How do you bounce back after making a decision you know is the right thing to do, even though it's a difficult change?
I'm leaving a toxic job and boss for a much better situation. I should be elated, yet I feel... off.
I feel angry, sad, uncertain, and anxious because it feels like I was pushed out of a job I used to love. And of course wondering if I did the right thing, even though deep down I know I need this, if nothing else for the sake of my sanity and well being.
Have any of you faced a situation like that? And how do you shake off feeling blah? It does NOT have to be job related, but any situation where you did something that was hard and it impacted your life
Updates
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Thank you everyone for your feedback, support, and listening. I'm still feeling a little down and off, but I'll bounce back eventually. I will be starting my new position next Monday! I just have to make it through one more week of torture 😕
Have you ever been depressed after doing the right thing?
Well I can understand why you're depressed you're pissed off because you had a good job and you're pissed off because you weren't willing to eat somebody else's bulshit and being happy anymore that's okay that's actually a positive thing so you need to stand up Shake It Off and say you know what it doesn't matter what I did how I did it but I did it did I put myself in a bind Maybe but I'm sure I'll get through it but today is Sunday and today I'm going to enjoy the day I'm going to relax I'm going to smile. And just for the hell of it I might even wait a couple days before I go look for another job what you did was what you did never accept it I'm saved a damn right that's what I did and this is the reason why I did it and I feel better for doing it in the long run you can't have somebody make you quit a job because whatever they're doing and then bring it home with you too and that didn't affect you at home to so snap out of it LOL have fun what you like to do. Do you like to flirt 30 make you feel good if so send me a message I'll flirt with you I'll make you feel something it will just take your mind away from everything explore a little bit live a little bit what you did is over with there's nothing you can do about it now except for fix it by doing great seeing you again and that's getting another job it's not a big deal you have confidence if you need to talk to somebody send me a message I will give you positive message all day long you did the right thing you made the right choice it might not be today or tomorrow or the next day that you understand that but somewhere in the next month you will be so happy that you did what you did
"Well I can understand why you're depressed you're pissed off because you had a good job and you're pissed off because you weren't willing to eat somebody else's bulshit" Okay, how did you know? That's more or less part of the reason I'm leaving my job too: I refused to kiss up to my boss and I didn't fit in with the mold of the department... so I got treated like a red headed stepchild, for a lack of better analogies. I finally got sick of it and kept looking until a better job came along.
I'm just upset moreso at the reason WHY I had to leave this job for another one, but I know you're right; I just need to suck it up and do what's best for me :)
I'm and Empath and your post told me that and a lot of other things ,, and the thing is is you really don't have to suck it up just accept it if you're sucking it up it means that you hate where you're at give that place a chance give yourself a chance there it will all come together but if you go about your day thinking that you he didn't you just like it and you're thinking everything negative and that's what you have inside of you and that's how you're going to feel everyday and I would think that you would you want to be positive like I said you post told me a lot of things and told me a lot of really good things to
Can you send me a private message so I know that I get it because it seems like whenever I'm talking on here and I see notification or click on it it's in my cage ghost to the three phases past it and I can never find it again so I have like two or three conversations in the last past 2 days that are out there someplace but I can't find them LOL
Well I hope you can smile through each and every day you're the only one that can do that sometimes we get on a negative wavelength frequency Within her mind is very powerful and sometimes it's hard to get out I hope you can find your way because I can feel the happiness and the beauty within you by your words that are unspoken as I read in between the lines I hope you make it a goal to become the best you can become this week to let everybody that you work with cu as a leader in the smart intelligent women that you are. Make them want to keep you show them that you are an asset. Knowing that you start a new position in a week you can either relax and just skate through or prove to yourself and prove to others who you really are. Everybody's on the same page everybody knows that you're leaving you can keep it that way or you can show them why they should keep you. There are some things that happen to us in life and we look at those things as pit Falls when in reality it's how we handle it it's what we do with it how we overcome it is the whole test and each one of these little pitfalls makes us grow and become who we want to become it's how we deal with it not that it happened it's how we deal with it
Yes, somewhat similar to your situation. I was working at a startup and I was completely miserable. My CEO was not a nice person, I was working 70+ hours a week plus commuting 12-15 hours a week. Even in the few hours a day that I was home, I was being contacted at all hours of the day and night (CEO would wake up at 3am and start messaging people).
