Why are the pickings so slim in 30+?

Question

I miss my 20’s, I had so many men to pick from. In 30’s, ain’t shit to pick from. I feel I am in a thrift store looking something that is not broken.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Opinions are all over the place on this phenomenon. Pick a person and you will get an answer. This is how a female Therapist explained it to me. Women are born with value. They are at their peak value around the age of 20. Then they slowly lose value as they slip out of their 20s into their 30s. Women under the age of 30 can generally take their pick of guys. I remember back in my high schools days hearing about 4 or 5 guys asking a girl to the prom etc. Men on the other hand build value as they get older. Example. In my 20s if it took a dime to travel around the world I could not get out of my driveway. I was going to Georgia Tech and earning my Engineering Degrees. In my 20s I would never have made a good husband. By the time I was 35 I was making almost $90K a year. That became $150K in my 40s and today even semi-retired I own my own consulting business. Most guys under the age of 25 are not men women in that age group want. It's a horrible thing to admit and to even say it makes people like myself sound like the world's worse misogynist. When women get much past 35 their value to men start to decline. I wanted to test this a while back. I spent about an hour listing all men that I know who were under the age of 45, making at least 150K a year. I came up with about 70 men. Not all of them were married. About 55 were. Of that group, about half were married to women under the age of 30. The other ones were either still married to their first loves, or were married to women closer in age to them. We don't live in a fair world. Many women don't want to settle down and start a family until they are in their very late 20s and into their 30s. By that time the available men as a number have gone down. I can't tell you how many times I have warned these 20 something females that there will come a day when those tits will start to sag, gravity will do a job on that beautiful face and you would recognize your butt when you look at it. THIS is when you will come to realize you spent your teens and 20s being a fool!

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

I think this is a troll post from a redpilled man. If not and you really are a real woman, you should Google The Wall. In short, almost nobody wants an old woman who "rode the C. Carousel" and only now at 34 decides she wants to stop Friendzoning all the good men.

Since women have all the power and leverage in dating, all the blame goes to them as well. It's your own fault and you deserve zero sympathy for STILL having a sh*t attitude at your age. And you're apparently you're a black woman, too? Black women deal with hitting The Wall the hardest. If you want to see what your "future" looks like, look below. Or look at that angry, bitter sounding "Artstatues" poster on here who's going to die alone, as well.

Babygirl_S · Accepted Answer

Because men don't consider women above 30 attractive. They give examples of celebrities who have had plastic surgeries to tell you that they do find older women attractive. Regular women don't go under the knife so their looks fade a bit just like men but for men it's easier as many young women are gold diggers.
They are still into these old looking men just because they have more money now. If younger women stop paying attention to these older men then the situation will be similar for them.
The ones who should be available to you are most probably chasing some women in their 20s because these women don't go for the looks. They are after his wallet and he is not even unhappy about it.
Yes you'll be surprised to know how many rich men actually WANT that type of women. They feel pride in dating a much younger woman.
Both men and women look their best in their 20s but men have it easier because of the high number of gold diggers in the society.
Sure there are individuals who age gracefully but they still age.
The only thing that can change the situation is if younger women also seek youthful features like thick dark eyebrows, less bony faces, taut skin, lack of a receding hairline etc. instead of wanting a man who can provide a luxurious life.
Unfortunately, people also don't pick based on a person's character alone. It is always like a bonus but not the only thing they're after. This is because we are sexual beings and want some sort of physical attraction to be there.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Because the older you get, your options become more limited. Think about it: most people our age are already married or taken. Cliché answer, but that's it. They got chosen in their mid to late 20s by other women. So that makes the pickings slim right there.

Now factor in the remaining single people:

They're probably single for a reason. That can be good or bad, depending on the circumstances. I mean look at me, I'm 36 and still single! Been single for over 12 years, but mine is mostly due to choice.
They are in no rush to get in a relationship again (bad previous experiences or they enjoy their freedom).
They're focused on other things in life (ie: job, kids, hobbies, etc) and dating isn't a priority to them. I have a friend that refuses to date right now; he rather spend his time and money on restoring cars.

So now, with limited options, you're forced to resort to other means to meet what few singles are left: dating apps, social media, mutual friends and coworkers...
Just remember not to lower your standards just for the sake of not being alone. It's not the end of the world if you're 30 and single.

