Should girls who order more than one alcoholic drink on a restaurant date knowing the guy is paying raise red flags?

Question

HighValue · Accepted Answer

Yeah. She is likely just using him for free stuff. If she expects you to pay she is selfish and feels entitled like the majority of women do.

$8 to $10 each and since many women just use you for free stuff you may be going out with another the same week. So just for a few drinks (I'm assuming you are drinking an equal amount as her) that would be $48 to $60 for both of you, then if you get something to eat too you are looking at around $100 for one date. Do that a couple times per week and you are looking at around $800 in a month.

Most women don't understand because THEY aren't the ones putting out all of that money. Before you even go on a date just tell her that for the first couple of dates at least each person will pay their own way. If she refuses, you will know that she was one of the user people looking for free stuff. That is how the majority are.

If you are looking for a good partner for a LTR, I'd recommend staying away from the type of people that go to bars and clubs anyways. They are usually not good moral people.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

Fuck me, this is type of thing you talk about before the date or when you go on one.

you are learning about each other, learning trust etc.

The idea going in to a date is to have planned or have an idea of the 2 nd date.

A lot of the time with friends we even keep the drinks bill separate to the meal bill.

Also, usually you have a drink before the meal sitting waiting for the table to be ready and then during the meal and maybe at the end of the meal.

3 Gin and tonics etc do not make an alcoholic or make her inebriated.

Also why do people always put money, costs on a date, poor people date and manage fine.

KBird · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I usually like splitting the check on a first date, and then alternating who pays for following dates (ex: Ill treat for the next dinner, and then he'll treat for the following). I don't know If he really insists on paying for the first date, then I will let him.

He can pay for the first round. If we decide to drink more, which is rarely the case for me on a first date, then Ill pay for my other drink (s) (especially if it's expensive).

I don't know I've dated guys that become offended if I offer to pay on the first date if I want to have another drink/desert/whatever. That's a red flag to me.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Oh Jesus Christ you people really need to get a clue...

I've bought drinks for strangers I wasn't even on a date with, both guys or gals (without expectations of sex) just because we were having a good time...

If you going to squabble about buying someone's dinner or drinks, or think that entitles you to sex, maybe just quit going on dates🙄

OlderAndWiser · Answer

To me, a girl who will get inebriated on a date with a guy she does not know well is trying to build up enough liquid courage to jump into bed with him. Or maybe give herself an excuse the next day if she regrets her decision.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Two cheap drinks or one moderate drink is okay but nothing expensive unless it’s a scheduled personality test for the guy or the girl is hard working and can bring money into the relationship that makes this worthwhile.

Bob92220 · Answer

Working in the mental health field, I can say with confidence most women feel entitled in today's world. But it really isn't their fault because society makes it this way.

So a woman's perspective and expectations on a date will be different than a man's perspective and expectations.

If you don't want to go out with someone who feels entitled, then meet that person at a coffee shop, or go to a non-alcoholic place. A person who feels entitled won't do that. They will call you cheap.

Seinna · Answer

I think 2 drinks of any kind is standard for a restaurant outing... that being said, when you know you're being treated, you should follow their lead. If they get another drink or a dessert, it's a cue that so can you. Also, stay within the price range they themselves use unless they say you can order whatever you want. Or if they ask if you'd like another one. I think 2 is standard and just because you're being treated doesn't mean you should be thirsty in a restaurant and one drink might not be enough for a dinner... on the other hand, men should only ask women out to restaurants they can afford, it shouldn't be breaking their bank. If it is then they should invite them somewhere else. Notice I use the word "invite" because when you invite someone, you pay for them.

Qdbrown · Answer

In this modern age, dating with alcohol is dangerous on the first few dates. If anything happens, and she regrets it, you can be brought up on rape. There is no circumstance. Even if the girl is a raging alcoholic.

If you see her drinking a lot, and get the feeling the is a heavy or binge drinker, you might want to go really slow to see if she is out of control. you won't know until you see it.

My best advise is do what Tom Leykis said do on dates. Don't spend on them early on. Meet up, get some coffee, get a snack, but don't waste a lot of money on an unconfirmed woman. There are many who go on dates just to get the meal.

