Am I doing the right thing?

[Anonymous]

I met this girl online and we ended up staying at the same class, she is in a ldr, I was sincere and told her that I'm starting to have feelings for her so it's better to talk less or only uni related stuff, but she acted very weird since then, one day she told that "I thought my feelings would never change but something seems wrong" and said that needs time. And since then she takes time to reply now too, so I think it's better to not start a conversation with her now, if she wanna talk with me I will wait her to message me first, I don't want her to have pressure and I don't want to act weird, she is working very hard for uni too so I don't want her to stress more. Am I doing the right thing? Thanks in advance.

[Guy13]

You are sounding like Mr. Needy. This is not about Games BUT you never confess and bombard someone else with your personal emotions UNTIL you know she is comfortable with you. It is the number one thing that gets people left hanging in the middle of nowhere or out in the Friendzone.

NOW, you have to act upon those feelings you expressed or you are forever a Wussy. Keep your most personal feelings to yourself until you are in a position to act. Control your tongue...

[Asker]

Yes! I'm a very needy and clingy person. But should we continue talking or should I give her some space?

[Guy13]

I would give her space as a sign of respect for her current relationship. She will reach out to you when she is ready to communicate.

[Asker]

Exactly like I thought, thanks a lot!

[Guy13]

👍👍

[BigschlongEnergy]

@Guy13 Damn straight mr needy done fucked up when he told her like he did
Since he’s mr nice guy that has a lot of anxiety I bet he just up and told her how he feels because he Felt anxiety and The angel on his shoulder told him That By not telling her how he feels he would be lying so he upped and told her screwed everything up and now he’s playing mr Respectful Saying he won’t Work on her feelings Cause he thinks She’s just gonna magically one day wake up and Decide she has feelings for him when he never put the work in to get her to like him.

[BigschlongEnergy]

@Guy13 but that ain’t how Life works

[Asker]

@BigschlongEnergy Look, that's how life is. Yes I have feelings for her, but I'm not gonna force do tell her to like me, she is already in a ldr and I did the right thing to call her attention, now if she is willing to continue their relationship it's her call. I'm not gonna force you and bother her with that stuff, she is already stressed up a lot with uni stuff, don't wanna be the weird guy to constantly talk to her. If she wants to talk she will send me a message, if not, then whatever, life is this way. Guess we both have different mindsets.

[BigschlongEnergy]

There’s a difference between force and Get a girl to like you. If you can’t get a girl to like you then you’ll never get a girlfriend same goes with male friends If you can’t Get a friend to See you as his best friend how you supposed to get other friends if you don’t know what your doing. It’s not about force It’s how the human mind works. It’s how a cats 🐈‍⬛ mind works if you chase after a cat 🐈‍⬛ it’s gonna get scared either run or try to attack.

[BigschlongEnergy]

Mind works on a Reward system not on a force system. Getting someone to trust you is very Important in life if you tell everyone to go to hell in life your not gonna have any friends no girlfriend and Your gonna be alone for the rest of your life.

[BigschlongEnergy]

But if you care for the cat 🐈‍⬛ it will trust you it’s not about being a bad person it’s about having people around in your circle.

[BigschlongEnergy]

If you see someone you wanna be friends with in college you Can’t just sit on your hands you have to go up to that person and Start up a conversation and try to get that person interested in being your friend. You think I’m being the bad guy here for trying to get you to be with her but I’m not she’s stressed out and the biggest stressor she’s got his that Fucker she’s in a LDR relationship with I mean instead of being a good person and a good boyfriend he ups and decides he’s got more important things than being close to her and just leaves her and she’s trying to not lose what she’s got but She questions if she should Be done with him.

[BigschlongEnergy]

And then there’s you a man that is available close and not Far away both of you can go to the movies 🍿 and have a good time she can smile and laugh ounce again And go to sleep 💤 knowing she’s got a good man that isn’t Far away.

[BigschlongEnergy]

And she won’t be so stressed out

[BigschlongEnergy]

But you don’t want her to have a smile on her face and to laugh so I’ll just leave you to your magical thinking.

[Asker]

@BigschlongEnergy And for the time being I decided to give her some space, as simple as that.

[BigschlongEnergy]

Ok buddy whatever you say.

[CanadianLearner]

You probably don't want to hear this, but this is probably toast.
At least for now.

You shouldn't be so forward with expressing your interest.

Basically, your anxiety got the better of you.

You were at war with yourself.
With part of you wanting her, but also part of you wanting to respect her LDR.
The former part took over for a bit, and the latter part prevented you from following through.

What should you do?

Back off.
Maybe if you're studying together then you might be able to build attraction, if that's what you want, but no more open declarations of interest.
Don't chase her.

[Asker]

I will back off for the time being, if she decides to take the lead then great

[Anonymous]

you are on the right track bro. Just give her space, when she is comfortable she will come to you.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, really appreciate it!

[Avicenna]

Do you still have these same feelings gif her?

[Asker]

Yes I do.

[Avicenna]

Then keep in touch and be opportunistic

[Asker]

I will. Thank you very much

[BigschlongEnergy]

Just need to Relax You seem filled with anxiety Just With the way you Typed this post. If she likes you everything will workout. If she don’t like you then You won’t Get her in your bed.

[Asker]

Yes true. I'm really with a lot of anxiety with all of this, just overthinking things, I just don't know if I should continue talking to her or give her some space. What do you think? Thanks for your reply tho, really appreciate it

[BigschlongEnergy]

So You told her you started to have feelings for her then told her that because of that you should talk less then she Acted weird. No wonder she acted weird. If your gonna Tell a girl you like her 1 thing you don’t do is tell her You should talk less.

[Asker]

But like I said she is in LDR, so I said that to respect her I guess. Don't wanted the feelings to grow you know?

[BigschlongEnergy]

You messed up bad. She’s in a long distance relationship which means you got all the time to get her to like you and you tried to be the hero well done.
There was a Girl that I liked she was in a long distance relationship I ended up Getting her To like me and we ended up fucking After school.

[BigschlongEnergy]

That’s when a Girl is vulnerable To cheating is when She’s in a long distance relationship.

[Asker]

I'm not that kind of guy. I'm just respecting their relationship. LDR is hard enough, now it's her call to do what she wants to do.

[BigschlongEnergy]

I’m not that kind of guy. I’m just respecting their relationship. LDR is hard enough, now it’s her call to do what she wants to do. Well she ain’t just gonna wake up one day and Decide she likes you LDR girls are vulnerable it’s when the girl Is vulnerable when you can get her to like you. But you don’t want that you Just wanna be Mr Nice guy and Think she’s just gonna wake up and Grow feelings that Your not even working on. You gotta work on a girls feelings that’s how you get girl to like you not with what your doing.

[BigschlongEnergy]

So just forget ever Dating her or getting her in your bed cause it ain’t gonna magically happen.

[BigschlongEnergy]

Your right you aren’t that kind of guy so just don’t even hang out with her no more unless your willing to be that kind of guy.

[es20490446e]

That's not the way you shall get to know someone.

The start shall be playful, and flirtatious. Not serious.

And if she feels the same, she will subtly let you know. Let her take care of the relationship stuff.

[Asker]

What do you mean by "let her take care of relationship stuff" is to give her some space?

[es20490446e]

Not space, but keeping it light headed. The only you need is to keep interacting with her, mostly as with any other human being. Maybe by being a little flirtly playful.

If he likes you, she will let you know.

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice! Really appreciate it

[es20490446e]

My pleasure, and good luck.