I was exhausted and burned out and a shell of my old self, but it was the most money I'd ever earned my whole career (not by a drastic amount... definitely not worth the hell I was going through, but still more than I'd ever made before).
It was the first and only time my whole life where I quit a job without having another job lined up. I was THAT miserable. When I quit, the company treated me like garbage, which only made me feel worse.
I gave myself a week, max, to feel sorry for myself. Then I got to work planning my next career move. All I knew was that I did NOT want to jump from one bad situation to another, and I was afraid I might do that since I wasn't working. So instead, I started researching ways to start my own freelance business. Within a few weeks, I had scored my first client. This was intended to be short-term, just to buy me some time while I looked for my next job, but it took off. Now 3 years later, I have a full client list, I work 100% from home, and most importantly, I have the best work/life balance I could ask for.
Is this how I thought my career would turn out? Not at all, but it works for me. My dad told me later how proud he was of me. He said it showed strength of character to come out of such a bad situation and completely change my path, to not let a bad situation keep me down.
First off, let me say congrats on building your own business and freedom! That is awesome.
Yes, that's my concern- that I'm going from "bad to worse" so to speak with this new job, yet I knew if I would have stayed at my current job? I'd be miserable. There were days that I was so exhausted and burned out, I didn't want to do anything but come home and sleep after work! I NEVER used to be that way! So I started applying for job internally in my facility. I love the place I work... just not the manager and department I was in.
Thankfully after applying to four different positions, and I'll say it took me less than six months? I finally got an interview, and a chance to move on!
My boss claims she's proud and happy for me (I find that hard to believe), but she signed me off! I learned that anytime you transfer internally at this place, your current manager has to meet with the new manager and they discuss what type of employee you are and should you be transferred or not- meaning my boss gave the okay to get rid of me, haha
Yes, between my passionate career choice and being a mother. The decision to stay home and leave those little kiddies... later on to leave my own going back to work. I know they all are in good hands with a good teacher for them, still, I felt I left them behind and they always asked what happened to Mrs... even now, last week one of my students text me said "I miss you" ... so hard knowing her parents going through a diovrce. Then back at work, I know my two little kiddies were under great care from my own family when I decided to return to work because I know I am not a stay at home mom type. It felt like torture to leave them while at work. sigh...
I think once you settle into your new position, you will feel better, but I don't know, have never been in that situation escpecailly if you were at your old job for a long time and build so many connections and gave so much of yourself to work life.
Ever regret either decision you made? Or you know you did the right thing?
Yeah it's hard investing almost 10 years into a job and building reputations, friends... well I'll still be at the same job, just a new location and I won't see most of those people as regularly as I used to. But it's like you said: it's hard investing all your time and energy into something only to leave it. But it's for the best; all of y'all are reminding me of that.
Funny you ask... I never regret anything in my life. Sound arrogant... but true. I made the right choice to leave when I wanted to. I made the right choice to go back. Because I am now in the same position as with my own kids holiday breaks. I know the in amd outs of the school system to help my kids. I don’t regret leaving a high paying job that I may make $200k a yr. all that will never replace the time with my kids, the holidays.
So always look forward to a better day. Hard in the beginning with the new adjustments... but it will turn out to be better in the long run. A saying... when one door closes, another opens.
I remember when you told me how much you loved your job, how your mom inspired you about it and the years you've built your reputation upon it with all the employees you met! It surprised me when you told me that you were leaving the job for a promotion but... you're only making this job move because of your new manager and terrible co-workers, making your life absolutely miserable and more difficult to deal with like you said! It's like they robbed you of your happiness there, where you used to love it and now, you're feeling the whiplash of losing everything you worked so hard for to keep that position, only because of something that was out of your control.
