Pretend I’m someone you know who has just asked you if you want to see a movie & you don’t like me “like that” how do you respond? ?

[VIVANT]

Try to keep it realistic. Not how you think you should respond or how you wish you would respond but how you really would respond. And of course not everyone is going to think being asked to see a movie “means” anything so even if you’re not into me you can still say yes. But many people will see it as a date proposition and feel the need to deal with it accordingly, so how do you respond?

Im not trying to gauge Anyones feelings i am interested in how people handle friendly potential romantic interest, when they are not the ones interested.

GO!!

Internet pic.

I assume it’s meant as a date & and I say sorry I don’t want to date you.

I play dumb and pretend I do not understand.

I say ok, as friends.

I tell you I’m seeing someone (whether true or not).

I ask what you are looking for.

I say ok then avoid you.

I say no.

[Lliam]

I'll assume that I had no romantic interest in her but was aware that she was trying to get my interest.

IF we were friends, IF I was single, and IF the movie sounded good, I'd still probably say "Sure, I've been thinking about going to see that", essentially saying that I'll go because I want to see the movie.

It's fun to go to the movies with someone and discuss it later. It doesn't matter if it's a male or female friend.

I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings by saying "No thanks", and I wouldn't insult her intelligence by making an excuse unless I really didn't like her at all or want to be seen with her.

My behavior at the movie would make it obvious that I didn't view her romantically. We would each pay our own way. We could have fun and talk and laugh, but I wouldn't lead her on by holding her hand or putting my arm around her. Basically, no touching.

Could my behavior be described as passive aggressive in the sense of sending her a negative message without being up front?

The only other thing I could do if she pressed would be to say "I'm sorry, _______, I like you but you're just not my type." I had to say something like that to a lady at work one time. She accepted it well.

But, honestly, if I was single and horny, and she really wanted to do something sexual, I might consider it as a one-time, mutually beneficial thing. I've made out with girls under those exact circumstances. I even let one give me a BJ because she wanted to.

[VIVANT]

Yup that’s how I’d handle it as well 👍🏼

[WindAtMyBack]

It's a hypothetical question with a lot of hypothetical factors. However, I suppose the most direct answer is "I don't know".

If it's not directly said that it's a date, then I can only guess if it's meant that way or not. If this is someone I know, I might have some idea if they mean it as a date, but I doubt if I would have high confidence one way or the other.

A lot depends on my mood. I would not respond consistently even if the circumstances were exactly the same.

I think it's unlikely that I would absolutely not like someone "like that". The most likely scenario is that I'd give it a try and see where it went. If I already knew this person, and knew for sure I was not interested in a relationship, most likely I would have already dealt with it before it got to this point.

For much of my life I didn't believe in white lies. Now I do. I'm not against lying when telling the truth serves no purpose and only hurts the person. I'm not saying that's what I'd do, but I'm not against telling a white lie.

[VIVANT]

I think lying in this case is fine as long as it conveys the right message. If dontobe isn’t sure they can say something that expresses uncertainty if they know they are not interested I think it’s ok to say I’ll be moving to Antarctica 😂 or I have a partner etc etc. I don’t think being direct mean you have to say I find you annoying -or whatever. Just be clear about the situation as far as it’s not gonna happen. I agree white lies are ok I just think it’s important to be clear about the result 😊

The problem is saying stuff like oh you’re amazing I’d LOVE to go I just broke my foot 😩 or, conversely, I hate you you’re annoying I can’t stand the sight of you Absolutely NOT!!

[WindAtMyBack]

It's the results that count. Ideally it gets the point across without hurting them (or hurting them the least possible).

I think the worst kind of lie in this situation are lies that lead them on. "I'm sorry, I'm busy that day. Maybe some other time." How many times are they going to say that? Some people don't get a hint (and I don't always blame them when the person won't say what they mean.). Then the person telling the lie gets frustrated because the other person won't take a hint. It just creates a big mess.

At least make the message clear even if the reason is a lie.

So is this about the guy who was supposed to show up after swimming? Is he being a no-show?

