Should girls who order more than one alcoholic drink on a restaurant date knowing the guy is paying raise red flags?

[LonelyHeartedSoul]

[HighValue]

Yeah. She is likely just using him for free stuff. If she expects you to pay she is selfish and feels entitled like the majority of women do.

$8 to $10 each and since many women just use you for free stuff you may be going out with another the same week. So just for a few drinks (I'm assuming you are drinking an equal amount as her) that would be $48 to $60 for both of you, then if you get something to eat too you are looking at around $100 for one date. Do that a couple times per week and you are looking at around $800 in a month.

Most women don't understand because THEY aren't the ones putting out all of that money. Before you even go on a date just tell her that for the first couple of dates at least each person will pay their own way. If she refuses, you will know that she was one of the user people looking for free stuff. That is how the majority are.

If you are looking for a good partner for a LTR, I'd recommend staying away from the type of people that go to bars and clubs anyways. They are usually not good moral people.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

If you're willfully spending 800 a month on dates, that probably says more about you than the women you're meeting with.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@SomeGuyCalledTom right!!

[ChrisMaster69]

Fuck me, this is type of thing you talk about before the date or when you go on one.

you are learning about each other, learning trust etc.

The idea going in to a date is to have planned or have an idea of the 2 nd date.

A lot of the time with friends we even keep the drinks bill separate to the meal bill.

Also, usually you have a drink before the meal sitting waiting for the table to be ready and then during the meal and maybe at the end of the meal.

3 Gin and tonics etc do not make an alcoholic or make her inebriated.

Also why do people always put money, costs on a date, poor people date and manage fine.

[KBird]

Honestly, I usually like splitting the check on a first date, and then alternating who pays for following dates (ex: Ill treat for the next dinner, and then he'll treat for the following). I don't know If he really insists on paying for the first date, then I will let him.

He can pay for the first round. If we decide to drink more, which is rarely the case for me on a first date, then Ill pay for my other drink (s) (especially if it's expensive).

I don't know I've dated guys that become offended if I offer to pay on the first date if I want to have another drink/desert/whatever. That's a red flag to me.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh Jesus Christ you people really need to get a clue...

I've bought drinks for strangers I wasn't even on a date with, both guys or gals (without expectations of sex) just because we were having a good time...

If you going to squabble about buying someone's dinner or drinks, or think that entitles you to sex, maybe just quit going on dates🙄

[VaasMontenegro]

So this what a woman looks like when you drink too much alcohol?

[LonelyHeartedSoul]

@VaasMontenegro Women clearly aren’t cheap as you can see by their replies.

[VaasMontenegro]

@lonelyheartedsoul That's nothing new. Better keep that money for yourself and invest it in hobbies than to spend in on women

[hIopinionated_]

That’s what they do, always expect sex and when a woman says “no”, THEN there’s a problem with spending money. It all goes back to sex. My ex did the same thing. Men like them are freaking pathetic OP

[LonelyHeartedSoul]

@hIopinionated_ I never expect sex when I go on dates. I just want to spend time with the other person and have a good time. Not every guy is like that.

[hIopinionated_]

@LonelyHeartedSoul Than honestly, that’s amazing. And that’s exactly what a date should be about, getting to know each other. Too bad many people lose sight of that. This whole date thing should be discussed before the date

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

If its really an issue for some guys, they could just say before the date they wanna split the bill. Its not how I handle dates, but it at least would set a realistic expectation up front. If he makes a show of being all "oh I'LL pay for everything" and then acts squeamish when she asks for a refill on a 175ml wine glass, he's basically pulling a bait and switch. It's just dishonest.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Sorry but I'm not buying drinks for a date that already offered sex, let alone buying any for strangers.

[OlderAndWiser]

To me, a girl who will get inebriated on a date with a guy she does not know well is trying to build up enough liquid courage to jump into bed with him. Or maybe give herself an excuse the next day if she regrets her decision.

[MikeInHawaii]

Yep! And if she knows she acts like a slut when she’s drunk, and gets drunk anyway, she’s a slut and alcohol is her excuse. But, not to worry. Many men also know this and will gladly pay for the sixth drink.

[jennifer_bloom]

Two cheap drinks or one moderate drink is okay but nothing expensive unless it’s a scheduled personality test for the guy or the girl is hard working and can bring money into the relationship that makes this worthwhile.

[MikeInHawaii]

Scheduled personality tests are a no, also.

[Thatgirlcvp]

@MikeInHawaii what is a scheduled personality test?

[MikeInHawaii]

@Thatgirlcvp I thinks it’s one of those hoops I’m supposed to jump through. I have zero patience with them.

[Bob92220]

Working in the mental health field, I can say with confidence most women feel entitled in today's world. But it really isn't their fault because society makes it this way.

So a woman's perspective and expectations on a date will be different than a man's perspective and expectations.

If you don't want to go out with someone who feels entitled, then meet that person at a coffee shop, or go to a non-alcoholic place. A person who feels entitled won't do that. They will call you cheap.

[Seinna]

I think 2 drinks of any kind is standard for a restaurant outing... that being said, when you know you're being treated, you should follow their lead. If they get another drink or a dessert, it's a cue that so can you. Also, stay within the price range they themselves use unless they say you can order whatever you want. Or if they ask if you'd like another one. I think 2 is standard and just because you're being treated doesn't mean you should be thirsty in a restaurant and one drink might not be enough for a dinner... on the other hand, men should only ask women out to restaurants they can afford, it shouldn't be breaking their bank. If it is then they should invite them somewhere else. Notice I use the word "invite" because when you invite someone, you pay for them.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

This is the way.

