What do you think about it, am I being racist or rational?

[Anonymous]

I think everyone knows that the overwhelming majority of men prefer to date white women ( It's their right, I don't see a problem with that). It turns out that many white men have already tried something with me, but I never stayed with them, as I always believe that the overwhelming majority of men (especially white men) they prefer serious relationships with white women, and that they most of the time only date black women just for sex and fun. My black friends seem to agree with this, not only they but other women of color agree as well. I don't generalize all white men, but avoid frustrations. Do you think it's a racist thought or am I just being rational?

[Anonymous]

Please take this with a grain of salt, as I can only make assumptions in the hopes that I can steer you toward what the issue MIGHT be.

I've never dated a black woman... but I've only ever had a *crush* on a black girl in middle school. She was quiet, usually by herself, and when she spoke, she spoke softly. I may never forget that.

Men are attracted to "femininity." Anyway you look at it, whether you believe men "only care about looks" or "only care about sex," the greatest asset a woman has is her femininity, and THAT'S what catches the attention of men. But what IS femininity?

Well, you MIGHT assume that femininity is constructed around "whiteness" or "Western societal standards" of what it is to be feminine. This kind of thinking is regressive. A woman's femininity is universal, found cross culturally. It includes being:

Cautious, Empathetic, Gentle, Cleanliness, Shapely.

One criticism about black women I've heard (American black women, anyway) is that they can sometimes be too "overbearing" or that they have "too much flare." I don't know if these are common criticisms, but it's something to note. I can only assume this might be due to the fact that a lot of black women have often had to deal with poverty or single handedly bringing up children as single mothers. So naturally, I guess they had to adopt a "strong personality" in order to get by in life in the absence of fathers.

White women (at least for the most part) have lived relatively stable, nuclear family lives that they might not have needed to change their behavior in order to adapt in a struggle. Thus, they could afford to be more feminine... thus why they might seem more appealing to men of all colors.

This is not just White women, by the way... Many Arabic and East Asian women have these feminine qualities. This is despite the fact that in places like Saudi Arabia, women are still suffering from lack of women's rights.

But these are just my thoughts.

[PlacentaSalad]

You are stereotyping and generalizing white people based off of what your POC friends/family tell you. By definition, this is not rational because how exactly do they know? They very well might also have preferences to date their own race and want you to follow their ideals. If anything, you are being led astray by friends and family who are actually racist towards white people, who are trying to discourage you from dating anybody white because they are prejudiced and prefer to see you dating your "own kind."

You have people showing interest in you. Choosing to disregard them simply because they are white just means you may miss out on a good relationship. The thing is, women (and simps who want you to choose them) will tell you that literally every guy is only interested in something "fun and sexual." This isn't something exclusive to white men. So it's up to you to figure out what exactly these men want and if they are compatible with you.

I meet quite a lot of white men who would like something serious with a black woman, or who don't really have any preference. Don't let the "Yt people R rAcISt!" rhetoric get to you. I personally wouldn't mind having a black girlfriend, she can be just as much a girlfriend material as anybody else.

[ObscuredBeyond]

I am usually attracted to darker women. But I try to keep an open mind. Thing for me is, I can't be content with a pretty face for very long. Sex can wait, as it rarely ever solves anything. But I do want to know what she really stands for, and how her mind works. It clues me in quickly on whether I should stick around, or skip on out.

I've met women from all across the matrix of appearances. But if they're tire slasher basket cases, I get out of there fast! Some men might stick around just long enough to get a dip. But not me! I don't consider her to be worth it!

[HighValue]

The problem isn't really race. The real problem is actually the the majority of White men that are interested in Black women happen to be liberals/democrats. Liberals/democrats tend to have different morals and tend not to stay loyal long term and often aren't good relationship material if you want an exclusive LTR to raise a family with.

I would suggest if you like White guys to pursue a conservative one. It is less likely they would be interested, but if they are interested, they are much more likely to be the LTR type of person.

I hope that helps.

[Northernlights25]

No for once this actually does seem rational, or at least most of it. Waddaya know, on gag of all places. I remember reading and looking at some dating statistics and it does seem supported by the numbers, generally culturally speaking. But as you say; no need to generalize. I for one have never been against the notion of a serious relationship with a girl I like no matter her colour. Even had one LDR with a black girl. So the fact that you might have ended relationships with white guys for no other reason than thinking they must be after a serious thing only with their white counterparts, that's irrational. If they're with you they're with you for a reason.

[Carolus]

Not racist but irrational, nothing is guaranteed in life nor certain forms of relationships, date whoever you please irrespective of color as it depends on an individual and not a group of people / race. Furthermore, not all of people are open to dating outside their race nor are they racist or wrong.

[Andres77]

You're expressing your experience. That's not being racist.
And you clarified that "not all" but it's what you lived, it's what you know. So now, wherever you go you'll likely have certain expectationsThat's not racist either. If you're not interacting with those of another ethnicity/culture then it doesn't matter. If you do have to interact with them then it's only fair to judge them by how they act with you. I don't see anything wrong with what you wrote.

[driven159]

I have dated many different races of women in my life the length of the relationship had nothing to do to their race I personally think darker skin woman are sexy and nice and intelligent and would like to very much have a woman be my soulmate and i think when it comes down to it most are that way

[rocksongwriter]

"the overwhelming majority of men prefer to date white women"

Unless you actually have data to back that up, then I vote " racist thought".

[Asker]

Are most white men dating white men or women of other races?

[rocksongwriter]

I'm going to assume you meant to say "Are most white men dating white *women* or women of other races?"

In my country (the U. S.), the majority of white men date white women -- but that's probably because the vast majority of available women are white. So white men date white women because that's who is available. That doesn't necessarily mean that "the overwhelming majority of men prefer to date white women".

[GlassTop]

I think it’s hypocritical that so many minority races prefer white men to date yet say white men are racist. Why do you want to date white men so badly if they are racist?

[Asker]

I don't want to date white men. I want to know what makes them attracted to me.

[crmoore]

Some could argue it's a racist thought over some silly technicality, but I don't believe this notion of yours is rooted in actual racism. It's just a perspective you have. Though I do question the validity of the perspective (with all due respect).

[crmoore]

And honestly it's kind of sad that our current social climate has people questioning whether they're racist over something as benign as this.

(Not that I'm implying you're in any way at fault or invalid, just that I wish this wasn't even a consideration)

[AndrésC64]

Honestly, I think it's racist. Anything that anyone thinks about an entire group of people based on the color of their skin, is by definition, racist.

[Jamie05rhs]

Nah; you're probably right. I wouldn't trust them either if I were you.

[Asker]

You are white?

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah

[Asker]

Why wouldn't you trust them?

[Jamie05rhs]

Because we generally aren't raised to be attracted to black girls. From the time we're little boys. All of our examples of beautiful women are white (or white-adjacent.)

[Juxtapose]

That is insanely racist. How stupid would it be for me to date a black woman and then dump her just because of her skin color?

[Anonymous]

Nah Asian women are best, then black/hispanic women, then white women

[Asker]

Até black/hispânica better than white woman?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah for sure

[Asker]

Why?

[Opinion Owner]

I dunno they just are

[Anonymous]

“I don’t generalize all white men...”

—proceeds to generalize all white men—
🤦‍♂️ 😂

[Anonymous]

You: "white men prefer serious relationships with white women!"

Asian girls: "Are you sure? 😂"

[Anonymous]

I think it's a completely legitimate thought. And there's a REAL SIMPLE way of testing it. Without sex and see if he sticks around.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has different perspectives on things.

[Anonymous]

Not racist, just you're opinion.

[Waldoe]

I vote Wrong...