I am just confused and don't really know how to play this. I am the dumpee in this scenario and the breakup happened around 8 months ago. We were both stressed out about other things and it showed in our relationship. So she decided to walk away.
Quite soon we actually tried to get back together. It went rather well and I jumped the gun: asked her to make it official again too soon. She left for a trip and after it she went out with me again. At the end of the date she confessed while crying that she is afraid it wouldn't work out between us. I told her I needed time to digest this and went no contact for almost 3 months. Then we went to an art show together. And we are in contact ever since. We meet at least once a week and the frequency is slowly increasing. She comes up with the ideas what we can do together, we talk about really personal stuff and about things that affected our relationship. She doesn't have a problem with physical contact, she hugs me here and there, she puts her arm into mine while we walk together, she touches my arms, even face and smiles and laughs a lot. She never pulls away when I go for physical contact either. She always thanks me after the 'date' saying she felt really good with me.
Yet, that's all. I feel like she would want to come back, but doesn't initiate anything. And as she is the one to have said she doesn't want to give it another shot before, I don't really feel like initiating anything myself. It is a clear boundary for me which I respect.
Any thouhts on what it can all mean? Am I just reading too much into it? Should I wait for her to muster up the courrage to talk about it?
Quite soon we actually tried to get back together. It went rather well and I jumped the gun: asked her to make it official again too soon. She left for a trip and after it she went out with me again. At the end of the date she confessed while crying that she is afraid it wouldn't work out between us. I told her I needed time to digest this and went no contact for almost 3 months. Then we went to an art show together. And we are in contact ever since. We meet at least once a week and the frequency is slowly increasing. She comes up with the ideas what we can do together, we talk about really personal stuff and about things that affected our relationship. She doesn't have a problem with physical contact, she hugs me here and there, she puts her arm into mine while we walk together, she touches my arms, even face and smiles and laughs a lot. She never pulls away when I go for physical contact either. She always thanks me after the 'date' saying she felt really good with me.
Yet, that's all. I feel like she would want to come back, but doesn't initiate anything. And as she is the one to have said she doesn't want to give it another shot before, I don't really feel like initiating anything myself. It is a clear boundary for me which I respect.
Any thouhts on what it can all mean? Am I just reading too much into it? Should I wait for her to muster up the courrage to talk about it?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
I wish I could answer but I got nothing.
I experienced similar recently.
She may like you and spending time- good
I don't know if she likes you sexually. Try a kiss and maybe ask if later on, if we ever got together would you find me sexually attractive enough to have sex with? Or would that be uncomfortable for you?
I ask because as a guy that is something I do like and don’t wish to die without, but I don’t want to continue a full on invested relationship, emotionally and mentally and all, if the outcome wouldn’t be good from the start.
See what she says. If she’s sexually attracted and likes spending time with you- that’s a prize relationship.
She put thought into hangouts so she definitely trusts you as a friend, and woman’s trust is a good thing.
Maybe after that sexual question, ask her if she enjoys hanging out with you because you’d like to know if it’s working out on both ends of the relationship.
Be open to the honesty. She seems like she would answer honestly.
Her tears were some passionate stuff.
I am just wondering if she doesn’t feel like it would work is it because she isn’t interested sexually? Is it because she wants to live an independent life? But she likes you so very much?
So definitely ask her. That’s the BEST way you can show that you care, without going and Tiring yourself or feeling expendable.
You’ll know whether to move forward or not, and be showing her you DO care.
Also plan a hang out after that question or ask those on a hangout and have one more together, so things don’t feel so stressful or “final.” However it all turns,
Best to you both- whether that be together or individually or both.
Keep your distance and stay way. How many times do you need to relive an experience until you believe that it is not meant to be?