Diodoro · Answer

You changed

The older you get the more deal breakers you form, the higher your expectations got, and just baseline what you want is changing.

When you're in your 20s your bar is far lower and all you're really looking for is a guy that's cute, makes you feel good, is kinda fun has some ambition to do better some day. Like in college everyone has the assumption you're there to make more money and have a better life

In your 30s you tend to want more from men unless you're still going for the guys in the age group you dated on college. Maybe you feel the guys who were working on themselves in college to be something would equate to a plethora of quality guys post college. I'm sure they did too.

But most people don't use their degree and the average man makes 40-45k a year and the average guy is 17lb overweight among other things. Average isn't great but there are quality average guys

Just depends what you're looking for and where. What are your expectations

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

So many men to pick from, yet you chose not to pick any, and now they've moved on you're confused as to why the pickings dried up? I mean, how did you think this would play out?

Regardless, you are where you are, and if you want to make the best of your situation you must first accept your starting point. Then you can take an honest inventory of everything you DO and DON'T bring to the table for a relationship. Do you still maintain your appearance in such a way that indicates you care about looking sexy and feminine? (sure you won't compete with 18-24 yo girls in their prime, but you CAN compete with women in your own age group.) Do you have a likeable and gracious personality and manner of expression that men find ingratiating? If not, then maybe do something about that. Do you bring some class and intellect to the table that your younger female peers can't compete with? Many men your age would rather date a woman in her 30s if it meant never having to deal with some braindead Gen Z tiktok diva whose most profound thoughts revolve around the best camera angle to highlight their ass on insta. Yes, your age means you may be out your "prime years" on purely physical terms. But if you set your expectations appropriately and aim for a long term partnership with a man you can ACTUALLY be with romantically (not some fantasy man who only exists within the rose-tinted memories of your 20s), then I'm sure you'll be able to catch a "second wind" in your love life. But if you just wanna dither and delay and "play the field" forever more, then I'm afraid that's a zero sum game because you're competing with a revolving door lf 18-24 year olds "fresh off the boat" so to speak.

Anonymous · Answer

The pickings aren't really that slim. It's a function of learned shallowness and materialism. People carry those prejudices and expect things to stay the same. They don't and won't. No, not you. I'd never assume it say that.

When young, the pool of men is full and directly proportional to the shallowness of one's view. As we age, the pool appears to shrink because the standard hasn't lowered yet. Once that standard lowers the pool grows.

Women 30+ have finally awakened to the fact that at this point in my life, good looks and material things aren't all they're cracked up to be, and they back up a notch or two.

The dating pool only appears to be shallow, because men are being snatched up before they expire. Expire as in what's left of their looks, their earning potential, their zest for life, and their ability to provide a quality sexual experience That will give almost any woman a warped sense and perception that "THEY'RE ALL GONE!"

There's men out here. Just look.

Charlotte20789 · Answer

I’m currently in my 20s and I don’t date because I am not interested in anything casual. I have only wanted someone I’d marry since I was in my early 20s. I love how so many men make the assumption that in our 20s we “rode the CC” or whatever the fuck. I know I’m definitely not and I’m a very attractive girl who respects herself. In fact I haven’t even had sex in 3 years since my last relationship. I mean the only thing I’m riding nowadays is my horse 😂. A lot of men say absolutely ridiculous things as if life was linear. They aren’t looking out for you and your best interest. Red pill men are garbage and the only reason they say so many awful things about women is because they’re bitter.
I know plenty of beautiful and successful women in their 30s who got married and had kids. The problem isn’t necessarily even women who didn’t get married in their 20s... most men think they have all the time in the world to have kids because they think they’re always fertile so they don’t have the pressure to settle down like we do. I think men who say such things about women “wasting their young years” are the ones overlooking women and being hypocrites. Girl, you need to change your mindset and there will still be plenty of men who want to marry women in their 30s. So don’t give up.

artstatues · Answer

They aren't
You can still find someone. It's a sexist myth propagated by incels and misogynists that women hit the wall at 30. You can still look good at any age, if you take good care of yourself, exercise, eat a healthy diet, moisturize, wear sunscreen etc. Cosmetic treatments (not necessarily botox or fillers but things like PRP injections, derma-rolling, laser) can also help sometimes. Also, try to dress in trendy and fancy clothes and wear only a tiny bit of makeup (mascara, blush and lip gloss) to enhance your natural features.
You can date guys that are a bit younger than you, or older guys, if you are into them

Curmudgeon · Answer

This is called "hitting the wall", in slang parlance. You can embark on a diet and fitness regimen to delay or minimize the impact of hitting the wall, but the wall (of aging, of less physical beauty, and disappearing fertility if you want kids) comes for all women.

