Could you date someone who is asexual?

Question

burlen · Accepted Answer

I once dated an asexual woman, but I didn't realize she was asexual until our second year together. Our relationship lasted for almost three years, and since then, asexuality has become one of my relationship dealbreakers.

The signs were there during our first year of dating, but I chose to attribute them to her not being overtly sexual and her pious Indian heritage or upbringing. You know, the early months of a relationship tend to be sexually charged. She kept giving excuses such as, "Let's take things slowly," "I'm tired…just from cooking," and "I just want to cuddle with you."

Even on the occasions when we had sex, it felt like a chore for her, as if she was only doing it for me. Fifteen minutes into sex, she would ask the most mood-killing question: "Aren't you done yet?" or "Are you there yet?"

It was in the second year of our relationship that she disclosed her asexuality and suggested I could have sex with other women, as long as she didn't know them, or I didn't get them pregnant.

I felt sorry for her and didn't act on her suggestion. We eventually parted ways in three years, and I swore never to date an asexual person again.

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

Asexuals are pointless for dating. I don't even give them much thought. Waste of time for both of us. I'm still trying to meet someone who isn't in the danger zone on the hot-crazy matrix.

But hard for me to open up. Met too many examples of the ACLU being wrong to have pushed for Deinstitutionalization in the 70s.

It's made me bitter and anxious. Every new girl I meet, I'm practically counting the days until she finds the dumbest reason to go full tire slasher. Would so love to let my guard down one day, and not be given any reason to regret it. To not have to anticipate that every argument is going to get blown stupidly out of proportion.

But I cut them loose sooner these days than before. I don't let them get extra chances to abuse me. They start that, they're dead to me.

WonderBell99 · Accepted Answer

I have not slept with anyone yet, but it would be an immediate no from me. I could never date someone who is asexual because I would like to be intimate with my partner once we get serious.

Even if he is not repulsed by sex, I want someone who has somewhat of a similar sex drive to me. I want someone who matches my passion and I want someone who would like to have sex with me without it feeling like a chore, or as something to just please me.

Alessa13 · Accepted Answer

Not if they expect monogamy & loyalty as I don't believe one person should have control over both of us on if we have sex or not.

That gives on person too much control, I suppose I could if they were okay we me getting my needs filled elseware.

Thing is I can't say I'd actually even date someone who is asexual even if they were open about it, that means we are simply not compatable.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Why would somone do that? If she is asexual, I would just call her a "friend," and I'd look for someone else to date. I don't want needlessly to give up sex for the rest of my life!

MrOracle · Answer

No. That would simply make us incompatibile, and wouldn't be fair to either of us.

Avicenna · Answer

No, that is an automatic friendzone. There is no reason to date such a person, especially since there is a crucial component of a relationship that she doesn't want to take part in at all.

BullShark · Answer

I'm no expert on sexualities, but a friend I once had came out to be asexual, and from what she told me, asexual people, contrary to what some people may think, don't really affiliate themselves with the LGBTQ, and are basically individuals who don't feel any sort of attraction, romantic or otherwise, towards anyone of any gender or sex.

So it's easy to assume they wouldn't really agree to be in a romantic relationship with anyone ever. Like you could if you wanted to, but if you're a person who enjoys getting intimate with their partner, you can forget about all that unless you want to gross them out and push them away. Dating them would pretty much, in simple words, be like any other platonic friendship you have with your other friends. Plain and simple.

Sour-rose · Answer

Well guess what I am A goddess such as me to find another... goddess who's also asexual? We will be the best together and rule the world and be able to look down on all horny mortals.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

When I was 30 I was interested in dating a lady but we had some conversations and she in so many words, revealed that she always had zero interest in sex. Funny though that I ran into her probably about 4 years later and she had just got married and she was with her husband. So fast forward over 15 years later, I looked her up on a public profile site and she was divorced. Of course it could be for any reason but maybe being asexual had something to do with it.

Lliam · Answer

Absolutely not. I date attractive women because I am looking for a sex partner.
What's the point of dating an asexual? If I was looking for a best friend, I could just as easily choose a dude.

I like heterosexual women with strong libidos who like men and love sex.

There is much more to choosing a woman for a relationship, but love of sex is one of the requirements.

Iron_Man · Answer

What’s the point of that? Basically Its like a male friend but a female gender that’s not called dating that’s called hanging out for the night or the day if you’re not gonna hold hands hug each other eventually , snuggle or kiss then it’s not dating

AdithyaR · Answer

I could yeah. It would depend on whether they're sex repulsed or not. Some asexuals can still have sex because they may enjoy the actual act without needing the attraction or some might not mind doing to please their partner. In those scenarios it would fine if my partner didn't mind the occasional fooling around.
With someone who's sex repulsed, I don't think I'd be able to.

John_Doesnt · Answer

The evidence for asexualism is flimsy at best. Almost every case where someone claims to be asexual it turns out to either be a medical issue or a mental health issue. There's not much evidence for someone who is actually asexual and not attracted to anybody. I'm open minded and don't judge people's life style, but I believe scientific accuracy should always come first.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

That would depend on how they see sex. I may not care about it as much as other men, but I would be lying if I said I didn't care about it at all. If they are repulsed and are not comfortable doing it, no way, I wouldn't want to subject someone to that.

Levin · Answer

I don't think so.

I'd consider it a pathosis and want to change them.

And you should never want to change your partner.