You're the hard working type after all! Aiming big to make your goals become a reality! You wouldn't have worked at your job for 10 years now if you didn't love to be there. I wonder if you're feeling this depression because of having to uneedingly transfer to a new job, only because of the management and co-workers there, when everything could have been well if all of you got along! You felt comfortable where you were a specialist there and making that new transition into your new job will take time!
I hope you'll have the opportunity to come back to your previous job and maybe even become a manager there if you wanted to! If you're not able to, then I hope your transition to this new job will be a smooth one for you and that you'll feel better after a few weeks of adjustments pass. Be strong! You got this! 😊
Yeah, while I am happy about getting promoted and having a new opportunity, I'm ultimately leaving due to a bad manager and work environment. As I was telling someone else in the comments, a bad manager really does run off good workers; I don't think managers and companies realize how true this is!
There were days I was so depressed and unmotivated to work, burned out, or didn't want to talk to anyone - which I never felt that way until this new manager took over about a year ago.
I would love to one day take over her position (entirely possible if I go back to school and get a Master's degree actually), however, I don't see myself as the manager type; it's too much of a headache and they're salaried- I refuse to work a job where my pay is locked! I just hope things work out for the best with this new job. I'm excited, yet nervous I guess
That's why I often question management when it comes to the managers they pick. How can they not see what kind of emotional damage picking the wrong manager does to an entire team? And for this to happen to you and your co-workers for a whole year? That's just unacceptable! Although, do you think the stress from the pendemic may be one of the reasons why your manager was performing badly at their job?
No wonder you weren't as interactive as you were in the past! No one should have to feel that way when they work! I just wish there was a change in the system where people can be treated with respect and kindness, instead of using fear and/or intimidation to lead a team.
So if being a manager wasn't salary based, you'd be ok with leading other co-workers without feeling too stressed out? ^^ I don't think I could handle the pressure of being a manager honestly! I wish you the best upon your transition too! I'll be here to talk if you ever need support ^^
"That's why I often question management when it comes to the managers they pick. How can they not see what kind of emotional damage picking the wrong manager does to an entire team?" They don't care. Managers are picked out or groomed by bigwigs here, regardless of experience, or lack of in most cases.
"do you think the stress from the pendemic may be one of the reasons why your manager was performing badly at their job?" No, she's a transfer from another department here- she was promoted from supervisor to manager. She poorly treated her employees there as well! They even gave her bad yearly reviews so the management was aware she was an issue!
... yet she got promoted. See the problem? That is a major problem.
"So if being a manager wasn't salary based, you'd be ok with leading other co-workers without feeling too stressed out?" Haha, NO. Being a manager is very stressful here. You're basically in meetings the majority of the day, yet they expect you to be aware of what's happening in your department... yet you're too busy attending meetings. It's a vicious, pointless cycle
That's why I don't agree with companies who prioritize money and favoritism over the health and care of their employees. That's probably a reason why productivity has dropped when people are unmotivated to work, like in your situation which shouldn't be happening but sadly, it still is x. x
It makes me wonder if she sucked up to the bigwigs to get that promotion, despite her poor qualities as a supervisor to begin with! No wonder so many of us disagree with how companies are being managed!
That's what I was afraid of too! xD All the extra responsibility and the pay just doesn't seem worth it! So basically, you'd apply to the position just below manager then where the pay is still hourly instead of salary based?
"It makes me wonder if she sucked up to the bigwigs to get that promotion, despite her poor qualities as a supervisor to begin with!" She got the job because the CNO (chief nursing officer- think REALLY bigwig with lots of power) gave it to her, even though she doesn't have the right qualifications. My boss is currently in school trying to get her Bachelor's degree because she's only got an Associates (...).