Meanwhile, the men you used to callously dismiss have more clout, more resources, more self awareness, and more self assurance. And armed with those attributes, they are not just going to throw themselves at you and "simp" for you anymore. Those men have begun to realize just how stacked against them "the dating game" was for men in their teens and twenties.

BirdieBeep · Answer

I mean, realistically speaking, it makes sense, does it not? The older someone is, the more relationship experience they'll have, and the more likely to have already had serious relationships, even been married, and/or had kids. Also the older, the more likely people have been through crap, bad relationships that that made them wary and distrusting, good relationships that didn't work out that made them pickier because they now know what kind of partner makes them happy and are less open to what is new. It'll get even harder as you get older.

nitsuj86 · Answer

Sounds like a troll, but men like younger women. Men in their 30's date women in their 20's, women in their 20's are having too much fun to settle down, then when they reach 30, are suprised that men pass them over for younger women, that can give them more babies, and have a lot less baggage.

All is the perfect recipe for how you are feeling now. Should have gotten married when you had the chance. Now you will struggle, and probably have to settle. It sucks, but you only have yourself to blame.

FictionalCharacter · Answer

What us women go through in the age process of dating:

20s) I’m looking for love and a stable life.
Guy: “nah, I just want sex. I’m too young to be tied down.”

30s) so far I have my life together. Hopefully I get into a relationship.
Man: “yeahh….. I’m just looking for sex. I’ve already been tied down in my twenties. From a crazy ex wife and teenage kids.”

40s) Being content with being single for so long. Embraces self care and helping others.
young guy walks in: “yo, I have a thing for older women 😛”

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

In their 20s people are having fun dating, not focused on settling down, and don't exactly have an established career.

Those in their 30s are dating with a purpose marry and have kids. With that people are more picky. Men question ," will she make a good wife?" Women's questions are ," Is he established enough to be the breadwinner aka provider? ". On top of that people in their 30s have careers and trying to balance work and life on their own without mommy and daddy. So making time to date can be challenging

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Its called the wall. Pretty well known phenomenon. Women just aren't very desirable after about 30 to a large portion of men... namely the most desirable ones with other options.

I mean im 35 and my girlfriend is 19. You think id even talk to a 30 year old woman? 😂 hell no. Categorically. Its guys like me that are attractive enough to do better that you no longer have access to.

Personally id either bag a simp and learn to love being mommy. Or get a real man but be prepared to date way older than yourself like... 50s and 60s. Or just keep dating and having a hard time. Im not aware of many other options older women can reliably pull off.

Slartybartfast · Answer

Many men hit 30 and give up approaching, tired of the silly games women play.
Many just get tired of being demonized for it.
ask out enough women and you'll hit a toxic one who will ruin you for her amusement.

Many aren't interested anymore, to much trouble for the reward.

Many want children and only look at women in their 20's

many never got a chance and stopped trying.

At least you had your time, for many men it never comes.

Sparks32 · Answer

You have hit the wall. Women are used to almost being worshiped in their 20's begin to be left on the scrape heap in their 30's, If I had a Daughter I would warn her of this and tell her to pick a good man and resist the thought of trading up because one day the music will stop and she will be without a chair to sit on.

demonics · Answer

Welcome to not cashing in your chips when you had the chance. You will never be able to attract the same quality of man now than what you could in your 20's.

UdontNeedtoknow · Answer

Your the one whose to blame. This is the price of hypergamis modern women love practice in my the dating world. These women eventually have to pay for there false pride and inflated egos by missing the men who would have honored them. However for some reason these men weren't good enough for her to "settle" and you women keep on playing games till one day you hit the wall and hit it hard

Allie2468 · Answer

It’s kinda funny because even in my teens, boys never chased me. They don’t chase me now, either. I don’t think it’s healthy to say this type of thing because I believe there certainly are good guys still out there.

Focus on your goals in life, which makes you more attractive to those guys still out there!

