Why Is It So Hard To Forgive Him?

[Anonymous]

I am a 21 yr old black female my boyfriend is a 29 yr old white male. We've been together for almost a year and he has done and said some extremely horrible, embarrassing, guy wrenching things. They was a the month period where he treated me poorly, worse than other months. ( Eyeing women, name calling, purposely making me upset, ignoring my feelings) I became so depressed, hating myself and everything around me. It's so bad that we could be having a good time and I randomly get angry about something he has done to me in the past. He gaining back my respect that I lost for him and my trust but it's very hard to forgive, I often sometimes feel like he is with me because he doesn't have access or many options to the women he truly wants. How do I forgive and move on? The things he has done to me aren't things that someone who lives someone would do.

[Anonymous]

just a reminder for everybody. race ethnicity your tribe etc does infact not make you good person. what does is your heart your mind your soul your beliefs. im muslim male and im glad every women i seen for marriage i never did that to any of them. altough once i did when i was younger and less religious and had more western beliefs

[Opinion Owner]

also i feel sorry for you. i hope you move on. he is not making u feel better and a man supose to heal a woman not damage her. i hope u understand and feel better now

[SnowedIn]

Why are you with him?

Forgive him because that's the right thing to do AND it'll lift a weight off your mind and heart but then move on. You can do better.

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way. I stayed... and now I'm pregnant. I love my unborn but if I could honestly have it with someone else... I would

[Asker]

Why did you stay? Sadly I think that even though he has treated me poorly he's one of the "good ones" in such a horrible dating pool

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly how I feel.
I wasn't sure and the women in my family convinced me and said he "loves me" you can love a person and still not like them. I was afraid because how I look and maybe my mental health no one would want me. I felt I deserved way more than what he was giving me. And he's told me time and time again my needs don't matter to him. Like what I want out of him. I'm embarrassed because I told an aunt I was leaving him... he doesn't do much for me but pays the bills. The moment I was leaving I literally found put I was pregnant. And honestly abortions suck and weigh so much on a woman's mental health and soul... I wanted to keep my baby. Eventho knowing me and how I look no man would want me at least in the state I'm in..

[Opinion Owner]

I saw it as.. he doesn't cheat.. pays the bills and sex isn't everything. Which it low key is he's terrible at it and I'm so frustrated I'll go fuck a cucumber

[Asker]

I'm in the same boat everything you said has resonated with me. It's extremely frustrating

[Opinion Owner]

I say get out while you can before you get knocked up🥲

[Guy13]

Cause he did you wrong.

[Asker]

Ofc he did, I forgave him verbally but I can't get past how badly he had tested me or didn't defend me.

[Guy13]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Sometimes the scars, whether emotional or physical, never truly go away. One has to capture the thoughts and remembrances and literally cast them out. Read and do something else until it becomes easier... and it eventually goes away-along with the rage and shame. Good luck with it all.

[Staximus]

This guy obviously makes you feel bad. Get rid of him and go find a guy that makes you feel happy

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine how bad your sex life is