I have a higher degree than my boss... but of course she knows everything because, well she's a boss so... LOL
I got handed a career-type job as a motor vehicle damage field adjuster/appraiser trainee with an insurance company when I was 26 years old. The pay and benefits were wonderful. Up until then I had been a surfer and rock musician was into partying, being very active and having fun. I had to get a regular hair cut and wear a suit for the job.
I knew the job was worth it, but it changed my entire lifestyle. I didn't know how to relate to grown ups but I no longer fit in with the kind of people I related to previously, so I felt like a fish out of water. I felt like an imposter and I didn't even recognize myself when I looked in the mirror. I didn't like myself for a while.
It all definitely turned out for the best. I grew up. But it actually took a couple of years for me to get there. LOL. It was great company and the job had some amazing perks. I wound up staying with them for 30 years and retiring with a pension and a lot of money in a 401(k).
So yeah, I did the right thing but I sure was depressed for a while afterwards.
Wow! What a change in lifestyle and careers huh? That's similar to my situation: I'm leaving a job and department I've been in for almost 10 years now... comfortable I guess you could say. But practically everyone in the hospital knows and respects me so I built up quite the reputation over the years.
But in the last year, after we got a new manager, things just went downhill. I started hating going to work and she changed things- but not for the better. I knew when my mental health started to decline I needed to move on, so I started job hunting until I found a new job internally within our facility!
It's definitely going to be different, and I honestly have no clue what I'll be doing. But my new manager says I'm going to be challenged and grow if I stick it out so.. we'll see I guess? Haha
Wow. My sister went through similar situations working for urgent care. A new company would buy out the one she worked for and everything would change. I sure hope the new change works out for you, Cynicaldreamer. Best of luck!
Thank you Lliam! I hope so too! :) I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous and a bit concerned, but I had to do this, for the sake of my sanity more than anything. Hopefully things work out
Yes. Just because something is the right decision, doesn't mean it cannot be painful. I've suffered from (mild) depression (diagnosed) after I had to end a relationship I was very much invested in, but was still detremental to my happiness, resources, dignity and sanity. There was no other way. And despite me having gone through that, I'm happy I did end it as it was the right decision afterall.
What you feel now are the side-effects of being in a toxic environment (and dealing with toxic people) more than you can handle. The best thing to do is to give it time of course. There are no short-cuts to this. Luckily for you, you can change the place where you work and immediately surround yourself with a better environment. Now letting time to play its role will help you get over your blues faster as the posivity of the new place helps mend the pain.
I sure hope so. I went down to my new department today just to scope out the people and environment. Everyone seems very welcoming of me and excited to have me, they even have a desk area ready for me, haha. It's just hard giving up something I've known for so long.. even if I know it's toxic and I need to move on for the sake of my health.
Like yourself, I definitely felt like my job was making me depressed; it was scary. Even my friends and family could tell I had changed. I do feel better, and in the end I hope I made the right decision.
Iknow exactly how you feel. Even though my example from my own life was from a romantic relationship context, I know exactly how you feel when it comes to corporate. Before applying for fighter pilot school, I was working as an intern at a company. Long story short, the company was extremely toxic (as many employees decided to leave, including ones who were working there for a long time). I quickly got over the bullshit and headaches as soon as I started working for another company who did know how to treat their employees with respect. The thing is, I didn't want to let go of the first company because I just wanted to finish my internship. Not knowing that they were hellbound on making me fail. Same thing with my relationship.
If there is one thing I've realized is that we want to hold on to known hells than to get to know unknown heavens. All because we are scared of the unknown and because we have already invested so much in that which we know isn't good for us.
"If there is one thing I've realized is that we want to hold on to known hells than to get to know unknown heavens. All because we are scared of the unknown and because we have already invested so much in that which we know isn't good for us." That is me! It's hard to let go of something you've invested so much in, even if you know it's not good for you. Trust me, I KNOW.
I'm proud of myself of jumping ship, but it doesn't make the process any easier, does it?