Guy13 · Answer

I do not know anyone and I’m not far from 30 that married same age. 7-12 year difference… 42 Guy probably wouldn’t be “broke” financially but maybe emotionally broke.

I mean like I know guy whose wife is 17 years younger than they are. 51-36 and popping out second Family for him.

VikingWarLord · Answer

Women think they have all the time in the world when they're young, but they age like SOUR MILK. They need to snag a rich older guy when they're young, otherwise, they'll be used goods in their 30s. Women don't think too far ahead. There is always a NEW BATCH of 18-24 year old hot females ready to replace you once you hit your 30s. Older rich guys are looking for young and hot females, not old used up ones. Just the way nature, biology and evolution are!

Oigit · Answer

Partying in your 20's can be fun. But you can't do it for too long. Because in one or way or another all partying will catch up with you and tends to do so once you hit 30. That's true for both sexes as well.

Not all the good one's are married. Some simply take themselves off the market. Both men and women do it. It can be seem really odd to many people. But different reasons things like dating and relationships are simply not a priority.

genericname85 · Answer

well obviously cause the best options are taken at that age. people that are single either are trash, were always trash or were trashed by their previous relationship.

and make no mistake: i'm saying this being fully aware that i'm trash xD i'm not looking down on others.

slatyb · Answer

What did you expect? That men would wait for you to choose. Those men you had to pick from, but didn't pick, got picked by other women. If you aren't meeting anyone, you'll have to widen your search. Have you looked online? That's how my wife and I met. If I were single now, I would look online again. I would start looking in my city, but if that wasn't working I would expand to the entire west coast. Plane tickets are pretty cheap, and I could move.

HighValue · Answer

Having "fun" (being promiscuous) in your 20s means no good guy will want you for an exclusive long term relationship or to create and raise a family with.

Your options are to be with another promiscuous kind of guy that will likely cheat on you in the future and possible abandon you after you have kids.

Good men often have no interest in starting a new relationship with a woman after 30 if he wants to have kids, raise a family, and have an exclusive long term relationship.

People's past matters. Make bad choices and they have to live with the consequences.

Phoenix-gb · Answer

We're not all broken, some of us have been passed over on the shelf for a while though, just waiting for someone to pick us up and show the love they've seen those around them get so easily.

DWornock · Answer

Because age takes it toll. Things start to sag and sag some more. 30 can't compete with 20. At 20 they sell it; at 30 they give it away. Already, I can tell the difference. Pretty 19 year olds that I could have when, at age 22, I graduated from, I can't have anymore and now I have to settle for mid 20s. Certainly there are exceptions but they are far less common than those in their 30s want you to believe.

Zoloe · Answer

Just go for a young guy then. The pickings are still there, maybe just more work for you since you’re older (no offense of course). I know when I was in my 20’s I was an idiot and basically was blind to older ladies, but in my 30’s I realize how many times I could have tried something with someone older. It just never occurred to me. Maybe that’s just me, but something to consider. Being blunt may be the way to go at this stage. Good luck out there!

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Because the reality as we get older the better options in society tend to be younger and people generally desire the best available to date rather than someone passed their prime years.

Think of it as fruits. People desire the one hanging from the tree just ripped rather than the one that's been laying on the ground for weeks with little bugs flying around it.

Evan64 · Answer

I'm 26 and feel that way now. I don't want kids and I feel like I will soon have to compromise on either A-dating someone with kids B-having a kid with someone who wants them. I've been on dating apps for a while and all I ever meet are women who want kids or are single parents. :S

notwoke · Answer

Your assessment of the situation is correct. "Prime" 30 yr old men can get a "Prime" 23 yr old woman so is not interested in a relationship with a 30 yr old woman (sex yes). You hit the proverbial "wall" where your market value has declined and you need to start shopping in a store where you can afford to shop. Sorry, I know this sucks, but it happens to all of us including men.

Anonymous · Answer

Blame women like you, who broke those men, and yourself, because you couldn't or didn't want to pick a guy in your 20's. Now it's men's turn to pick the women they want, actually it was always men, when it comes to relationships. They just didn't choose you, because you slept around too much.

exitseven · Answer

All those guys that you thought were not good enough when you were i your 20s apparently found somebody that thought they were good enough and they are all married. Maybe you can find a divorced guy in his 50s.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Fishing in a bucket is what it seems you are doing right now so throw your fishing line in a pond, a lake, a river, a stream or in the ocean & I’m sure you will at least get a few bites or catch something wonderful.

