How can below average looking men be happy staying single without ruining their mental health?

[Anonymous]

We all know that the ONLY thing that women care about in a man is his looks, specially his face, cause of evolution. (Symmetrical face, sharp jawline, etc)

So only attractive dudes can get women. So basically even if a below attractive man tries to date a below attractive woman, he would be rejected.

That's fine if that's science and that's justified, I have made peace with the whole biology and evolution thing, and it makes sense that some men are meant to be single for the rest of his life for things he can't change.

What do you suggest we do to make peace with that?
Any suggestions?

Much appreciated!

Thanks!

[Chris_7565]

I think people either keep trying to improve their attractiveness, or they just kind of give up and party the rest of their lives, or they throw themselves completely into their work and hobbies, friends, families etc. Occasionally they may meet other people who are in the same boat, who also share the same interests and maybe they even get a relationship out of it and have kids. Then their lives become about their kids.
Some people are hot and get all the sex and attention, and others are gonna have to follow a different path, but maybe they end up in deeper, more meaningful relationships because that relationship means more to them. The hot people who just jump from one person to the next can't understand what love even is. Easy come, easy go.
Some people are just average looking and need to be better in other ways to compensate, and some just can't overcome their challenges.
No matter what obstacles you face just remember that there's always people out there who have it harder. There's people with disabilities or health problems who struggle to just do basic things like brush their teeth or get dressed.
As long as you've got your health and are able bodied, there are probably a lot of options and ways you can improve your attractiveness and life if you set your mind to it. If not, just be thankful that you can get out of bed in the morning and you don't live in constant pain, or need surgeries, treatments or otherwise just to get one more day alive.

[Asker]

Thanks mate, I think I will improve my outlook on life by being more humble and having more gratitude to the things I already have instead of contemplating on the things I don't.

[Jamesshinobi]

im short, bald, and have a fat Irish head. I've never had a problem with girls. maybe because i habe a LOT of other things to offer. i dont think its your looks scaring the girls away.

[Asker]

Probably your face is symmetrical and good looking? That will explain your success with women. To them its just whether you have a good looking face or not. Height or physique doesn't matter much in the equation.

[Jamesshinobi]

i have a bulbous nose, a crooked smile, and small deep set eyes. i look like a villager from minecraft if he had raccoon eyes

[Anonymous]

You must have very low standards for what classifies as attractive, because I see average and below average looking men with girlfriends and wives all the time. This is obviously some bullshit you’re making up to feel better about not attracting females. It’s not about your looks, it’s about yoir personality and social skills. If you’ve got that you will be able to find a partner for sure. It may not be the hottest, cutest or most popular girls that many men are only interested in, but a partner never the less. There are burn or cancer victims with no fingers or nose just a gaping hole in the middle of the face, 600 lbs heavy men, dwarfs, men with no arms or legs and giant head and so on that still have girlfriends or wives. You can’t blame your looks.

[Asker]

I just a few moments ago saw a below average looking woman with a guy that looks like a movie star. So to even attract a below average looking woman I gotta have a face like a movie star? That's the one thing I can't change without surgery.

I have a good athletic physique, broad shoulders, I am financially stable too, and 6ft tall. These mean nothing, I have never seen a below average looking man with a woman.

By below average I mean asymmetrical face, and jawline (underbite etc)

[Anonymous]

“We all know”, lol you mean that’s what YOU’VE deducted in your mind as a single, not very lucky man. Sorry to break it to you but we aren’t all shallow drones, so don’t categorize the masses just because you’ve had negative experiences. This whole post just sounded bitter and resentful, and if that’s any indication of your personality then I am not surprised you’re single.

[Asker]

Don't you think it makes sense? The first thing a girl says when she sees a guy she likes is 'omg he is cute' - referring to his looks (i. e. face) and that's biology at play. I get that.

I want to find a way to deal with it in a healthy way. I know girls won't like me, I'm not mad, I just want to make peace with the fact that's all.