@Cynicaldreamer It certainly doesn't. But I promise you, things will get easier. You will start to let go and focus more on your new place with better people. Only if you allow yourself to take the time to mentally recover. In the end, you made the right choice
Thank you Truth :) I went down to my new department yesterday and met with some of my new coworkers, saw my new office area... they're trying to make me feel welcome. And they assured me there's NO toxicity and it's a low drama area (which for a hospital is a wonderful thing!) So I'm excited and hopefully about my new start
Yeah it’s because we still felt attached to those things even though they were bad for us. I’ve been in a position in a company where I was like an auditor who discovered hard evidence someone who I was helping mentor them through a company and had a bright future in front of her but was responsible for firing her. It bummed me out. The same thing in a relationship, the toxic person was someone I cared about and I had to break up with them or it could derail my life, it was difficult but in the end I made the right choice, including you
Exactly! I had someone compare my current job to an abusive ex, as bad as that sounds: even though I know it's bad for me, I'm afraid to leave what's comfortable because it's all I know and afraid I can't do or get any better.
Harsh comparison, but I get the idea. Sometimes you have to break away from toxic people to do what's best for yourself.
Doing the right thing, although should be easy is sometimes harder than sound nothing... I know, been there done that too many times of late.. I let life and fear beat me down... I commend you for your courageous decision to take the right path over the "easy"... Shows strength and intelligence, strength to do it and intelligent enough to do it with no "blinders" on... You'll do great, because you earned it/deserve it♥️♥️💛💛 Congrats girl...🎉🎉🎉🤗
Thank you!!! You're such a good friend. I'm just... down I guess? Everyone's so proud and happy for me, yet I'm stressing over this new job and leaving a toxic, yet familiar environment and wondering did I make the right choice- even though I know damn well I did. Even when I told my boss I was leaving there was a moment of relief because I had been waiting SO LONG to leave. Yet I'm leaving a job I've been doing for almost 10 years... all because of bad management.
A bad manager really can run off good employees; I don't think companies realize that until they see it firsthand. And then treat us like crap when we leave and wonder why?
Be happy!! Soon you'll look back at this time and realize you worried for nothing (now, if I could just take my own advice, we'd both be alright 😊👍) They'll realize, albeit too late, they lost a valuable employee
Yeah, I have felt like that before, it sucks. I think the reason why people may feel like that after leaving toxic situations is because they are vulnerable and their self esteem needs time to recover because it has been lowered due to the behavior it was exposed to and it makes one question their worth or doubt themselves.
They didn't become addicted to it per se, but they became used to it and now the hard shift is making on them feel off because it was a weight they had grown accustomed to. The individual needs time to heal and be around more positivity.
I really wish I could take some time off in between the job transition, I start next week, but my current manager refuses to let me take off work (yet another reason I'm VERY glad to get out of that job).
Naturally, yes. I have been depressed after leaving two girls because they were toxic and ruining my life - yet at the time I felt like giving up. Most recently, I feel like crap after seeing the state of our water treatment plant - mold everywhere, bulkheads that can't be closed, understaffed by literally three men and a dog. This plant has to prevent floodings and redirect rain water, so I took photos and went on an angry tirare both on social media and tomorrow when I'll be making some calls. We have had a lot of floodings lately, it makes me sad and furious the the indifference of the higher authorities gets people in the risk of losing their homes or lives.
Yes, I read about the situation regarding the water treatment plant in one of your questions earlier today (I can only imagine how stressful that must be on you and others!)
It's hard when you want to change things, such in that case, yet the people that can fix it seem indifferent or unwilling to work with you. Trust me; I know.
I told several of my friends and coworkers I would still be at my job had my manager just showed me an iota of respect or treated me like the others in the department. But blatant favoritism tends to make your good, hard working employees bitter and push them away.
Exactly, it's literally a ticking bomb. I think you did well in leaving - it's their loss if they make good employees leave, and a manager who's not capable of showing respect to employees will find themselves in a bad situation later on, favoritism can cover them up to a point!
