Thoughts on video chat as a first date?

Question

I’m writing an article and pulling quotes on dating, and I came across someone’s advice on doing a video chat as a first meet instead of an in person meeting, (assuming you meet them via dating app).

Now this may be something people do more than I realize but keep in mind I’m a lady out of the game for quite a while, but what are your thoughts?

Say you match on an app, and you set your first date as a video chat. From there you can get a good vibe check, rule out cat fishing, and ladies you don’t have the pressure of wondering if he’s going to try to sleep with you at the end. 😆 I’d do this if I were dating.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Honestly I won’t meet a girl off the internet unless we video chat first , just because there are so many fakes and catfishes on the internet , so video chatting is honestly the best way to go , to see how each other’s body language is with each other and if we have good chemistry and connection , and that we are attracted to each other , Most people post pictures of themselves on the internet that they know will draw them attention and sadly they probably don’t look like those pictures anymore , just the way it goes , so seeing each other on video chat is smart so you aren’t wasting each other’s time , Going on blind dates is the worst thing ever especially when you really have nothing in common with each other , it’s awkward as fuck lol so many people today live on their friggin phones so technology has made it easier to connect with people , so why not take advantage of it? If someone can’t video chat you then that pretty much means they are talking out of their ass and trying to play you , How can someone meet you in person but can’t meet you on video chat? most girls I have talked to off the internet are all fakes , So to actually find one that is real has been hard to come by. Shit the only ones that have been real are the married ones that are not happy in their marriage , I usually don’t hear that they are married until we video chat , Fucked up world we live in

SwellStroke · Accepted Answer

I think it could work as part of an interview as a pre interview is the same for a perspective job hire. Keep it brief to see common things or not common things, if you can hold a quick conversation stuff of that nature.

However an actual date, no. As a lot of seeing if there is something there is done in the visual seeing how they hold themselves. In addition to the energy *vibe, connection* that would needed to truly build should they choose. Granted it doesn't work every time. However, I still think it is a big part of how to connect.

Ultimately though, its up to those consenting adults to decide for themselves and if it works for em, I will be the first to say Cheers.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't call that a date, but when I meet someone online, I chat for at least two weeks to get a vibe for them, I may do a phone call or audio chat, if I have lots of questions... I've even been told it is like a phone interview by some guys.

I am not intending it to be that way, just faster than slowly asking a hundred questions by chat.

Usually by text/chat though to look for consistencies or other things, and then either video chat or send them video clips and they send me video clips. Hard to fake those if they are going back and forth as part of a conversation.

Then finally if all goes well, meet in a public place.

Sour-rose · Accepted Answer

Only means I get to dress half way for such a thing... and no, I'm not playing overwatch while we're dating. How rude... No, you didn't see me in my pajamas pants.

coachTanthony · Answer

Video chat can never really be a date but a vetting vehicle on whether not a first date is warranted. Bad behavior on a first date usually shows up on a video chat to also include verbal chemistry and if there is any weird shit going on. I always recommend my clients doing one for at least the purpose of making sure they look like their photos and also recommend using the dating app video and not IG since you can attached a filter with IG.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have been practicing law for 36 years and most of my career was spent taking depositions and having hearings in person. Now, all of that is done by zoom, even though the covid threat has passed. Doing things by zoom is far less effective than in person. There is a significant amount of non-verbal behavior that is communicative but it gets lost on zoom.

AviatorTom · Answer

A video chat is not a date. Dates are in person. A video chat is a good way to get to know someone before that first date.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Video Dating is like a vacuum cleaner it sucks! Nowadays everything is online & reality as we know it is becoming a thing of the past. When I think of Video Dating or Online Dating I think of a vomit bag & how I want to blow chunks in it.

If you are on a video date & you two hit it off what are you going to have cyber sex?

If you are on a video date & you go over your minutes or data plan would you except the guy to pay for it?

If you are on a video date & your date wants to meet your family are all of you going to Skype together?

If you are on a video date & someone calls you or texts you would you answer the other call or text message?

Give me a vomit bag!

Jamie05rhs · Answer

As a quick meeting? Totally fine.
But as an actual first date? Terrible idea. #1 it's boring. #2 it's awkward. #3 the video distorts the image of what the person actually looks like in real life. And #4 you could have just had that conversation as a phone call.
But I especially don't like it because people can make judgements about someone and write them off without ever even actually meeting them. And I think that's sad.