[Opinion Owner]

A defeatist perspective like that won’t get you anywhere. Sure if a girl sees an attractive guy she will think he’s cute, but guys do the same thing, so we’re all on equal grounds in the dating field. You’re not going to be ugly to every woman you meet, not everyone is shallow. But your personality is what shines too and yours just seems unpleasant. Being kind and approachable can go a long way, because there’s people in far worse positions that you who are in relationships.

[Asker]

Girls: Looks don't matter, we want PeRsoNaliTY!
Also Girls: Date's the best looking man there is who is also pretty abusive and doesn't even have a personality

perfect!

[Opinion Owner]

Your effort at being sarcastic just looks blatantly dense and highly ridiculous. No woman is staying with an abuser because he’s hot, so please scrape that off your plate. If you see a woman who you don’t think is very pretty with a guy you think is a stunner then maybe it’s her winning personality that got him, or maybe beauty is subjective and he finds her very attractive even if you don’t.

[Asker]

If we look at the real world, women LITERARY can find the best looking man she can due to a SIMPLE thing called the INTERNET!

Most women are taught to ignore a man's approaches UNLESS he is good looking.

So basically I can't meet women in the internet or I can't cold approach, and I have tried.

Do you realize how it feels to know that an entire subset of the population doesn't like you? That realization hits you like a pile of bricks.

I AM OK WITH THAT AND I"M GLAD THAT WOMEN CAN DATE GOOD LOOKING MEN, GREAT!

I just need to know what I gotta do to keep my mind sane so that I don't fall into depression and still enjoy my single life.

That's all

[Opinion Owner]

You live in your mind and abide by these warped dating rules that you’ve created in your mind and quite frankly, have made you bitter and mean over the years. Women can see that and it’s not a good look.

[Asker]

I would literary go insane if I kept on getting rejected countless times, and go into deep depression, so I can't keep believing in a lie that is "looks don't matter, personality is everything".

I mean I know women aren't aware of the mental health of men, cause we rarely talk about it, but yeah.

100+ rejections does stuff to you that you don't wanna endure.

[Opinion Owner]

Also, you can’t make a statement like the one you just made without roping men into that thought process. If you’re going by dating app availability (which is the only method of online dating I know of) then that gives everyone the opportunity to be shallow. You think guys don’t have those same standards? The definitely do, and for most it’s even worse than women. A lot of men judge by body too and not all of us are built like jlo or a kardashian.

[Opinion Owner]

Again, you’re basing this perspective solely off your experiences. You don’t speak for the masses and can’t judge every woman on this planet off of the ones you’ve had negative experiences with.

[Asker]

Where do I even meant this "not shallow" women?
I'm genuinely asking.

[Opinion Owner]

Literally anywhere. From an honest perspective with me also being non-shallow, I don’t have any friends who have these standards you mention. At one point I did but that was in high school and up to the age of 20 when I started meeting adults and people looking for genuine connections, because looks fade, we all know that. I’d pick a guy with a great personality over an asshole who feels entitled to my attention and presence just because he’s attractive, any day.

[Asker]

Yeah you admit that before 20 you were shallow. Great. Nowadays girls remain shallow till their mid 40s even, and they only date guys who look like movie stars and they won't settle for anything less, thanks to the attention they get from social media and online dating.

Even below average looking women have this standard, and they WILL NOT EVER settle for anything less that movie star level of looks from a guy.

Like I thought height was the factor, but I'm 6ft. Height doesn't matter as much as FACE. I realized that, and social media has DONE A TERRIFIC JOB of making women believe that they deserve only insanely attractive guys.

I die inside when I see a below average looking women with a good looking guy, cause even if I lower my standards I KNOW THAT EVEN the most unattractive women wouldn't pick me.