You didn't do the right thing, you did the proper and progressive thing. You're not "depressed" you're just feeling the snap back and feeling the force of all the years of emotional trauma and stress that job caused you.
Sort of like the "fear" victims feel days and months after their traumatic event - despite now being safe from it.
Just take each day at a time and keep yourself rested and sleep well. Think ahead to your new job and role. You now know what a shitty place to work is about. Don't let it happen to you again.
Let this be the last time you'll ever feel that way.
I have, there were fights at home almost daily I was feeling depressed and suicide even crossed my mind at one point. Teachers noticed it and I was told to visit the school counselor. That was the first and last time I went to one. He listened but that was it, I told him that this talk doesn't help me at all and that after this chitchat I'd still have to go back to the warzone that I should be calling 'home' instead. In the end I'd still be on my own, I thought so I started standing my ground and not taking any bs anymore which was the right thing to do... but fights went from almost daily to daily and that made me doubt if this was actually the right thing to do, if it was worth it, so I just kept reminding myself of the situation remaining the same if I didn't do anything different, so I kept trying to 'stick to the plan'. Easilyt the worst year of my life, but worth it
See, what's that ticks me off about "counselors"- at least the ones that aren't actually helpful. A REAL counselor or therapist is supposed to offer helpful insight, or in your case, should have informed someone that could have helped you! Talking and listening and great but it's not always enough for some people... but I digress-
At least you overcame it, even if you had to do it on your own: good for you!!!
You have to stop second guessing yourself. If you say it was toxic it was toxic - regardless of how much you liked the job in the past… it was. I longer doable.
The second thing that may be causing you anxiety is starting something new because most people don’t like change. It is tough staring something new in relation to having familiarity and an overall routine of once was part of our life.
But you have to tell yourself that during certain parts of our lives, change is inevitable and we have to do our best to accept it and welcome it.
Give yourself credit for knowing when to jump ship. Instead of focusing on the past, look forward to the possibilities of the future.
You are absolutely right! I'm terrible about second guessing myself. Oddly enough, when I first got the job offer, I was so excited because I realized I had managed to finally escape this terrible situation!!!
I just got depressed when I started packing my office up last week and realizing I was leaving after all this time. That and my coworkers and boss that seem indifferent towards me leaving and how quickly they're phasing me out of the department as if I didn't matter, or making it seem like I'm easily replaceable.
You know what? Typing this response to you made me angry and realize I AM making the right choice in getting out of this position! Thank you Nikki; seriously. I am glad I'm jumping ship and getting out of that toxic department.
If I make a decision that I feel to be right even if it means that I'm leaving behind some things that were treasured, I look forward to the greater things that await me, to be treasured in the near future.
The treasured things that were left behind will continue to be fond memories.
For the period of time that it feels all of the ways you've described, I accept it, let the feelings go through me, and I come out the other end a different, thankful person for having processed those feelings.
It takes some time for that to happen.
Everyone has to figure out their own way of dealing with their emotions. For me, the figuring out part IS the way it happens.
Yes, when my first girlfriend broke up with me then she kept asking me questions on if I would try to get back with her well no way in heck would I do so, I think I did the right thing then almost up in jail over her, no way shape or form and I did take a lot of people who were toxic out of my life, Yes I hated to do so but my only way out I also wish you the best in your new position and I ask God to move for you on this situation if your a non-believer I still wish you the best :)
Thank you! :) I just hope this new job and change is right for me. I'm glad you stepped away from your first girlfriend, she sounded like she was toxic and bad for you as well!
@Cynicaldreamer You're welcome and I hope this move for you will be better and trust me it does sound like it will be.. Sometimes in life, we have to remove people from our life and sometimes that is the best choice to make best wishes :)
If you were/are strong enough to "do the right thing", you're strong enough not to get depressed about it. Right? In your case, it's probably just because it's a "change". I hope it's not one of those cases like "battered wife syndrome", where you get used to the abuse because it was some form of attention, albeit negative, and miss it when it's gone.
