On a first date when you have not previously met in person, how important is the way your date is dressed?

[OlderAndWiser]

When I have a first date, it is usually a result of an online meeting through a dating site. We have each seen a few pictures of each other, exchanged a few DMs, and usually spoken on the phone once or twice (although I occasionally "meet" a woman who wants to proceed directly from DM to meeting for dinner.

She's looking at me, forming impressions, and by the end of that first date, she knows whether she wants there to be a second date. I'm doing the same thing, of course.

One of the things I look at is how she is dressed. A first date for me is almost always dinner at a very nice restaurant. I look at whether she is dressed appropriately for the place, and whether she has obviously put effort into making herself look as nice as possible. She doesn't need to be wearing the latest designer fashions to look nice and she doesn't need to have spent $100+ preparing for a date (new dress, new shoes, etc.); I just want to see that she made an effort because that tells me that she treated this occasion as important.

Do you form impressions based on how your date is dressed? How important is his or her appearance on a first date?

It's the first thing I see and it's sometimes an instant turn off

It's the first thing I see but it's rarely an instant turn off

I try very hard to not form instant opinions about a date, but eventally it will be one of several important factors

I try very hard to not form instant opinions about a date, but eventally it will be a minor factor in my evaluation

I really don't care how they are dressed unless it is wildly innappropriate

Something else; I'll explain in a comment

[Anonymous]

It does matter. It doesn’t have to be something over the top but like be clean and wear matching appropriate clothing. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. A guys sense of style also tells be things about his personality. I’ve been on dates with guys I met online and a few of them… Well I remember one of them showed up in gym shows that were so dirty and worn out it looked like he had had them for 15 years and walked around in mud with them and then let that mud dry. Shapeless jeans, a washed out gray sweatshirt with some weird text print and the arms of it were too short for him. There was also a hole in it on the shoulder. Together with this he wore a rainjacket witha weird gray-putple pattern that didn’t match anything he was wearing.

Anlther guy showed up wearing washed out, old looking green pants. I’m talking green green, like a washed out grass-green color. Red sweater and dirty sneakers in some gray-brownish color. Shoestrigs had turned gray of dirt over time too.

Then we had the guy he showed up in completely shapeless jeans that were so big for him that he had folded them up like 10-15 cm and an equally shapeless orange t-shirt and he smelled of old sweat.

Can’t say I was impressed.

[AvaOneLasTime]

Why is the man dating a cat?

[OlderAndWiser]

He didn’t know she looked like a cat because she had fake pictures posted on her profile.

[AvaOneLasTime]

:D :D

[zeitgeist057]

It's a joke because people post pictures of their pets in dating apps. So he is saying she looks like her profile pic (a cat).

[Wraith_Cemetery]

It's the very first thing I notice. I've always dressed to impress and take my clothing seriously. Therefore, I hold everyone to the same standard. People used to take pride in the way they looked so they dressed up wherever they went. As part of the vintage scene, we do the same thing. All the girls in the vintage scene wear dresses and skirts paired with blouses and nice shoes wherever they go. All of us lads, we wear suits, pressed trousers, button up shirts and hats etc.

It makes me embarrassed for the other person when I see two individuals on a date at a restaurant but only one of them showed up looking nice or putting effort into their outfit. For example, I've seen a guy dressed up in a classic outfit (trousers, buttoned shirt, shined shoes) and the girl showed up in yoga pants, sneakers, and a graphic tee shirt. Or I've seen the girl show up in a nice dress but the guy had vans, ball cap, and a sports jersey. Bloody ridiculous.

[Lliam]

I feel exactly the same way. I notice if she had the good sense dress appropriately for the venue. And if she made an effort to look nice, it tells me that she was excited about the date and wanted to make a good impression.

Her personal grooming and clothing choices can also be a sign of her taste and personality. Some styles would tell me that we are not a good match.

[OlderAndWiser]

Of course we agree!

[SaoirseS]

I've never done online dating, and I'm currently engaged to be married (in less than a month!). But when dating I definitely took notice of a guy who dressed either sharp, or inappropriate for an occasion. Most dates were pretty casual though. I once met a date for lunch at Bob Evans one time, and he showed up in a t-shirt with the words "Fuck (political candidate)" on the front in large letters. Talk about inappropriate, there were kids in there. I always appreciated a guy who liked (or at least didn't mind) dressing up, because:

[idkwhatsreal]

Definitely. whether or not it’s a fancy restaurant or bowing did they dress appropriately. I would say girls have it a little tougher depending on location and what not but it’s not hard to put a something together where you will look appropriate for the occasion and be attractive so if in your case if they show up looking ratchet af , and they didn’t just crash their bike down some stairs or something. I would “have an emergency“ after the first drink. Unless their personality wins me over in that time.

