Do people put in less effort in the relationship when they were the one being chased?

[Anonymous]

I Can’t help but feel like this is the case. Should women just wait for the guy to chase us?

Every relationship where I’ve “chased” the guy (initiated, flirted first, asked them out, etc) I’ve gotten cheated on.

None of the relationships where the guys chased me ended like this. We parted amicably.

Is there any truth to that people put in less effort in relationships where they were chased? Is it because that person wasn’t their first choice to begin with? Is it because you subconsciously feel like you settled?

The one who did the chasing usually puts in more effort into the relationship

The one who was chased usually puts in more effort in the relationship

There’s no correlation between who did the chasing and level of effort in the relationship

[bamesjond0069]

The problem is you think there should be chasing at all. Nobody should be chasing anyone. Chasing means that one of them finds the other not good enough and has to get pestered into being with them basically. Like if I meet a girl I'll be like let's go out, if she says no I just move on to the next girl. Tbh if a girl sees me and thinks I'm not all that then she needs her eyes checked or she's just weird lol. I asked so that's me putting in effort and she should say yes and show up on time cute and pleasant, that's her putting in effort. I don't know how everyone thinks it needs to be more complex than this.

[Calculated_Guess]

Well there could be some truth to the "Not being their first choice theory" because the person initiating the relationship is very attracted to their target, while the other person is possibly less enthusiastic. However generally speaking, the person in the relationship who's more attractive, and has more options, usually puts less effort into the relationship regardless of who initiated it in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Yes. This is why I don't chase.

[Danny_dan92]

Sometimes yeah