Kaneki05 · Answer

You are the one choosing to pay smh. And to expect a person to buy one alcoholic drink is funny what would be the point in getting just one alcoholic drink? You might as well just buy coke and stay sober.
I don't understand people who would pay for alcohol but with not intension to get buzzed.
Anyway if your choosing to pay unless they order the most expensive wine in the restaurant they are just simply getting a drink they would normally have. But also it's on you if you didn't make such arrangements clear anyway. The other person is not psychic nor are you so it's not hard to have a 5min convo at the start about who's paying for what.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Jesus Christ if paying for 2 drinks and a meal is too much for you to handle then discuss splitting the bill before. the. Fucking. date. xhsnjsjsvahajs you don't HAVE to pay for her. Your goal is to get to know each other, not show how much money you have.

MTC29 · Answer

I don't care how much she drinks.

European women, as well as British and Australian girls tend to be heavy drinkers- or compared to American women. it is a part of the pub culture. If a British gal wants to have two or three beers while playing darts (which I'm horrible at), that's expected.

By the way, never play pub games with any British woman. They are expert at all of them.

DaveJord · Answer

Well it depends how many are you drinking? She should not be drinking more than you. Or ordering them with out asking... thats a Red Flag.

But if your buy multiple drinks and its not a good date and you're not getting laid... then for sure its a Red Flag.

EarthRealm · Answer

Girls already know that
They Show off there body and let a dude buy the drinks there not unconscious to what’s going on.
They know they may be raped but they’re still Down for whatever the night may bring.
That’s why Rapist get away because if a Girl drinks alcohol the court knows that The girl drank alcohol and dressed up all sexy for the occasion it’s pretty much consenting. And the court can Make it seem like She consented even when she didn’t Actually say that she consents.
And drinking alcohol makes the court believe that She consented and with more Things learned in the court like the girl dressed up sexy was coming onto the man playing with his hair and laughing
The court would believe the rapist because they done Talked too people that saw the Flirting at the Bar and Looked at the cameras and that would be enough evidence.

MikeInHawaii · Answer

Yes! Also, I don’t care if they order huge portions if they can eat it. I went out with an aerobics instructor once. She weighed about 110 lbs. and ate like a Clydesdale. If she orders the most expensive thing on the menu and take three bites out of it, she will spend her future husband’s money like he’s Warren Buffet.

TrueConfection · Answer

If I were having a second drink on a date, it would mean I'm having a great time and feel relaxed enough with him that I can lower my gaurd a bit. Is that a red flag? I wouldn't be thinking he is adding up the dollars and cents of my 2 drinks.

Thatgirlcvp · Answer

It would be a red flag to me to see him drinking more than one drink. I'm religious so I prefer to never drink. I could have a small amount of something, but not a full drink just cause I'm uninterested in it. I would buy him a drink if he's cool with me paying. It would be weird if he keeps insisting I drink with him even after I refused. I would be thinking, "What is wrong with this guy?" But wouldn't drink on a first date.

hIopinionated_ · Answer

The real question is, who asked out who? The person who did the asking out wanted the other person’s company so why not treat them and why expect them to accommodate to your lack of money?

Either let the person know you aren’t paying when you ask them out or just enjoy the freaking date

jshm2 · Answer

Nah, I don't drink, but one of my old girlfriends drank for both of us.

I did sometimes get asked if I was getting her drunk to roofy her in the alley. To which I would reply, "nah, thats just her wetting her throat, before getting something to eat." pun was usually intended.

laurieluvsit · Answer

If she knows the guy is on a limited budget, then yes, for that reason.

If she is doing it to get herself inebriated beyond a reasonable level, then yes again.

If neither of those 2 apply, then no, all is well, enjoy :)

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

A guy who offers to pay for the date and then gets stingy on drinks is the real red flag. Just think, if it turns out the woman sitting across from you could be your future wife and soul mate, would you really look back on that date after 30 years of marriage together and wish you'd enforced a one-drink maximum?

Moose304 · Answer

This question is tough for me to answer because I treat 1st dates much differently than I do a 2+ date. I don't buy alcoholic drinks on a 1st date. My first dates are ALWAYS a hotdog and a coke in a VERY casual get-to-know-you setting. So by the time I am buying a drink, I already know the lady and am comfortable doing so. At 64 I rarely do first dates anymore. The ladies I see I have known for years.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Damn, I would hope I get more than one drink on a date. 🍸

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Yes, but also any girl that drinks any amount of alcohol is a huge red flag to me. Be it for friendship, or dating, I'm just not going to get along with her, and I'm not buying alcohol for anyone.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

No offense but I ain't interested in women who expect me to pay for everything, if she expects me to be her personal bank than that's cool that means this isn't a great relationship from the get go or we both be better off with different people because I ain't being no person personal bank.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Lol, no.

