl (23F) from a fitness class. The short story is, I asked her on a couple of outings and we clicked very well. We have a lot of the same interests and I told her I’m starting to like her. She told me she’s lesbian and isn’t emotionally into men due to trauma. She said she needed to heal from this.

However, she pushed for us to hook up on our second outing and said she’s attracted to me physically. She said she wants to stay friends but not be in a relationship and no texting all the time. Well we were texting for a few weeks after and we had some friendly conversations and some spicy ones too.

But, my intuition told me for her it was “oh I have to get back to him after reading his text a couple of hours ago.” She never initiated any texts, which I can see why but at least show some interest. I was always the one putting effort to plan stuff. When I went into the fitness class she was being weird and avoiding eye contact, nervously laughing, and didn’t acknowledge me. So eventually I walked away and it hurts but I know it’s for the best. I know I deserve better and shouldn’t have to hope for someone to reciprocate interest or effort in me. Also the not texting really killed this situation between me and her because we don’t fully know what the other is thinking.

Personally, I realized my value and am working on myself and my goals. I noticed that she still follows me on Instagram and watches my stories and likes my posts. She hasn’t messaged me and it’s been a month so I’m taking this as a sign to continue focusing on myself and believing that the right person will find me in time. I’m getting mixed opinions: some are telling me this isn’t a priority for her/ a psychic told me she wasn’t nervous in class because of me, it was because she’s confused of her feelings towards me/ or we were texting too much and she felt bombarded. Either way she still has me on social media. Should I take this as she’s just being friendly?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have already made a decision to move on from this situation and focus on yourself, which is a healthy and positive choice. It can be difficult to navigate situations where there are mixed signals, especially when it comes to dating and relationships.

In this case, it may be best to continue to focus on yourself and not put too much emphasis on what her actions on social media mean. It is possible that she is just being friendly and keeping up with your social media presence, or she may still have some level of interest in you but is unsure about how to proceed. It is important to remember that her actions are not a reflection of your worth or value as a person.

If you do feel the need to confront the situation or seek closure, it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with her. However, it is important to approach the conversation with respect and consideration for her feelings and boundaries. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide whether or not it is worth pursuing further, but remember to prioritize your own well-being and happiness above all else.

[misogynistic_pig]

I'm sorry, but I need more information to be able to give you a proper and useful answer.

Could you provide more details about the situation you are facing? That way, I can better understand the context and help you make an informed decision.

[Ghostwave777]

On our first outing I really grew to like her bc we shared a very similar life and interests. She said she’d like to see me again. On our second outing is where I saw some red flags: when I paid she said that’s dumb cause she wanted it 50/50 instead of just saying thank you but I’d like to split it, even after she told me she was lesbian we made out. She told me she didn’t want to lose me as a friend bc she was lesbian and she was worried how I was going to react. I told her I’m not upset about that but I just felt we clicked so well together. On the way back to my car I held her hand and she said “just cause we’re holding hands doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship”, and lastly she doesn’t initiate anything (I think it’s cause she was traumatized by past relationships and learned to bottle up her emotions so she won’t get hurt again). Her and I are both stubborn and prideful (Gemini’s) and I think we were testing who would reach out first. Recently I just said screw it and I reached out and she texted me back. She could’ve easily not texted me back cause I didn’t text her back after her taking 6hrs to get back to me the last time. But she did and we had a fun conversation about what we’ve been up to and I asked her if she was free soon and she said yes. She couldn’t make it this weekend but she gave me an alternative date, so it showed me she actually wants to see me and isn’t just canceling.

[MeIsTomboy]

In my opinion, I would say to give her more time. But if she said she was lesbian, but still physically attracted to you then... She might just be confused with her feelings. Right now, I would take this as her just being friendly.

[Ghostwave777]

I honestly spoke with a love psychic and she told me that this girl is into girls but she doesn’t want to end up with one. She also went on to say she has feelings for me and does think of me more than she lets on. This girl doesn’t reach out much bc she was traumatized by past relationships with guys and she doesn’t want to get hurt again. She holds herself back out of fear. I get that but I will just be patient with her and we’re planning on seeing each other again

[MeIsTomboy]

That's good! So y'all are basically talking again... 👍

[Backwood1988]

I mean I am new about sexual kind of stuff and I would definitely like to talk to you and everything and I would like to learn everything and talk to you about that and learn everything from you and maybe we can learn about everything about each other and everything like inside and out about our body and personal things and questions

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Best bet is to move on.