Besides sex is the best thing ever. And a lot of asexuals are literally disgusted by sex.

Quackthulu2 · Answer

I could, but I wouldn’t what would be the point?

dragoblack · Answer

From reading the comments, aside from "asexual people don't desire sex" is the only part people understand about asexual. Asexual people do desire intimacy unless they are completely ace, meaning if they are willing, you can change sex from being just fucking, to being an intimacy thing. Sex toys, sensation play, bondage... etc. though intercourse is something they have no desire for, doesn't mean all sexual activities are off the table. It's just a matter of talking to them about it.

nawtee_me · Answer

Asexual reproduction is the internal cloning of the single sex adult reproducing an exact replica as its offspring. People can not do that and therefore cannot be asexual creatures.
You can call something anything you want but it doesn’t make it true. You can put lipstick on a pig but it is still a pig.
The whole premise of people being asexual at its core is based upon a lie.

shessoheavy · Answer

I only date asexuals, but I'm asexual. Nothing wrong with an allo (people who are not asexual) not wanting to date an ace, nothing wrong with an allo and ace being in relationship if they can make it work.

cth96190 · Answer

No, because that would be pointless.
The purpose of males and females getting together is to fuck and, thereby, make babies.
If the female was asexual, interaction with her would not fulfil the biological imperative.

Sleeper07 · Answer

No, sex is absolutely important to me. In fact I would take it that, that certain someone is not actually attracted to me to begin with which would turn me off and let me know I'm wasting my time and energy.

Anonymous · Answer

Less than 1% of all people born are truly asexual. But I guarantee that you mean the new post millennial under 30 definition of “someone who isn’t interested in sex at the moment” so therefore they claim they are ‘asexual’ because they need so desperately to be different and have some sort of identity…

no, I wouldn’t date one of those asshats.

real asexuals are like spock.

CubsterShura · Answer

I can't see myself being with an asexual... And I'm demiromantic myself 😂😂

Apulu_Imback · Answer

I don't mind at all! Instead this is better for me.

SolitarySolace · Answer

I would prefer someone who is or who at least doesn’t do anything below the waist. A relationship without sex would be perfect as long as they don’t cheat. Which is impossible so I chose to stay single

Dargil · Answer

If that implies no sexual intimacy at any time, no. Not much reason to date without it. Men make better friends. If she was able to accommodate me sexually, I would consider it.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

As another asexual person, that would probably be ideal

Agape93 · Answer

Sure. I can get laid elsewhere and there's more types of physical intimacy than sex

menina · Answer

I could. Sex is not the most important thing to me, so that wouldn't be an issue at all.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Worms are asexual. That means they have both sexes. Yeah, I could date someone like that, as long as I could get them pregnant.

MrCommodore · Answer

I need to Google what that is, but sure if she is attractive to me.

Berethor · Answer

Well if she put out then maybe, because women tend to be less sexual than men anyway.

Anonymous · Answer

No but that's because I want children, and sex is required for that.. And no I'm not interested in surrogacy or adoption.. And honestly I want sex Ina relationship/marriage. With an asexual it's just not going to happen.

Keishio · Answer

No. If there's no sexual contact in a relationship I feel unloved and as soon as I start to notice myself craving that attention elsewhere then the relationship is pretty much done with

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes I wish I was asexual tbh. It would help me stop lusting and I wouldn’t have made so many bad past sexual decisions.

Anonymous · Answer

I did. And I also suspected he was also Bi or gay or whatever. Not into sex. More like a bed mate. hahaha

OfDeath · Answer

No because what would the point of that be? Why would an asexual person even want to date?

Anonymous · Answer

What would be the point. I really enjoy sex

genericname85 · Answer

"could". but why would i? i'm not asexual. i want sex. so no point for me.

007kingifrit · Answer

asexuals don't exist... also what's with the weird amount of interracial pictures being featured on this website? that's not normal

Anonymous · Answer

Nah. I've got too high of a libido to be happy with someone who didn't want sex.

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

Why not? Many asexuals date, just that they have no sex. Dating and sex ain't the same.

Mangospacho · Answer

I think that defeats the purpose of being in a relationship altogether.

analgesicgal · Answer

No, I wouldn’t. Specially not the aromantics.

Anonymous · Answer

If she's cool with me banging other chicks, or better yet if she facilitates it then yeah--I'd give it a shot.

Guardian45 · Answer

That makes NO SENSE! If there is NO SEX that's called friendship!

Anonymous · Answer

There'd be no point. What you're talking about is a friendship.

Nikki1989 · Answer

That would never happen.

Anonymous · Answer

Absolutely. Just as long as they're aware they will still have to fulfill my sexual desires.

Anonymous · Answer

No, I don't date woke freaks

musicbrain5 · Answer

Nope, since I’m not asexual.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Can that even be considered as dating?

slatyb · Answer

Not as a prospective partner

sheikalana · Answer

Unfortunately no.

exitseven · Answer

No, I would want to have sex.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Sadly, no. :( I can hang out with them, though!

TacosRAwesome · Answer

No thank you.

marish01 · Answer

No. I'm straight.

BrookeS · Answer

Of course, i alway have my toys

FeminineHSP · Answer

As an asexual, that's my dream.

poneglyphs · Answer

Nope, have to have that physical intimacy

AimeeKyle · Answer

Most likely not. But never say never.

Minahh · Answer

I'm a demisexual myself so no problemo

Could you date someone who is asexual?

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Could you date someone who is asexual?

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