No, I think it's more of resistance to change? I'm leaving a position I've been in for almost 10 years due to a very toxic boss and coworkers making my work life a living hell. Yet I'm a bit perturbed and upset I had to leave due to this situation, if that makes sense... because otherwise I could have seen myself retiring from that job
Yes, that makes sense. You're upset because it's not your "fault" that you have to leave, you're being forced to and it's a job you liked. It's just one of those situations in life that you can't make the absolute best of, so you have do the next best thing. Self-preservation, in this case however, IS the best thing and when you're out of that toxic atmosphere, you'll know it even more.
Exactly! I know you're right, and heck, I've been telling myself that for that last week. Originally I was SO excited when I got my new job!!! I mean doing cartwheels happy, haha. My job was literally affecting my health to the point I was burned out and depressed every single day unless my boss was out of the office, as bad as that sounds.
But as I started packing up my things last Friday at my office (my last day will be this coming Friday, but I'm packing up a little early so I won't feel rushed), depression hit because it's like, "I invested all this time here, and for what?"
They're not even throwing me a farewell party; that's what really stings! Instead they're already phasing me out and acting as if I'm not even there. They claim they will miss me, yet their actions don't really reflect it. So yes, I KNOW I'm doing the right thing, it's just the fact I felt like I had to go- otherwise I was going to wind up miserable and more depressed than I am now.
It sounds more like sadness that YOU "had to go" instead of several others that are the actual cause of the toxic environment. While that's disheartened on one hand, it's a real blessing on the other. And as to your investment of time, it wasn't wasted or for naught. On the contrary, it got you to where you are now. Everything you learned along the way you are taking with you. THAT is time well spent. Who wants a going away party from losers anyway?
You're right! My new boss loves the fact that all the skills I've learned over the years, ironically some my previous boss forced me to do, I'll be utilizing for her now... and actually helped me get the job :)
I am glad I was able to escape this job, yet still stay in the same facility (It's an internal transfer, with a promotion and raise). I just need to look at the positives
That's totally normal. I have felt this a number of times. You may question yourself or feel like you have let others down in some way. But every time it's been the right decision and I took it head on. That feeling will go away with time.
Changing jobs is a hard thing to do. I never got fired or layed off. I always changed jobs to better myself. Each job had better perks than the last one. That's what you have to focus on. You gave yourself a raise and you will hopefully be in a better work environment. You should be happier going to the new job.
It is. This is my first time ever leaving a job on my own, even if it was a necessity. I'm the type of person that when I commit to something, I stick to it and don't leave unless I just have to! From relationships to work; I invest in things long term. So of course it's hard leaving something I invested almost 10 years in, yet if I didn't, I'd wind up miserable and depressed.
Thank you- you're right. This job opportunity is a promotion and growth for me, so I should be happy. I guess I'm more concerned about the unknown and changing more than anything
I pulled myself together after getting to know my now ex crush, did my best to finish my bachelor's degree, applied for a job as a start for paying back my debts, worked on ways for her to preserve her health and raised her up whenever I sensed her being depressed. Now what? She started dating some other guy without telling me until a week ago.
Well, 3 years ain't just a bit. It'll take months if not up to a year until I've moved on. I mean, I wanted a relationship and now I have to find someone else. Besides the fact that she herself had had some relationships only last for a few months.
It’s normal to feel that way, but it’s worth leaving if the job was toxic and the feeling will go away, I promise. A paycheck isn’t worth your mental well-being. I just left a toxic company myself and felt the same way
Thank you :) Reading everyone's comments is reassuring me I made the right choice; it's just hard adjusting to change, especially after investing so long in one place that you used to love working at.