I workout 6 times a week, I have a good physique (broad shoulders, lean, abs etc) , ( I started working out to get attention from girls, but I fell in love with working out and I continue to do strength training as a habit) YET women ignore me cause I think they are conditioned to by social media. (never settle for less propaganda ig)

This is why I made up my mind in staying single. Should I go through another 100+ rejections and end up insane? I can't risk that. I want to live, with or without women.

[Opinion Owner]

Wrong, I said I knew people who were shallow up until I turned 20. I’ve never been shallow, and even now I’m my 30s, I don’t have friends or even know people with such ridiculous standards. You’ve painted your own picture as to how you perceive women, and I’m not here to change your mind or negate your experience. I’m just saying it’s a false narrative you are generalizing all women to abide by, and if you are choosing to live that way then I think it’s a fantastic idea to stay single. Nobody wants a mean grump.

[Asker]

Thanks mate, I appreciate your words, I really do.

I mean I know I'm not blessed with like a good looking face, so I just wonder what can I bring to the table, except for stability (money, house), good physique. Why would a woman want to even be with me if I don't got the face she wants?

That's the conundrum.

I will try a bit more since you said that they are less shallow women in this world, which I doubt, but you will never know ig.

But after about another 50+ rejections I will probably stop, there's so much you can take.

[Asker]

The other fear is that women will pretend that they like me and use me just for my money and probably end up cheating on me with a better looking guy.

If I actually end up in a relationship and if she is too good to be true I'm out, cause I know what's to come.

[Opinion Owner]

A big issue is the way you approach even the idea of dating. I get that you’ve had a lot of bad experiences, but if you go into a situation expecting for things to go wrong in some way then nothing will work. Whatever the downfalls were then try to avoid them next time at least initially. Like with money, I wouldn’t even make that an aspect in the first 2-3 months. Of course you can offer to take her on a date but make it clear that it can’t always be a thing even if you have to lie about it. Like if she asks to do something, say you’re a bit low on cash because of some Bill you just paid but if you could split costs. Try that like every other time. It may feel weird especially since you have it, but at this point you wanna be sure she’s dealing with you for the right reasons.

[Opinion Owner]

You should also work on you self esteem. With each exchange we’ve had, if it wasn’t something sarcastic it’s something depressing, and that’s no good. You don’t have to be ridiculously handsome but it would hurt to stop telling yourself you’re ugly. Even if you can’t do that you can at least be confident in your personality. I’ve dated men in the past who weren’t that handsome but had other traits that mattered, like making me laugh a lot, being consistent and genuine, not disappointing me and etc. I’d pick someone with those qualities any day, because good things don’t always come with a hot guy. From my experience they are cocky and I can never trust them because they’re the ones who cheat, won’t commit, and make every excuse not to be a proper partner.

[KrakenAttackin]

Anon... Wow, a bitter cat rancher rears her post-wall head.

[Opinion Owner]

Cat rancher huh? Lol that’s new.

[Agagagagaga]

Why don’t you two go get a room?

[Opinion Owner]

No need for jealousy🤗

[Ευδεμονια]

I think you’re generalising a bit too much, but there are truths in what you’re saying. I’m in a similar situation like you, I dated, I’ve been only rejected and suffered a lot in the past. Now I made peace with myself, by accepting the single life. I’ve friends with whom I’m happy and I do a lot of things, I also have hobbies and interests and I consider myself pretty average, not beautiful and not ugly, not the best but not the worse.
I decided with my heart to not dare anymore, in order to not harm myself, I prefer to not suffer anymore than being only rejected. This made my mind and I’m ok with being single now.
For being single it’s important to have support from friends and family and to have interests (travels, hobbies, sports..) that make your life full and worthy.

[Asker]

Mate I think you are the only one who truly understands my plight. Thanks.

Yes I think I will do more traveling (bikepacking), probably indulge in hobbies more (probably camping, improve my guitar skills, cooking) and learn new languages. And improve on my strength training.

I believe these things and having a goal in life will make me feel better.
I believe that we can live a fulfilling single life as average men.

Thanks!

