I’m in a relationship with a guy. We’ve known each other for about a year and a half. We started out as friends and messaged on and off. Over the last few months we’ve both been messaging a lot more and we are finally going to visit each other soon.
I’ve noticed that this guy keeps making cheeky comments when I’m talking to him, and making offensive jokes. Like when I told him I shower with the door open he said “I would just walk in anyway” and he also keeps making dirty jokes about us together. So I know that that’s not entirely what he says to me. We also have normal conversation as well as this. He also makes comments about my body too, and also makes “grrr” noises as a joke in a flirty way. Sometimes when he does this, it makes me feel rubbish about myself and objectified. He’s made jokes about me being so “hot” that I have to get searched at an airport. Sometimes he even acknowledges it himself and says “sorry that was inappropriate”. If I tell him I’m at the gym and I’m wearing a white shirt, he will say “that’s not what colour is your bra?”. He’s also said to me “I bet you have a nice bum because you work out so much.” I’ve also noticed he will bring up other random girls, like he tells me about this girl who he’s noticed going to the gym regularly. He talks about female colleagues who hit on him and who he flirts back with.
Is he a pervert?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Nope, he's just being a man...
And most men are perverts and don't think before they talk...
You're focusing on the wrong things though...
He's just being childish and immature, just a normal way of men acting boyish when they are around a girl/woman they like or have a crush on...
You gotta focus on the following things and be patient with him...
He's being open and honest with you, and actually trusts you enough and considers you to be a close enough friends that he can blurt out anything he's thinking about...
If you start focusing on whether things he's saying are appropriate or inappropriate you might lose a good friend/ honest lover...
If you find what he talks about privately with you alone as pervertish/stupid/crazy/freaky... then you could advise him in a gentle way that we women don't think this way and most women might find it repulsive, so he could do it but tone it down a bit or check things he's about to say with you by saying a warning dialogue like "Hun, will I sound inappropriate/ rude/ignorant/pervert/freakish if I say this (then quote his immature manly thought)..."
It takes way more time to train a boy into a man than to train a pet to be domestic...
I personally think men blurt out idiotic things without thinking of the consequences or how it might sound to other people, education helped me understand women and that every thought doesn't need to be converted into words.
I'm being optimistic that you could get to be one of those women who believe in educating men in a proper, delicate and sensible way.
Be careful, being rude and angry with him won't get you anywhere in the relationship, and might leave him illiterate, ignorant, scarred and emotionally wrecked for the rest of his life.
Hope this helps, good luck.
Sounds a but like it
All guys are "perverts".