I see this is your first time doing it (just guessing). BUT! Don't you worry, you feel you did the right thing so just take that feeling, get used to it, because it's either this feeling or being pushed and bullied by your boss. GG 👍
Yes, this is my first time quitting a job (the first job I had I got laid off so completely different). Whereas now I'm leaving due to a poor work environment and toxic boss. It's hard leaving a job I've invested almost 10 years in! I really saw myself retiring from this department... until my current manager took over last year, then things went downhill. She really did bully me, so much so I had to start documenting things she said and her behavior; it's disgusting really.
I AM happy I got this new job! It's a great opportunity for me, growth, heck I even got a raise! It's just leaving a job I used to be so happy with, and the unknown more than anything.
I feel related to your situation, i have been in good places but some gave attitude just because they can but tjey were not ready to get attitude back from me and so far i got many bosses of mine have troubles with me and the union. Came out of these shitty situations feeling like but then i realized i did kind of right thing until i got used to it. Finding a new job this fast is amazing 👌 that is great. Once again! GG
I remember once, leaving a toxic job and feeling a little depressed. Not sure why, as I should have been celebrating... LOL... But perhaps it is just making the change that can bring the mood down.
You know, what's what everyone has been telling me. I really am happy about my new job and know I'm doing the right thing. But when you've been with a job for x amount of time and you feel like you have to leave due to a toxic environment? It still sucks
@Cynicaldreamer Well with your situation I can see why you'd be feeling down over having loved your job, and then it changed into a toxic environment. Makes the difference between liking to go to work and hating going to work.
Yeah.. today I was feeling sad after leaving my toxic ex. I was missing him. Then I realized that just because you miss something that doesn't mean it is good for you. It is just like if you ask any drug addict that if they miss cocaine. They would say yes. But, that doesn't mean cocaine should be given to them because they miss it. So, you can replace cocaine for toxic job or someone.
It's just grief. Even if you leave things that are toxic for you. You're going to feel grief. That doesn't mean you go back or choose that toxic job or ex.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Yes. It happens to me as well. Several times already. That's why i signed up for professional psychotherapy, where the patient (not the public insurance company) pays for everything. Hopefully he'll get me on antidepressants. I miss those pills more than most things.
Oh no, let me tell you something I learned the hard way: NOTHING is anonymous when you're at work. Nothing. Even if they tell you it's anonymous? It's not; it never is. That's just a lie they tell you. So when you report anything, just realize that they will know it's you, even if they say otherwise.
If you put in something "anonymously" on a computer, they will still know it's you. HR has even confirmed that to me in the past.
Big changes hurt. Good and bad. Be proud of yourself to want to make a better life for yourself, and having the courage to do it. What you did was for you.
Not depressed but exhausted. You sometimes have to summon (I don't really care for this word) every ounce of what makes you an authentic human being to do the right thing.
I would not say depressed but often confused. If I found a wallet with a lot of money in it I would track down the owner and return it even if I was broke and then afterwards I would be sitting in my house wondering where I will get the money to pay the rent and wonder if I was stupid to give the money back.
i went through this and mine was a a state prison where i supervised 80 inmates in the culinary department (cook) my boss created a hostile working environment with for me with inmates who were i believe trying to shank me. All because i requested to be accommodated under the Americans with disabilities act. I was treated worse than the inmates. That put me in a depression but made my peace with it through the Lord
ou work in healthcare so you see the effects of trauma. As a Search and Rescue Specialist in Vietnam, some men I pulled out were so badly damaged that by the time I got to them they were gasping their last breaths. To see the tears of grown men as they watched their comrades dying has been a recurring nightmare for me for 50 plus years.
When things get bad, I isolate myself so I don't take my issues out on other people. One psychiatrist, I went to early on when my final option seemed inevitable, said to me. "Why would you want to do what the Vietcong couldn't do?" That's what has kept me alive this long.
Hmm, that's exactly what I've been doing all weekend: isolating myself and brooding. I rather not stress out my friends and family so I just sleep, keep to myself, and try to cheer myself up.
I'm glad you didn't give up and you're still around!
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