[VIVANT]

I agree 💯

No definitely not about him lol I meant it completely he can come whenever or not at all and at the last time I wasn’t their either bc my curbs abs to go to the e r

I ran into the guy later and we sort of clear things up in a sense lol

[WindAtMyBack]

"my curbs abs to go to the e r"

Translation? lol

The ER like emergency room?

[VIVANT]

Lol sorry. My friend had to go to the e r

I’ll dm you what happened with the guy after that. I think I explained it somewhere but have to find it 😊

[WindAtMyBack]

OK. I'm getting ready to log out, but I'll probably be back later. So DM away and I'll read it when I read it.

[VIVANT]

I will do it later too when I get home. 😊😊

[Smashingdoozy]

If I'm suspicious of them intending it to be a date. I would probably say something like "sure, is it just going to be us or should we get a group together, maybe go out for drinks after?" And if they say they were hoping just for us I would be honest and says something like "Id love to but I have to be honest and say that I don't want to lead you on or anything, I'm not ready for anything more than friends right now, but I'm totally down to just hang out."

[TonyMetal___86]

What a respectful smashin dooz 😄

[VIVANT]

Very nice smashing 😊😊

[DizzyDesii]

“Sure lets bring some friends along to make it less awkward”. I personally don’t turn down going to see movies I want to see. So if i’m not into the person, i’m going to suggest we watch it with a group so that they understand that i dont want to be alone with them

[VIVANT]

Very good Dessi 😌😊

[OlderAndWiser]

I would say, "I'd love to but I already have plans with my girlfriend that night. Perhaps another time?"

[VIVANT]

Ohh smooth! 👍🏼

[OlderAndWiser]

You know me! :) :) :)

[VIVANT]

Lol yeah but so clever 👏🏼

[TheSpaceGnome]

"Try to keep it realistic. Not how you think you should respond or how you wish you would respond but how you really would respond"

Ok, I'd ask what the movie was, and if it was something I wanted to see but hadn't seen, I'd watch it in my own home or at her house, because movie theater food and ticket prices are absurd, but if she offered to pay, I'd go and thank her if I failed to convince her that its too expensive.

If it's a movie I don't like, I'd say I'm not into that genre, and suggest a different movie, something with action and monsters or robots or dinosaurs or super heroes or whatever.

This is separate to whether or not I find her attractive, because I'm one of the people who doesn't view watching a movie with someone as something just for dates. I've watched lots of movies with friends and family, and my choice in movies are never anything that would plant any sort of suggestions in her head. It would be like a couple of kids being excited to watch godzilla.

Now if she made it clear she likes me that way, and I didn't feel that way back, I'd just tell her she isn't my type, explain what my type is, and thats that. If she pushes the matter and tries getting in my pants anyway, in those cases I typically had to not be friends with them anymore.

[NathanDavis]

I do not act based on assumptions at all...

if I know you and I definitely "don't like you like that" that means we either are friends or acquaintances, and then yes... I just say "sure, okay, let's go see a movie" because to me it is very common to go and hang out with either friends or acquaintances... lol

[VIVANT]

Yeah I think so too.

[RavVid]

I am not going to say you aren't comely enough because you should never be insulting.

So I would say I wasn't interested in seeing the movie you suggested because I don't like the genre. Just in case you think of some other genre I'd add that I don't waste time on movies and only watch TEDx talks or geopolitics on youtube or quantum theory... but mostly I prefer to read about those topics.

Some girls are quite clever and pick a boy movie and complain none of their girlfriends want to see it with her but she really wants to. There you go. She's a single girl without a guy and it is ungentlemanly of me not to accompany her.

Of course if I did like you like that, I wouldn't care what movie you suggested.

[Anonymous]

Don't ask me this question. I know I would f*** this up. The last woman who asked me to a movie I opened it up to the group of friends we were with, hey we can all go to the movie. She asked me out to see "Message in a bottle". Not exactly a "platonic" movie. I still feel like such a s*** for responding that way.

This story also kind of dates when I was asked 🤣🤣🤣 late 1990's

She really caught me off guard when she asked.

[VIVANT]

I think your reaction was perfect.

[FunkyMonkee]

I can't, right now, the house is on fire, my sister is stuck in the blender and I'm expecting a visit from some very important penguins any minute now. It's just not a good time, right now!