[LovingLoverReturned]

1) A pet. Yes a pet. Even very handsome men choose pets over women lol 😆... good for mental health.

2) Happy while single: Also travel a bit. Appreciate the physical beauty of the world... take inspiration from Wim Hoff... yes Wim Hoff...

But i also tell you 2 things you don't wanna hear. I'll accept your anger.
1);Even a little stubble/ Facial hair can cover a weak jawline.. it is very natural... and I often find a man can look below average without one and become average with one.
2) You might even find a foriegn women Appreciate different type of appearances

[LovingLoverReturned]

Actually there was a study or a few.. things that are like a crooked smile and crooked nose... flaws can be especailly attractive to some people. Do research it.

Lol even in Japan a sizeable portion of them like crooked teeth

[PatriceONeal]

Women are going through a highly hypergamous phase that mathematically can't sustain itself. The best thing you can do is do your own thing, work on other strengths besides the one in the looks department. I. e. sense of humor, intelligence, stoicism in emotional strength, research politics, religion, do some traveling have new experiences. Whatever way your heart desires to grow as a person. As men age we increase in all categories. Women will always love older men and a new women are turning 18 every day.

It's just a phase and the ones losing this game are women and only women.

[crossdressingrihno]

Dude I wouldn't really call myself the most handsome guy on the planet and honestly I could still get myself a romantic partner of the female variety.

The issue isn't the static most of the time when it comes to guys it's actually their personalities and how they conduct themselves and they don't even realize it which is part of the reason why they have the issue in the first place.

[RealMarek]

Men can thrive by climbing competence hierarchies. Also, a path that used to be more common was asceticism, like being a monk or bachelor scholar. Monogamy was great because it allowed the vast majority of men to find a spouse. Now that monogamy is being discarded a lot of men will need to find other paths to contentment.

[Anonymous]

Nope, they love money too! And if you're tall.

But it's BETTER for your mental health, just stay single (has many benefits), far less drama in your life, be happy with your life in general and if you enjoy your own company, single can be the better life in my opinion.

[aliiiek]

Learn skills , earn money , spend it on your face , (product and surgery) , when u do that , and become valuable in dating pool , u have the power u can do what ever u want , u can date people , hookup , or go mgtow
That or get pet and enjoy yourself to incel community

[hhhffg7889]

You've never seen an ugly man happily married? Really? Suck it up and live life. Women care less about your looks when they're already turned off by a pouty attitude. Keep yourself clean. Dress nice. Maybe be well read and become interesting and fun to talk to. It'll work I think.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. You just havecto accept the single life. Judging by your post you're not there yet.
Then after you hit 35-40 women will start hitting the wall. And when guys stop asking them out they'll start asking guys out. But the guys either only go out with the to f***. Then these women will resort to asking you out. Then you can either date them, f*** them, and dump them. Or you can just reject them. Your time's coming man. Relax

[Anonymous]

do you think the life of an average man depends on women lol

?

are you retarded

but then again you believe we come from MONKEYS and not GOD
so you are not to bright

ohh and your feelings do not matter at all
so stop talking black pill

stop listening to wheat
he still thinks women are the deciders of sex

he is retarded

[genericname85]

well the first thing would be tos top making your entire character about the fact that you're ugly. just accept you're ugly and move on. find whatever it is that makes you happy.

[CloudMassacre]

Literally one lap around Walmart disproves your point, but to be happy alone I think therapy is needed. It’s helped me a lot

[Asker]

When I mean below average I mean a guy with an asymmetrical face, and not so attractive facial features. That's what women look for in a guy, cause that equates to good genes, its evolution. I get that.

[CloudMassacre]

Yeah, and I walked around Walmart and saw a diversity of couples with a range of attractiveness

[historectomy]

could not complain and just use what you have no one likes a crybaby

[Anonymous]

You extract the emotions from yourself then you have no worries about mental health

[Creampiekarl420]

Do work that puts your life at risk