Anonymous · Answer

It's shouldn't come as any surprise that most good men are taken by that age, and the good men who are still eligible at that age get to pick from the women in their 30s and those in their 20s. Here's a good article on the phenomenon.

https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/why-women-lose-the-dating-game-20120421-1xdn0.html

ragooo8 · Answer

Because the good guys your own age are married or dating younger.
You are past your prime attractive years (16-30) now you are having to compete with younger hotter girls who have intrest from guys aged 18-50.

Anonymous · Answer

Okay, you are a man who is incel and u try to spot your other incel friends! Do not worry, they are all here! Typing this question with full of joy! But they will always be a loser regardless of their age.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

It's the same reason why NFL teams trade for first round draft picks.

Anonymous · Answer

Proverbs 2:17
who has left the partner of her YOUTH and ignored the covenant she made before God

YOUTH
YOUTH
YOUTH
YOUTH
YOUTH

your time to find a partner is in your youth

AND YOU ALREADY FOUND YOUR HUSBAND
you didn't want him
good luck hahahahhahah

Sam_The_Savage · Answer

I don't bother about slim or healthy.  I just focus on boobie & butts. I'm not her father that I should bother about her weight n all. Just fuck n forget.

Miristheiss · Answer

Because the men you want... many are married to 25 year olds.  Many will be settled down and starting families.

RobT312 · Answer

Haha... is it really that bad? I think by 30 a much higher % of the population are taken or have settled down.

The1honestguy · Answer

Lol that is a different way you put things Shit that means someone has to go to the next isle to find a 40-45 then. You made me smile to read this.

JSmuve · Answer

Then you should've picked someone when you had "so many men to pick from". What happened? Did you have too many options?

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

Because most people get married in their late 20s. A lot of women I know say it’s fine being single, then they think they can up and get married when they want. You’re flirting with fire if you still want kids.

Meatunnel69 · Answer

Women my age have kids and thats lame af. Im single and fuck a rubber sex butt instead Rubber butt

jahaims · Answer

Because good ones are mature. Mature adults know what they want in life and what to do to achieve that. You are picking from the pool of rejects or ones that are still maturing like yourself

Anonymous · Answer

All the men in your 20s werent sshit either? If they were youd be married right?

Anonymous · Answer

What you feel guys feel doubley lol. It's common knowledge women lose their allure between 30 and 40. Marrying a 30+ year old woman is like paying full price for a used car with over 100k miles on it... you just don't do it.

Bricealan · Answer

Well, join the crowd! I too, had a lot of women to pick from and DID. In my 30's I still was able to go out with girls in their late teens.

Avicenna · Answer

It’s because a lot of people are now paired off permanently with someone. When I was in my 30s, I dated women in their 20s.

MJtheCoach · Answer

Hahahaha I’ve a website where I’ve said this. Girls get very upset when I tell them you will hit your Kryptonite when you hit your 30’s!  Www. Milademjay. com

Nagahime · Answer

I'd assume it's because everyone is already in a long-term relationship by then.

VanillaSalt · Answer

This is either an I told you so moment or a red pill troll trap… can’t decide. Either way… duh.

annabananna · Answer

Are you ok with long distance? Maybe look in other areas outside your town or city.

Juan_Sheet · Answer

Maybe because most men by the time they are 30+ are not looking for quick flings anymore but have settled down to actually being real men...

Kiran_Yagami · Answer

Because men prefer younger women and you aren't young anymore. Should have gotten one on lock when they still wanted you.

Yuuibtony · Answer

If u a 30 years old man dating a 20 years old woman or purposely going after a woman in her twenties ypu are gross and disgusting that pedophile behavior

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Because you're in your 30's! Prob got kids and shit.

Juxtapose · Answer

Really? I have had slim pickings all my life because you ladies just have not been up to snuff.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Most of the good ones are taken by then. Except for me, that is.

Nice222 · Answer

Many your age are either married or in long relationships. Once you are in your 40s you will agian have many to choose from again but they will be divorced.

Gidge · Answer

I've always felt like they were slim, even in my 20s. I grew up in a really weird area.

Why are the pickings so slim in 30+?

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