She's everything I wanted but she has a past?

[Anonymous]

Should I date her and do any of you have girlfriends with a past?

Genuinely I really don't care at all but society keeps telling me should cheat on me or something.

She seems to really like me a lot though and is fighting for me. Im a musician and she films all of my videos and she's been there for me through thick and thin. She seems to really love me and started ignoring the guys from her past because she likes me a lot..

We talked for a bit in the beginning and I kind of blocked her for a bit to gather my thoughts. All of a sudden one of her friends ended up messaging me like "what's wrong with you dude".. Eventually we started talking again and she seems to be the missing piece that fits into my life so perfectly..

My biggest issue is.. With me being so vulnerable I may be taking a risk that may crush me.. I've never been in love before and I never thought I would be but.. I think I might like her a lot.

Please tell me.. Am I being stupid or should I go for it?

[WonderBell99]

What type of past are you referring to? Has she committed a heinous crime? Has a relatively high body count than you? Cheated on her previous partner (s)? You need to stop caring about what OTHERS might think of your relationship. You are going to date her, not the society.

Loving someone with all your heart NEVER goes wrong... as long as both of you are sure about each other. We know nothing about her, so we cannot exactly say anything except for giving you the little nudge that you so badly need right now. You know her, though. Why would you let go of someone who so perfectly fits into your life? And to be honest, if something about her is bothering you, you need to tell her right away. You are not an immature teenager anymore. Get better at communicating what you want.

Shit happens to everyone. Has she wronged you in any way so far? I assume not. So why would you NOT want to take this chance? The biggest risk in life is not taking a risk at all. What's the point in always playing it safe? You only live once. Who knows? Maybe in a few years, you'd look back at this and think to yourself: "Damn, I made a huge mistake. I never should have let her go. I wonder what could have happened to us if we had gotten into a relationship." Giving something or someone a chance is way better than pondering the what ifs after a few years and drowning yourself in a pool of regrets.

[Asker]

Welp, just found out she's actually a virgin 😳

[melanieeeB]

The past is the past
Also with love we all have to take a risk, always, you never know what might happen and you don't know if in 20yrs from now she might cheat, we don't know but we have to trust that even if someone thing bad happens we will be okay and we will get through it. Life happens, people come and go, friends come and go, lovers come and go and some stay but we can't tell who is going to stay and who is going to go one day eventually 🤷🏽‍♀️ If it feels right and you want this relationship and she respects you, likes you back, wants this to... well then go and try it!

[Asker]

I declined the offer

[BloodyKarma]

It's really hard to say.. I was a virgin before I met my fiance, I had some relationships but never felt like I was ready for sex with any of them (longest previous relationship was 1.5 years)

My fiance on the other hand had fair few sexual partners (I don't know exact number and honestly I don't want to ask) from one night stands to some relationships not so healthy ones, but can't say mine were either lol

But to cut to the chase, what society is saying is, more partners someone had, more people there are to compare you to. She might be comparing me to way one of her ex boyfriends was in bed, she may compare me to how some other one was funny, she may take how some other one was treating you with gifts etc, and more people she was with, more of them kinda merge into one though this was better, that was better, so you're not good

Or so the thought process is nowadays. I still went for it. I'm taking he risk, because I think my fiance is amazing, she had bad childhood, but she still turned out damaged, and hurt, but kind and very down to earth. She is Indian tho, so that may be different from western women.. so you can take it both ways

Don't take my opinion as advice, but as one of many stories which, as I said can go both ways

[Asker]

I declined the offer

[loveslongnails]

Um... I have to say, what was this: "I kind of blocked her for a bit to gather my thoughts." What is "kind of" blocking someone? Either you blocked her or you didn't, and if you did, why? That sent a totally skewed message. Can't you gather your thoughts without blocking someone? I can see why you got messaged by the friend, and it's fortunate for you it didn't blow the whole deal.

