So a few months ago I went on a first double date with my friend. It appeared to be going well and we all went back to my guy's place. We were in separate rooms and when I checked up on her 30min later, she had left. I left immediately to look for her as she wasn't answering her calls/messages. Eventually she answered - I found her and she told me that her guy tried to finger her without her consent (she left before he could). I convinced her to report but she was adamant she didn't want to, her reason being that "it didn't go in", "he was drunk" and it happens "all the time".
I felt terrible the whole night and didn't know what to do. I first confronted my guy (Luke) about what happened - he was shocked and apologetic and had a talk with his friend (Ruben) about it, who apparently was so drunk he didn't have much recollection of it. I also confronted Ruben and he ended up messaging my friend (Jane) to apologise. Jane was upset but said she accepted his apology and didn't want me to stop talking to Luke because of it. Long story short, Luke ended up asking me for a second date and I said yes.
Now a few months have passed and I'm still seeing Luke. Jane was aware that Luke and I were talking after what happened but I haven't updated her that we're still seeing each other because we don't usually talk on a regular basis and haven't met up since due to COVID (we talked a bit after to follow up on how she was feeling etc).
Now restrictions have eased and I'm organising a birthday dinner with Jane attending. I'd like to invite Luke too, but I feel very awkward having them both in the same room and having to interact with each other.
The reason why I kept seeing him (apart from the fact that we really liked each other) is because in my opinion Luke and Ruben are two separate people. I guess I also took Jane's word for it that it was ok (wouldn't have if she wasn't ok).
How do I approach this and am I wrong for seeing Luke? Any advice appreciated!
I felt terrible the whole night and didn't know what to do. I first confronted my guy (Luke) about what happened - he was shocked and apologetic and had a talk with his friend (Ruben) about it, who apparently was so drunk he didn't have much recollection of it. I also confronted Ruben and he ended up messaging my friend (Jane) to apologise. Jane was upset but said she accepted his apology and didn't want me to stop talking to Luke because of it. Long story short, Luke ended up asking me for a second date and I said yes.
Now a few months have passed and I'm still seeing Luke. Jane was aware that Luke and I were talking after what happened but I haven't updated her that we're still seeing each other because we don't usually talk on a regular basis and haven't met up since due to COVID (we talked a bit after to follow up on how she was feeling etc).
Now restrictions have eased and I'm organising a birthday dinner with Jane attending. I'd like to invite Luke too, but I feel very awkward having them both in the same room and having to interact with each other.
The reason why I kept seeing him (apart from the fact that we really liked each other) is because in my opinion Luke and Ruben are two separate people. I guess I also took Jane's word for it that it was ok (wouldn't have if she wasn't ok).
How do I approach this and am I wrong for seeing Luke? Any advice appreciated!
Updates
+1 y
P. S. I know what's done is done and I can't change what should've happened. I would appreciate any advice on what to do moving forward with the dinner and also Jane and Luke in general. Thanks heaps!! 🙏
