-please help me- What should I do?

[Anonymous]

So, I've been in a situationship for a few months now. Multiple times, we confessed our feelings for each other but somehow we cannot be exclusive. Since he is still kind of wounded from his past relationship I decided to give him some time before we make things exclusive. But I cannot stand it any longer, especially since what he said the other day. We went out to a party with our friends and he started shit about how cringey they were trying to get in someon's pants. I told him that he would do the same and he told me that he is not looking to get in anyone's pants. Later that day we met again and he asked me if I had called and met with someone I met at the party. Then he started to ask if I'm still seeing someone that I met at a party a few months ago. After his little investigation I told him that he would do much more than getting someone's number at a party and he told me that he would not do that because it would offend me. He is shaming me and calling me a slut for just making friends but then he goes on and says this. I am really confused and tired of this ongoing jealousy and really wears me out. But on the other hand I think we really have something special. I really do not know whether I should stop seeing him or not. Please give me some advice.

[Chris_Chambers0010]

You said that he was wounded from his last relationship (Was he cheated on?)
He may be testing you in a way to see if you're loyal before going any further. That's why he's pissed that you got some guy's number.
I think if you did date this guy you have to understand that he doesn't anyone anymore and you would have to deal with that jealousy and paranoia on his end.

[Chris_Chambers0010]

*Doesn't trust anyone.

[Asker]

He was not cheated on, his ex girlfriend was constantly gaslighting him into thinking that he does not love her.

I do not want him hooking up with other girls. I genuinely don't. The reason why I got someone else's number was in order to take my mind off of him. I would like to think that he is testing me and is not genuine because if he is so concerned with me being offended why would he say that he is not talking to other girls because I'm there? That remark is quite offensive as well I think.

I am genuinely tired of this I'm still seeing him because I genuinely believe that he loves me or at least deems me special. Do you think there is something I should say or do because I feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack.

[Chris_Chambers0010]

If he wasn't cheated on he sure seems to be acting paranoid. I don't understand why he hasn't talked to you about being exclusive yet if he's so worried. This is quite early on for you guys to be so frustrated with each other. You should be exclusive, in love and inseparable right now, but instead you're both miserable and not making any progress. You're either both scared to get involved, or you aren't right for each other. Either way you won't find out by beating around the bush. You either need to be together, or let go completely in my opinion.

[Asker]

thank you very much.

[Chris_Chambers0010]

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Oh dear … from experience I can tell you this much , TAKE A DEEP BREATH, TAKE SOME SPACE AWAY FROM THIS GUY AND REALLY THINK ABOUT PROCEEDING WIT THIS. I’m not saying this guy is the same exact way as the one I was involved with but there’s similarities here. BE CAREFUL before it gets out of hand and before it’s too late. I had to deal with mental , physical and emotional abuse. Unfortunately some of these guys care about their stupid EGO & control you and manipulate you that you think it’s real and it’s love whatever the case. Don’t be fooled , please take a step back and really think about this one. Don’t let a man take you for granted dear. Best wishes

[Asker]

thank you for your advice. I will take a step back and think about everything.

[Anonymous]

Well clearly the parameters of your current arrangement are not working for you so you either renegotiate the terms or you end the relationship.

[Truthatanycost]

This is toxic and ego driven... but so many people are attracted to toxic behavior.

[one1wild00]

Sounds like he is a jealous control freak, Proceed with extreme caution with your eyes wide open and the rose colored glasses off.

[Asker]

so you think I should proceed with this?

[one1wild00]

I'd step back and take a good hard look before you do. If you have a girlfriend get her opinion too.

[In_Trance]

You need to make a decision on whether you're going to stay in this relationship or move on.

[UpdateGloomyNights_]

Just waiting