Back to your question - life is a risk. No guts, no glory man. She's got all the boxes checked for you, but she's got some history. Who doesn't? Has she committed a serious, violent crime? Got a higher than you like body count? What's so terrible that you're considering walking away from something that, in your own words, " ... seems to be the missing piece that fits into your life so perfectly"? That's a lot to walk away from just because you're a little scared and feeling vulnerable.

Little hint: when you think you might really care about someone, or love someone, that feeling never goes away.

[Asker]

I declined the offer

[Orion76]

I won’t use the the words decline and offer around her at least 😅

[Changiis07]

You're not being stupid. Love is a risk but you will have to communicate any thoughts you have because if she does have a past of cheating you have to be careful

[Asker]

I declined her offer

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself this. Which gender, and what sort of person most often says 'The past is the past'?

The past matters. Anyone that ignores it is being utterly foolish. Our entire life is shaped by our choices and the consequences of those choices are lived out every single day. I know someone that suffered an injury from the past and 20 years later they still get issues from it? Should I just tell them 'the past is the past?' My friend who was promiscuous in the past still suffers from it and she is almost 50 years old? Shall I tell her that the past is the past?

'She seems to really love me and started ignoring the guys from her past because she likes me a lot..'

I will hazard a guess that she is early to mid 30's and her previous parthners were all the complete opposite to you...

[Asker]

I declined her offer

[mandyfire98]

She sounds like she's crazy about you. Stop worrying about what other's think.
Who cares if she's been with other people. You might be exactly what she's looking for. Is there a risk the relationship might not workout? Absolutely but that's life. You'll never know if she's the one if you don't try with her. You need to get out of your own head and insecurities and just enjoy your time with her and focus on that.

[Asker]

I said no

[Orion76]

It’s irrelevant, if you think you have found the one then go for it and if you do her past isn’t gonna bother you unless you let it. If you think you are mentally strong enough you can pull this off and fk the society otherwise let her be and go back to the society that don’t give 2 shits about you or me or anyone no matter what you do.

[Asker]

I said no

[Orion76]

🤦🏻‍♂️

[Asker]

Then I said yes and now we're together.

[Paul09]

Sounds like you barely know her. I'm not sure how she was there through hick and thin? And you think she "loves" you? A bit odd. How can you love someone you barely know? I'm not sure what she did in her past, are you saying she cheated? If so , there is a good chance she may do it again. Your a musician, don't yo get women after you all the time?

[Asker]

I said no

[inhua]

everything always looks great in the beginning and everyone is on their best behavior

only way to find out is to see how she reacts when she's at her worst

[Asker]

I said no thank you to the date

[Blackcupcake]

if you love her, focus on HER, not what society tells you

[Asker]

I told her to fuck off

[PatriceONeal]

You're not being stupid you're being a man. Have fun with her but I wouldn't trust her with your love. These women are dangerous to your mental health, among other things.

[Asker]

I told her that in good

[misogynistic_pig]

If she has a past as a slut, I only use her for a short-term relationship.

[misogynistic_pig]

I can't buy a bitch no wedding ring.
-Lil Pump

[LazerBean]

That's makes you a slut too tho, so someone like that is your equal.

[misogynistic_pig]

Can't treat these hoes like ladies.
-Lil Wayne.

[Keishio]

Bud, of you keep hesitating with things then nothing will ever happen to you and you'll a safe and uneventful life.

[Asker]

I told her to never talk to me again

[Anonymous]

I have been with a lot of guys but I'm not going to cheat on the guy I'm currently with.

[Asker]

I told her to leave me alone

[gorydetails]

What kind of a past?

[Asker]

Promiscuous

[gorydetails]

How promiscuous?

[Asker]

I declined the offer

[Emanon25]

If you like her then you go for it.

[Asker]

Maybe. I'll think on it.

[Emanon25]

The past stays in the past and nobody is complete.

[Asker]

I declined the offer