Don't take women out if you're cheap. Or discuss your budget before hand. Or, go Dutch and she'll buy herself as many drinks as she wants.

Given your question, I totally understand why she needed more than one drink to tolerate you.

trumpets310 · Answer

I think the guideline is that it's normal as long as both people are having a similar number of drinks. If he orders one beer and she keeps ordering drinks, that's odd. But if they're both going for round 2+, no problems there

Bratsondanielle · Answer

Lol yes. Alcoholics and alcohol is something to stay far away from

Anonymous · Answer

If it's a first date, if she doesn't offer to pay half the bill that's a huge red flag to me. No woman today should expect the man to pay for her share of the date. If she doesn't offer to pay half and she orders two drinks, that's an even bigger red flag. She won't be getting a second date.

Autember · Answer

I never expect someone to pay for me. I'll buy whatever I want and if that's an issue then I'll pay for myself. I'm not limiting myself just bc you're on a budget🤷‍♀️

mrdimples78 · Answer

It depends. How many is "more than one"? And can she handle them? Myself I'd be more suspicious of a girl who handles 5 drinks well than one who handles 1 poorly...

annabananna · Answer

If she gets drunk in a first date it could be a red flag but two glasses of wine are usually fine.

hahahmm · Answer

This is like asking, "So I'm on my boat at sea and some pirates came along. I offered them booze & they took a lot. Is this strange?"

Anonymous · Answer

ROFL. I don't drink. But I look at this question simply

Dimbos who think more than one glass or bottle is okay... should drink till they're falling over. That way the guy knows your real personality & that you're a waste of time.

Bee-Hatch · Answer

It's 2022, not 1922. Only gold diggers expect a man to pay. If you respect a woman you'll let her pay her way.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

You should be more concerned about her alcoholism than her gold diggerism in that case.

katiesmuff · Answer

I don't think two to three drinks during a couple hour dinner date is unusual at all. In fact that would be pretty normal from my experience.

bean2k21 · Answer

I always thought drinking more than one mixed drink meant "Green light on the sex tonight." Maybe I'm old-fashioned.

alice55 · Answer

I don't understand the question what do you mean?

Adam1978 · Answer

It depends on the length of the date right, you can expect her to have as many as you.

Kabluie · Answer

It's likely I'm having another too, and in this world it's not a guy that pays for everything.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Maybe he wants her to drink knowing drunk girls get a little loose.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

See the answers the women are giving? They clearly don't care that and are definitely out of touch with a mature approach

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Making a girl drunk is some kind of investment :D Where's the problem?

Sarahplus2 · Answer

Alcohol on a first date should be avoided unless eating or you are in a bar.

RuthlessAggression · Answer

That's why he should set a limit. If she knows how much she's allowed to drink, on your dollar, she'll try and respect that, and you, more

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not going to bars yet. I kno that if a girl. does that she probably wants to just have fun though.

Anonymous · Answer

2 maybe, 3 max. If she wants more, then should pay for them herself. And depending on the drink I guess as some are really expensive lol

John_Doesnt · Answer

No, if she's getting drunk then maybe her panties are getting wet.

iSlipKnot · Answer

I think it's weird to take from someone and not expect to give anything in return. It's naive and unthinking to not expect reciprocation.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Girls who drink alcohol in general should raise red flags.

Juxtapose · Answer

You won't catch me paying for some stranger's meal unless they earn my admiration.

Anonymous · Answer

No because I'm getting half-cut for my nerves but they order a bottle of Dom perignon or Cristal then they can pay for it

Waldoe · Answer

not a red flag, she wants to "Loosen up" for sex later

EaterPeter · Answer

Flag. If she raises another flag on full mast in your trousers would you still care?

OddBeMe · Answer

No…. I’d say for politeness, offer to pay for your drinks. He’ll prob be chivlarous, still.

maximumpower · Answer

That's a poorly-worded question, but if I understand it correctly - yes.

VaasMontenegro · Answer

Wahmen are acting of course all innocent now in the comments but they always expect the man to pay for her shit #CertifiedWomanMoment

Anonymous · Answer

Girls should pre drink before they come on dates. That will save a lot of problems

NathanDavis · Answer

it's a sign that you're cheap AF... lol

exitseven · Answer

It means she likes to have fun.

Ninania · Answer

How does she know that he's paying? Did he offer?

tiajoka · Answer

Nah, he's choosing to buy the drinks

Shy_Steve · Answer

I reckon 2 is okay but 3 is a bit much.

Should girls who order more than one alcoholic drink on a restaurant date knowing the guy is paying raise red flags?

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