Why do I have to beg for a complement from my boyfriend?

Question

a whole year me and my boyfriend have been together for and it’s only been the last 5 months i’ve thought to myself “why has he never said im pretty or never called me hot” i’ve honestly had that many break downs over this topic and im now very very insecure, if i see him look at another girl i won’t talk to him for hours, and i will hold all this anger and upsetting ness feelings in” why do i have to beg for a complement?

loveslongnails · Accepted Answer

For the record, you mean "compliment", not complement, but since we're on the subject... ‘Compliment’ with an ‘i’ is used when saying something nice about someone. ‘Complement’ with an ‘e’ is used when something enhances or completes something else.

It seems that you don't get compliments because he doesn't view you as complementary! Some guys are terrible when it comes to giving a compliment, although any guy seems to know how to say "you look hot" or "you look good". But the real question is how does he treat you at all other times?

If you're having breakdowns over this, that's not a good thing on your end no matter what else is going on. Why? Because even if he DID compliment you often, I'd bet my mortgage that when you'd see him look at another girl, let alone talk to one, you'd still freak out and get angry. That's because you're insecure, and no amount of compliments will cure that or satisfy you.

But understand me - that's a separate issue to his lack of saying some nice things to you, whether it's about your appearance, or just you in general. It sounds like you're unhappy in the relationship and should consider he might not be the right guy for you. Even if you arrive at that conclusion, you still have to address your own personal insecurities, and the affect they have on any relationships you get into in the future. By address, I mean resolve and fix!

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

I would say it's because you have the wrong boyfreind. But if you're having break downs over it and that insecure then there's probably other issues at play. I have tried to date highly insecure women in the past and it never works out. They never truly realize how they project thier insecurity on to other people. It's not that they do it on propose, they can't really control it... but its hard to love someone who doesn't really live themselves. I've tried and failed.

Over time if they don't get ahold of their insecurities and learn to deal wroth them in a productive way, they become paranoid and overly self conscious and then they project on to others. Like here you ask why you're not friend doesn't do more, but I'd that really the issue?

Happylu87 · Accepted Answer

Oh sweetheart your relationship is so new you shouldn't be feeling this way. I am married to a man who is not romantic putting it lightly and we have been together 14 years and lived with each other 12. So you have some insecurities from what I have read so first thing is to ask yourself why? Is it trust issues? Have you been hurt in the past? Do you not feel great about yourself? Ok so now that you know that you need to talk to him and I mean talk no yelling no freaking out. You talk he listens he talks you listens no speaking when the other person is talking. Now you need to come to a compromise give and take if you will. You will end up pushing him away and I'm not sure you want that. Honestly I really think you need to work on yourself sweetheart

ZS007 · Accepted Answer

communication is key to a healthy relationship. you have to tell him what you don't like from the things he does and so does he. If nothing changes maybe he is not the one. If he makes you more sad than happy and keep you worried all the time again maybe he is not the one.

Pinay_ako · Answer

5 months and no proper open and honest communication… that’s the problem. Maybe he’s feeling the same way. When was the last time you gave him a compliment?

Jacobbbb · Answer

I mean it seems like he should be doing more honestly. He doesn't sound like the type to give any sort of validation or compliment and the fact that he hasn't picked up on how shitty you feel and it's been a year? That doesn't really sound like a healthy relationship but that's just me. Everyone deserves compliments, even more so from your romantic partner. It's proof that the person means something to them

FreedMan · Answer

To add to the gentlemen here, I'd like to point out that some men express affection differently than others. We're not robots. I don't typically compliment a woman I'm with on physical characteristics in a verbal way. My appreciation for her looks usually comes in the form of a slap on the rump on my way walking by. A pinch here and there in the right spots. Bear hugging her off the ground when I get home. And um... other stuff that's between her and I lol. From your description it sounds like you're not very secure in yourself. That's something that only you have control over. Your reaction (the anger and depression) is your choice. Try sitting down and having a conversation. Don't use euphemisms or abstract methods to describe what you're feeling. Use plain English and see how far you get.

Anonymous · Answer

Well if your begging for a compliment it’s usually never genuine. Two he may be like a lot of men, a lot of us aren’t like that. We never really got compliments growing up. Things we do in life most times are necessary like work so I don’t need compliments just like most men. It’s life that’s how we see it. We don’t value compliments the way women do. I don’t get mad or upset cause my girlfriend didn’t notice my new haircut. Trust me you may have to go through a lot more men to find that one who’s always giving compliments, that may be a hard thing.

MrJMM · Answer

Well it really depends on multiple factions. Like do you compliment him, how strong is your relationship, is it only based on having sex, are you guys serious about dating, did you guys express any emotions or whatnot to each other, etc. Besides, you're both nineteen maybe he doesn't understand what's like to actually have a good relationship with someone and what to do. Maybe he has issues he needs to deal with? I cannot answer questions I don't your story, his, the entire situation, and other details. But if you can guys make effort with each other this can be a nice and healthy relationship if you both commit to it.