Having said that, I do understand the arguments that you're making, and I think they're all valid. Except for the sex one. You can't have sex with someone at Starbucks.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I haven't done a video date, but I suppose it would have more pros than cons if it is a first one.

Pros: Eliminate the catfish potential. You can see their body language and expressions and use that with their tone to how receptive they are. Don't have to worry about safety. Saves money, gas and only time is used.

Cons: Really won't feel like a date, just a glorified phone call with someone's face. Can't make a move on a screen.

Personally it isn't my style. It feels more like a zoom call interview amd screening for qualification more than anything.

Effably · Answer

It is a good idea but it isn't really a date. You know how sometimes you might do a quick little coffee meetup to see if there is a reason to date? That's what this is. A modern, digital coffee meet. It also, to a small extent, helps show you if they are serious about meeting. Which is a fairly normal problem with online dating.

And also you know, a small hint on whether you are getting catfished or going to end up in someone's freezer to be eaten in all the wrong ways.

So aye, go for it. Don't call it a date. Unless you're bringing out candles and all. Could make it pretty cute if you tried!

DoctorSex · Answer

Weird. It stinks of a pretentious, paranoid disposition.

Dating is meant to be exciting and a tad risky. If you don't put yourself out there, others won't as well. It's easy to forge a personality behind a desk.

You aren't going to avoid any of the issues that others who date normally face, you're just delaying the inevitable.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

NathanDavis · Answer

I'm too old school for this... but I'm not your demographic target either, I've never tried any kind of online dating

I do it all in person, lol

however, I think it should not be a "date" you could just do it and call what it is... a video chat, and a previous one to any possible and actual dating

Vegasrunner · Answer

Video chat is the absolute worse first date idea every and holds zero value for men. The entire reason for spending your time w/ women on the first date is to create a fun atmosphere for sex to happen and that is logistically impossible through video chat. If a women suggest video chat just simply decline and say "when your schedule opens up and you're ready to get together just let me know"

Anonymous · Answer

Could be interesting actually. Also safer for the ladies. And. If things don’t go well its pretty easy to just end it and go back to tour day/evening. Or even on to another date. Speed dating right from the comfort of the couch! Lol. . There isn't the whole “who pays for the evening” debate. I could see this being a super casual first date idea.

loveslongnails · Answer

I think video verification is a great thing to do. I'm not sure how much time I want to spend chatting because I'd rather save that for the date itself. But it IS a great way to be sure you're not being catfished or the person didn't post a 10-year-old photo.

Juxtapose · Answer

I don't like this, I want to see an actual person in front of me for a date. If they are too chickenshit to meet a live human being and are that scared of the world then I don't think it's going to work.

People in the past didn't used to be this soft.

TheNameIsRob · Answer

I suppose I’m a bit old fashioned, but I don’t really look to meet people online because there is no real way to know if there is real chemistry until you are face to face. I don’t think a video chat is a bad thing, I just don’t think it will be all that beneficial.

Anonymous · Answer

Pro : People are (probably) at home, where they feel comfortable which can reduce nervosity and increase the feeling of being at ease and be more yourself.

Cons: It‘s just not the same. You cannot get butterflies, when he like sits near you and his arm touching yours. Or the moment when the date is over and you two either decide if it should end in a kiss, or if he should come upstairs or etc.

It’s just not the same.

4ngelic · Answer

shouldn't be a date to vid chat someone but i def think you should before meeting them. it's less ackward like that when you do meet up and it helps you figure out more if they're your type of not too. also screens out potential fishes

BrickBiggems · Answer

Don't like the idea of it. A point of date is to show that your committed to getting to know someone. Actually cleaning yourself up and driving to meet somewhere shows that that person is important enough for you to go through the trouble.

JHNS98 · Answer

Had two video calls with this black girl. I enjoyed talking to her. But then life happened and I didn't have time anymore, so she met someone else.

Didn't really get attached, so it didn't hurt, though it felt a bit sad given my pattern...

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

Given the points you made in the last paragraph, it's not a bad idea, at least as a pre-meet up.

integrale77 · Answer

Not a date just another avenue of communication but I like the idea of using it to check the person is who they say they are👍

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