[Qdbrown]

In this modern age, dating with alcohol is dangerous on the first few dates. If anything happens, and she regrets it, you can be brought up on rape. There is no circumstance. Even if the girl is a raging alcoholic.

If you see her drinking a lot, and get the feeling the is a heavy or binge drinker, you might want to go really slow to see if she is out of control. you won't know until you see it.

My best advise is do what Tom Leykis said do on dates. Don't spend on them early on. Meet up, get some coffee, get a snack, but don't waste a lot of money on an unconfirmed woman. There are many who go on dates just to get the meal.

[Kaneki05]

You are the one choosing to pay smh. And to expect a person to buy one alcoholic drink is funny what would be the point in getting just one alcoholic drink? You might as well just buy coke and stay sober.
I don't understand people who would pay for alcohol but with not intension to get buzzed.
Anyway if your choosing to pay unless they order the most expensive wine in the restaurant they are just simply getting a drink they would normally have. But also it's on you if you didn't make such arrangements clear anyway. The other person is not psychic nor are you so it's not hard to have a 5min convo at the start about who's paying for what.

[Smashingdoozy]

Jesus Christ if paying for 2 drinks and a meal is too much for you to handle then discuss splitting the bill before. the. Fucking. date. xhsnjsjsvahajs you don't HAVE to pay for her. Your goal is to get to know each other, not show how much money you have.

[ChrisMaster69]

@Smashingdoozy yeah lol, I think people lose track of what dating is and think it’s just showing off dollars or thinking more about cash than the date.

The drinks thing here would result in a stabbing if you said a girl could only have one drink lol.

[MTC29]

I don't care how much she drinks.

European women, as well as British and Australian girls tend to be heavy drinkers- or compared to American women. it is a part of the pub culture. If a British gal wants to have two or three beers while playing darts (which I'm horrible at), that's expected.

By the way, never play pub games with any British woman. They are expert at all of them.

[DaveJord]

Well it depends how many are you drinking? She should not be drinking more than you. Or ordering them with out asking... thats a Red Flag.

But if your buy multiple drinks and its not a good date and you're not getting laid... then for sure its a Red Flag.

[EarthRealm]

Girls already know that
They Show off there body and let a dude buy the drinks there not unconscious to what’s going on.
They know they may be raped but they’re still Down for whatever the night may bring.
That’s why Rapist get away because if a Girl drinks alcohol the court knows that The girl drank alcohol and dressed up all sexy for the occasion it’s pretty much consenting. And the court can Make it seem like She consented even when she didn’t Actually say that she consents.
And drinking alcohol makes the court believe that She consented and with more Things learned in the court like the girl dressed up sexy was coming onto the man playing with his hair and laughing
The court would believe the rapist because they done Talked too people that saw the Flirting at the Bar and Looked at the cameras and that would be enough evidence.

[MikeInHawaii]

Yes! Also, I don’t care if they order huge portions if they can eat it. I went out with an aerobics instructor once. She weighed about 110 lbs. and ate like a Clydesdale. If she orders the most expensive thing on the menu and take three bites out of it, she will spend her future husband’s money like he’s Warren Buffet.

[TrueConfection]

If I were having a second drink on a date, it would mean I'm having a great time and feel relaxed enough with him that I can lower my gaurd a bit. Is that a red flag? I wouldn't be thinking he is adding up the dollars and cents of my 2 drinks.

[Thatgirlcvp]

It would be a red flag to me to see him drinking more than one drink. I'm religious so I prefer to never drink. I could have a small amount of something, but not a full drink just cause I'm uninterested in it. I would buy him a drink if he's cool with me paying. It would be weird if he keeps insisting I drink with him even after I refused. I would be thinking, "What is wrong with this guy?" But wouldn't drink on a first date.

[hIopinionated_]

The real question is, who asked out who? The person who did the asking out wanted the other person’s company so why not treat them and why expect them to accommodate to your lack of money?


Either let the person know you aren’t paying when you ask them out or just enjoy the freaking date

[jshm2]

Nah, I don't drink, but one of my old girlfriends drank for both of us.

I did sometimes get asked if I was getting her drunk to roofy her in the alley. To which I would reply, "nah, thats just her wetting her throat, before getting something to eat." pun was usually intended.

[laurieluvsit]

If she knows the guy is on a limited budget, then yes, for that reason.

If she is doing it to get herself inebriated beyond a reasonable level, then yes again.

If neither of those 2 apply, then no, all is well, enjoy :)

[laurieluvsit]

www.caesars.com/.../image.jpg

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

A guy who offers to pay for the date and then gets stingy on drinks is the real red flag. Just think, if it turns out the woman sitting across from you could be your future wife and soul mate, would you really look back on that date after 30 years of marriage together and wish you'd enforced a one-drink maximum?

[Moose304]

This question is tough for me to answer because I treat 1st dates much differently than I do a 2+ date. I don't buy alcoholic drinks on a 1st date. My first dates are ALWAYS a hotdog and a coke in a VERY casual get-to-know-you setting. So by the time I am buying a drink, I already know the lady and am comfortable doing so. At 64 I rarely do first dates anymore. The ladies I see I have known for years.

[FinalFantasyBro]

No offense but I ain't interested in women who expect me to pay for everything, if she expects me to be her personal bank than that's cool that means this isn't a great relationship from the get go or we both be better off with different people because I ain't being no person personal bank.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yes, but also any girl that drinks any amount of alcohol is a huge red flag to me. Be it for friendship, or dating, I'm just not going to get along with her, and I'm not buying alcohol for anyone.