[Screenwriter]

Someone would have to show up in sweats or just come from a workout/be dirty, stinky, or wildly inappropriate for the situation: I'd opt for coffee for a first date. Or coffee and a walk if the weather's fine.

So casual would be appropriate: jeans, slacks, walking shoes, a good T-shirt, a polo. I expect clean and neat and in good repair in the clothing department. Nothing beat up or sloppy, or it does mean the person didn't put out any effort, or worse yet, that IS the level of effort they usually put out, if it's a fail.

Clothing gives you some idea of how the person takes care of themselves.

[Lionman95]

I think it has some importance because a style of a person says something about their personality. Because if she wears all black and is an emo she´s probably neither something for me as if she was looking barbie.
I don´t want to be rude but I think a choice of clothes also says at least something about a person´s character.
So it´s has some importance because it´s part of body communication.

[Jaximus-Lion]

It's either this or a suit. Even if it's for a coffee. It's not about first impression but i like to dress nice, it's more about discipline and that is important for me and me only. I always tell my dates what am wearing and if they decide to dress better or similar or what ever they like! It's all fine by me, i never pressure a date to anything

[TransAm85]

When I was dating, I paid attention to how a guy dressed. I was more into the little cholos or the style of jerseys/white t-shirts/beaters/baggy jeans/Air Force 1's/Jordan's. Now all guys dress like it's the 80's/early 90's w/spandex, flight pants and weird t-shirt! Where's the BK Knights? K Swiss?

[coolbreeze]

I always dress up for the first date. If a girl is not dress I won't hold it against her because depending on where the first date is at makes a difference on what to wear. Like a coffee date I wouldn't expect a girl to get dress up. Places like red lobster and fancy places like that. I would think a girl would try to get dressed up. I don't judge as long we connect and the date goes well that is more important to me.

[HighlyVolatile]

I'm in the E category but I never tried online dating so it was never a first impression sort of thing. I already know how she looks upfront.

Usually, I'm just looking for her to wear something comfortable since my first dates were always exhilarating (ex: rollercoasters). They weren't the types of dates suited for high heels and styled hair.

[HighlyVolatile]

Looks and acts, I should say. With the way I dated in person, the first impression was formed already. Dating was the second. If I ever tried online dating or any sort of blind date, then I would expect us to make the best impressions of each other, or else I'd think she wasn't putting in any effort.

[DanaeAdam5]

How someone chooses to dress for a first date (especially if you haven't met in real life before) is extremely important.



I'm not the kind of person who would ever demand for a date to spend money on their appearance for me, but I certainly want to know that who ever I'm going out with likes me and cares about my opinion enough to put some effort.

[artstatues]

I guess it depends on the context of the date; whether you're going for a classic dinner at a restaurant or for hiking

[OlderAndWiser]

What is "approprate" changes, but the importance of knowing how to dress appropriately for the date remains the same. For me.

[Phoenix98]

I guess it would depend on where your going and doing for the date. You know you dress for the occasion and location.

I mean I'm of the opinion that you should always dress nicely or at least decently even when being casual like a nice pair of shoes or boots, shirt and good pair of jeans is fine so long as it all comes together if that makes sense.

But at the same time I don't like someone who overdoes it then you look out of place.

[ChiTown33]

Is she all dressed in leather? Barring that it's not really relevant to me. I'm not highly judgmental. But I prefer a woman to be conservatively dressed. Showing A LOT of skin wins absolutely no points with me. And you're most likely to turn me off that way.

[Bluemax]

I suppose it would matter in the context of where we're going. My wife's and my first date was boating. She dressed appropriately for someone going boating. So did I.

[amyisme]

I think it depends on what your doing on a date dinner and dancing you kind of want to be good looking but not to formal if your going to a club you would dress one way if your going to a country bar for line dancing you would dress different

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think as long as they dress appropriately that is all matters to me now if a girl dresses in real tight clothing, low blouse, very short skirt or dress, etc... This makes me think twice to go out on a second date.

[Iron_Man]

I live in Florida people are dressing in shorts around here you know that

[OlderAndWiser]

That's South Florida. North Florida is a bit more formal/traditional, but not in a blueblood way.

[Iron_Man]

Oh ok

[OlderAndWiser]

I wear a white shirt, tie and blazer to most first dates. And it impresses most women.

[Iron_Man]

Oh wow

[OlderAndWiser]

Understand that I am an attorney, and I'm also president of a few organizations, and that is what women are expecting to se when they meet me.

[Iron_Man]

Right …,

[DollAlone]

The person should be clean, dressed to impress and not to trashy lookn

[Avicenna]

Unless she's totally inappropriately dressed, it's irrelevant to me. I'm focused on our conversations to get to know her better.

[Drumlin2001]

Generally it doesn't bother me. As long as it ain't a tracksuit, or obvious they have made no effort at all

[jasco]

I always take into account what someone wears even when not dating. It says a lot about their character. But their are other factors to so it’s not always a turn off