[VIVANT]

😂 😆

[Gent207-2]

Instead of a movie let's go to the park and then have dinner later.

-

The movies don't allow you to gauge someone's intentions. Going to a public place that's mildly romantic without distractions paints a clearer picture and will also enable you to see how you both truly feel after conversing

[Sandeeppingping]

I'd say yes in order to lead you on then when you fall in love with me I'll manipulate you in order to make you do things and help me out with stuff I can't or wouldn't do on my own then I'd give you a shitty ass excuse on why we can't be together which you'll believe we'll both be acting out of sadness except it's not genuine on my part we'll hug for 2 mins as I can't wait for this to end and then I'll bounce

[Havthrills]

OK as friends. But then who knows, it might become more. Who would turn you down anyway?

Really, as friends. Hang out, talk. That would be fun. If I had friends I would like to do that.

[VIVANT]

Yeah I’m not sure why everything has to be a big deal 😂

[Havthrills]

Because people make it a big deal.

[VIVANT]

Exactly 🥵

[ZackBan]

Social dynamics say that it's not a date if only one party think it is.

Meaning even if I knew you wanted it to be a date and I didn't want to I can still go without saying a thing and remain platonic the wole night through. Saying yes to a movie isn't necessary a declaration of love

[lightbulb27]

great idea, lets see if XYZ wants to go as well... those are other people...

[VIVANT]

Great!!

[DiscreetUser6]

I will watch it if I want to watch that movie your presence make no difference to me

[VIVANT]

I mean if I invite you to go with me you have to say something 🤷🏻‍♀️ or do you just stay silent?

[DiscreetUser6]

I'll watch the movie 🙄

[DiscreetUser6]

I don't like going to movies alone

[VIVANT]

Gotcha 😊

[DiscreetUser6]

😅😅😅

[Makeushiver]

I'd say "let's skip that film for tonight and go back to my place for some no holds barred, naked, sweaty sex. In the process each party could learn to like each other "that way". How can you not like someone who brings you to the heights of physical ecstasy

[HaveNoName]

Ummm. I am not a big movie fan and most likely, I will fall asleep in the middle. Let's have coffee some day when both of us have time.

[VIVANT]

Lol fair 😊

[VIVANT]

Actually great when people can say they don’t want to do the thing it’s weird to say no bc of the activity and not bc of the person— just suggest something else 😂

[KatherineJ]

I would assume you meant as friends and would probably say sure.

[VIVANT]

Cool let go kat! What we seeing? 🙃

[KatherineJ]

@VIVANT hell, I don’t even know what’s playing! 🤣

[VIVANT]

Same sis! That’s why i asked 😂

[KatherineJ]

@VIVANT yeah, all I know is that “Six the musical” is coming and I can’t wait to see that.

[VIVANT]

It’s a date !!

… to see it independently and discuss together 😆

[KatherineJ]

@VIVANT sounds fun!

[TonyMetal___86]

Say okay as a friend 🙂

I don't like to hurt the feelings of others, i try my best to tell them the truth without being rude!

If the skyscrapper girl asked me to go with her to the movies, we will take althea, Ali, MR MR, the bumble bees and the whole zoo with us 🤣🤣

The skyscrapper girl will be sitting in the movies but her head is above the clouds and she will ask me what happened? 😂😂

[KostasKouvalis]

I'll go. I don't give a fuck what your intentions are. We can discuss those later

[VIVANT]

Few people can do that it’s a nice change to just go with the flow and let people tell themselves if they have designs. 😊

[KostasKouvalis]

Well I have like no social life and crave female companionship, so yeah...

[VIVANT]

It’s still admirable 😊

[KostasKouvalis]

I'm just surprised that this seems like an unusual thing to do

[Fuentes]

I ask what your looking for then say I'm just tryna fuck when you ask me what I'm looking for

[VIVANT]

#honesty 👍🏼

[TrillXHippy]

Realistically I am going to think that you’re not really serious

[VIVANT]

Why?

[TrillXHippy]

Just because

[xJayleenx]

I’ll just tell them that I’m busy with college or work and that I can’t

[xJayleenx]

And that I was sorry

[VIVANT]

Good idea 👍🏼