Adam1978 · Answer

You really need some self reflection, why do put so much value on others opinions? Your self worth should come from you. Not them. Aslong as he treats you as a girlfriend he shouldn't need to butter you down. Because you might simply not be a looker in his eyes. A complement is earned, if it's given out for free to anyone it's worthless.

dustybiker · Answer

You don’t own him. The tighter the hold the less he will like you. Nobody wants to be controlled. We love people we trust. To get it we must give it. Simple.

If it’s not retuned he’s not the man for you. Keep in mind regardless. You are only 19.

ohsheeT · Answer

That's the whole thing do not big that didn't see you new refreshed each and every single day and he'll be going what the hell is going on with her make him think about it make him want to say it don't beg him don't beg any guy for anything if a guy cannot find it in his heart because he likes you he loves you to say something beautiful about you and fuck him make yourself look so good that other guys start saying it. He will get the hint

DoctorSex · Answer

A man standing beside you is the ultimate compliment. To give you the title of partner should never be taken for granted ladies. Not all men speak with their mouths, others speak with their actions. Does he take you out, does he remember to celebrate your birthday and other special occasions with you. This all says I value you and you are beautiful to me. However I do believe he could be a bit more sensitive.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

HonestAssholeJ · Answer

You should be asking yourself instead why do you need the reinceforcement?

A failure most woman have is projecting their insecurities towards their man.

Your generation is not good socially. The Boys were raised less old school and the Girls are still tied to princess/fantasy niche.

Kreneman · Answer

When it comes to us men complementing a woman, that is clearly "Emotional affection " and at time (Most of the time in my opinion) men doesn't know how to complement, Don't care because of Pride, Suck at it, and Lacking. Talking to him and understanding on how his mind operates is key because those issues that I mentioned may exist in him, if he is willing to change and improve then that shows that he values your feelings but if not, then he is not your type.

VikingWarLord · Answer

You're not as hot as you thought you were.

It's always a LOOKS issue with dudes, just being real.

Send me a DM with your best pic (dolled up, makeup on, etc..). 99% sure that it's your looks. Are you overweight or obese, small tiits, no azz, average face and don't wear makeup, etc?

HighValue · Answer

1. That is an immature reaction to it by not talking to him.  2. Do you give him compliments?  3. Often, the people that compliment their mate all the time cheat and do it to throw off suspicion.

Beowulf_ · Answer

Now, this is why i’m single. What’s up with this kinda childish crap? Guys don’t be wondering ‘why hasn’t she tell me whatever the hell they think we would like to hear” we just go day by day and not wondering what i should say today to make her feel secure.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Maybe he is only interested in sex and not so much about your feelings. Where did you meet this dud? Next time he wants sex tell him to go play with his pud instead.

Guy13 · Answer

Your age? Too young to know better or to think comment, flowers, touch and straight into your eyes is important

Mess96 · Answer

You shouldn’t be with him. Something is up and you need to let him go. Especially after being with him that long and he doesn’t? That’s bad.

Finchie40 · Answer

Because you are in a relationship with the wrong person

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Have you tried telling him that you like to be complimented? Men don't value compliments the way women do.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

You don’t. Leave him and find someone who compliments you to your satisfaction.

Sarahplus2 · Answer

Breakdown in the communication. He is probably taking you for granted.

Browneye57 · Answer

You're not ready for dating. PERIOD.  And no, the whole world does not center around you either.

AsaKyo · Answer

Just break up with him and be with someone who will compliment you

RealDaveThomas · Answer

If he didn't think you were hot, he wouldn't be with you. Why do you literally need to hear it

pizzalovershouse · Answer

Cuz he isn't smart enough to realise he should put the time into it

Iron_Man · Answer

You shouldn’t have to do that it should come natural

KrakenAttackin · Answer

The real issue is, why do you need to be complimented so much?

Twalli · Answer

Ask him to compliment you more. My girlfriend asked me to say "I love you" to her more often.

Anonymous · Answer

So would you feel better if he rubbed your tummy and told "who's a good girl"?

WhitneySnow · Answer

Talk to him about this!

KelleyNice · Answer

Seek therapy, people on GAG can't help you.

Rose_84 · Answer

You're the side chick. Nothing else.

ElementoP · Answer

You sound awful, poor guy

EarthRealm · Answer

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wise4myage · Answer

Try to have more respect for yourself.

maximumpower · Answer

If you need to hear it more, find another guy.

QuietRunner · Answer

lave him if he doesn't treat you well

Anonymous · Answer

he thinks you have a pretty mouth

TheFlak38 · Answer

Cry a river.

ZenJen444 · Answer

He's not into you.

Jouth · Answer

pretty

Jackson619 · Answer

How do you look

Why do I have to beg for a complement from my boyfriend?

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