What would you think if a girl cried on a date?

Question

I had a date today, the guy was cute, but I didn’t feel attracted, so I feel I won’t make him lose any more time, since he traveled from far just to meet me.

He is a type of a person who always goes for what he wants,

when we were talking, we talked about lots of topics and he told me that his dad passed away when he was 12 and that his older brother committed suicide when he was 25, I felt so sad, I couldn’t stop my tears coming down, he then tried to comfort me and also joked that it should be him crying and me comforting, but it’s not a big deal anymore and I don’t have to feel sad and he thinks I am very kind.

I just feel so awkward I cried… And I feel so sad I have to disappoint him about our future dating prospects.

Juneberry91 · Accepted Answer

I would not feel bad for crying it sounds like you are a strong empath that truly cares for people so that’s nothing to be ashamed about 💕

Healthy individuals with healthy boundaries will never disclose such a deep dark information right of the bat to a stranger on the first date. Even though it’s sad and can be true it’s just poor etiquette, also can be use to manipulate others to feel Instant sympathy for them in turn they will get what they want because you feel bad for them. There are predators out there that look for people that are emotionally over caring and this is a perfect way to expose your empathy is to tell you a Tragic story in thier life. This is to test the waters on how you respond & will offer.

The fact that you are worried of disappointing him, a stranger reveals that you are prime target. There is no need for guit. You did nothing wrong you were honest therefor You respected him and his time. The whole point of dating is to get to know somebody lightly by keeping things light then as you bond overtime to go deeper once trust is established.

You are not an awful person because you are not dating him just because he had awful events happen his life everybody has some form of trauma and hardship.

Labokachulaa · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's a bad thing, if I were on a date with you and that happened I would try my best to console you.. Some people may think of this as a turn off, but I don't. I honestly feel like people who are bothered by someone expressing their emotions were invalidated as children.

Gibbons44 · Accepted Answer

I don't know that there is anything wrong with crying when one feels like crying, regardless of when and where. It probably is the only way to return the human kind to sanity, since the other option - anger/fury, only causes damage, no matter how much it gets marketed as the right way to handle adversity and hurt.

Girls very often have expectations so unreal that contact with reality like you have had makes them cry away those grandious expectations of each magically becoming a disney princess upon finding her prince charming (or him miraculously finding her).

Whilst that does exist, it happens only to the most dilligent and most honest/commited ones - not to the self-permissive clueless bundles of anger and fury who demand disney deliver them a magical prince or else...

misogynistic_pig · Accepted Answer

A girl crying on a date could be seen as a sign of emotional manipulation.

I focus on building my own life and making decisions that allow me to live a life without emotional or financial commitments.

A woman crying on a date is a strategy to emotionally manipulate the man and try to involve him in her life.

Guy13 · Answer

Great…I flew across the world to be cried at….

Avicenna · Answer

It would depend why she cried and whether it was genuine

Fireguy17 · Answer

It happens.
it just shows that you are a caring person, it's just who you are.
You don't have to feel bad or apologize for that, it's just who you are.
It's ok not to like someone enough to start a relationship with, sometimes you can meet the nicest person, but it just doesn't click.

connemara_crocodile · Answer

Dushy move from the guy. You don't drop a bomb like that on a first date. Trying to win with sympathy.

And then playing the victim, trying to get you to feel sorry for him?

Nope, I don't think that's fair, that's the kind of thing you tell to someone you know, he was just using his story to get you closer faster.

Anemone978 · Answer

Well I don't know why you even care what he thought of the date or you crying because you don't want to see him again, so just be honest with him and don't waste your or his time trying to be nice lol

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I think you just showed real feelings in both situations. You felt sad for him regarding his family and you felt sad on top of that bc you disappointed him. It just shows you have a big heart!

lightbulb27 · Answer

I feel bad you dumbed him...

yes I had that happen, it's awkward. I understood why... she was doing a job helping muslims immigrate and discovered how how women are valued by such people.

I'm not saying all Muslims think same, but these ones devalued her.

Pyrofox · Answer

You'd get a corny jokes after tossing ya a full big box of tissues. I didn't come here to have to swim through a man made ocean 😉

And then chuckle when ya smack my shoulder. When maybe the hiccups strike. 🙃

As to the crying, everyone does it when they hit their wits end.

BagoH · Answer

Don't feel guilty , you're not responsible for their problems and emotional issues. It's a sad thing what he went through but sounds like he's not ready to be in a relationship and hasn't gotten over his grief yet. You did the right thing , we're all responsible for our own happiness.

TomMarks · Answer

Would want to know more. Was it just something related to the date that made her cry (me being an idiot etc) or was there an outside reason? I wouldn’t necessarily feel bad about future dates if she had something going on outside the date (issues with family or friends etc) that made it difficult for her to enjoy her time with me.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

It's pretty rare for a woman to give the first actual shit about a guy's problems. He'll be missing out on one the good ones

AsaKyo · Answer

I'm just trying to figure out how you liked him in pictures but didn't like the way he looked in person.. lmao

Like if he was using filters or photoshop to make himself look good, then I get it, but if he looks the same in photos and irl, wtf? But I guess I can understand if your personalities didn't go together

I don't know woman, I'm just confused and the context is so minimum that I don't know how to even answer this question lmao

RavVid · Answer

It is a sad story and I would think you were empathetic. But it would just be wrong to date more if you have no interest.

notwoke · Answer

in 30 years of engineering management, I've managed easily 100 engineers and 90% of them were men, but the only ones that ever cried in my office were women, however we have to walk around pretending that women are as emotionally stable as men. SMH

Anonymous · Answer

omg you are just too sweet... there's nothing wrong with this given the context of what he was telling you. you have a lot of empathy and sympathy for people. it's not a bad thing.

Anonymous · Answer

Crocodile tears. Most women are very STRONG, emotional but strong. And women are not above weaponizing thier emotions. So 90% of time when a woman cries it's completely planned. She manipulating him plain and simple. Don't fall fir it fellas. Always be on your guard.

EmyyWolf · Answer

Lol that sounds like he’s being manipulative and making that SHT up.

No offense. And why do I think this?

Because nobody does that on a date. 🤡 Nobody, he wants the treat, so he’s trying to make you give him pitty-sex. 🤡

Levin · Answer

That would be kind of funny. Not the story but the fact that you cried. Girls cry over all kinds of shit so don't worry about it.

Ricky1966 · Answer

dates over. I spent a lot of my time, energy, money and time for this date and if the best she can do, just leave. life is too short to babysit people you've just met

msc545 · Answer

It is very human and normal to cry at sad stories, even when they are not directly about you.

What would you think if a girl cried on a date?

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