Could you date someone who is asexual?

[Anonymous]

[burlen]

I once dated an asexual woman, but I didn't realize she was asexual until our second year together. Our relationship lasted for almost three years, and since then, asexuality has become one of my relationship dealbreakers.

The signs were there during our first year of dating, but I chose to attribute them to her not being overtly sexual and her pious Indian heritage or upbringing. You know, the early months of a relationship tend to be sexually charged. She kept giving excuses such as, "Let's take things slowly," "I'm tired…just from cooking," and "I just want to cuddle with you."

Even on the occasions when we had sex, it felt like a chore for her, as if she was only doing it for me. Fifteen minutes into sex, she would ask the most mood-killing question: "Aren't you done yet?" or "Are you there yet?"

It was in the second year of our relationship that she disclosed her asexuality and suggested I could have sex with other women, as long as she didn't know them, or I didn't get them pregnant.

I felt sorry for her and didn't act on her suggestion. We eventually parted ways in three years, and I swore never to date an asexual person again.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Asexuals are pointless for dating. I don't even give them much thought. Waste of time for both of us. I'm still trying to meet someone who isn't in the danger zone on the hot-crazy matrix.

But hard for me to open up. Met too many examples of the ACLU being wrong to have pushed for Deinstitutionalization in the 70s.

It's made me bitter and anxious. Every new girl I meet, I'm practically counting the days until she finds the dumbest reason to go full tire slasher. Would so love to let my guard down one day, and not be given any reason to regret it. To not have to anticipate that every argument is going to get blown stupidly out of proportion.

But I cut them loose sooner these days than before. I don't let them get extra chances to abuse me. They start that, they're dead to me.

[WonderBell99]

I have not slept with anyone yet, but it would be an immediate no from me. I could never date someone who is asexual because I would like to be intimate with my partner once we get serious.

Even if he is not repulsed by sex, I want someone who has somewhat of a similar sex drive to me. I want someone who matches my passion and I want someone who would like to have sex with me without it feeling like a chore, or as something to just please me.

[Alessa13]

Not if they expect monogamy & loyalty as I don't believe one person should have control over both of us on if we have sex or not.

That gives on person too much control, I suppose I could if they were okay we me getting my needs filled elseware.

Thing is I can't say I'd actually even date someone who is asexual even if they were open about it, that means we are simply not compatable.

[serious]

Of course if one is asexual and the other is not then it will never work.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why would somone do that? If she is asexual, I would just call her a "friend," and I'd look for someone else to date. I don't want needlessly to give up sex for the rest of my life!

[Guardian45]

Agreed!

[MrOracle]

No. That would simply make us incompatibile, and wouldn't be fair to either of us.

[007kingifrit]

tpical quagmire answer

[Avicenna]

No, that is an automatic friendzone. There is no reason to date such a person, especially since there is a crucial component of a relationship that she doesn't want to take part in at all.

[BullShark]

I'm no expert on sexualities, but a friend I once had came out to be asexual, and from what she told me, asexual people, contrary to what some people may think, don't really affiliate themselves with the LGBTQ, and are basically individuals who don't feel any sort of attraction, romantic or otherwise, towards anyone of any gender or sex.

So it's easy to assume they wouldn't really agree to be in a romantic relationship with anyone ever. Like you could if you wanted to, but if you're a person who enjoys getting intimate with their partner, you can forget about all that unless you want to gross them out and push them away. Dating them would pretty much, in simple words, be like any other platonic friendship you have with your other friends. Plain and simple.

[shessoheavy]

Most of us do identity as queer, even those with no same gender attractions, but not all do

[Sour-rose]

Well guess what I am

A goddess such as me to find another... goddess who's also asexual? We will be the best together and rule the world and be able to look down on all horny mortals.

[ArrowheadSW]

When I was 30 I was interested in dating a lady but we had some conversations and she in so many words, revealed that she always had zero interest in sex. Funny though that I ran into her probably about 4 years later and she had just got married and she was with her husband. So fast forward over 15 years later, I looked her up on a public profile site and she was divorced. Of course it could be for any reason but maybe being asexual had something to do with it.

[Lliam]

Absolutely not. I date attractive women because I am looking for a sex partner.
What's the point of dating an asexual? If I was looking for a best friend, I could just as easily choose a dude.

I like heterosexual women with strong libidos who like men and love sex.

There is much more to choosing a woman for a relationship, but love of sex is one of the requirements.

[AdithyaR]

I could yeah. It would depend on whether they're sex repulsed or not. Some asexuals can still have sex because they may enjoy the actual act without needing the attraction or some might not mind doing to please their partner. In those scenarios it would fine if my partner didn't mind the occasional fooling around.
With someone who's sex repulsed, I don't think I'd be able to.

[John_Doesnt]

The evidence for asexualism is flimsy at best. Almost every case where someone claims to be asexual it turns out to either be a medical issue or a mental health issue. There's not much evidence for someone who is actually asexual and not attracted to anybody. I'm open minded and don't judge people's life style, but I believe scientific accuracy should always come first.

[shessoheavy]

Total bs, present your evidence or stfu and sit down. I'm ace and I know tons, all kinds of ages and backgrounds. You're full of shit

[John_Doesnt]

@shessoheavy the burden of evidence is on the person making the claim. Show me actual evidence of asexuality. You're not asexual, you're just a moody teen.

[shessoheavy]

We are in the DSM, burden of proof is on you dumbass

[John_Doesnt]

@shessoheavy "We"? Sounds like a cult of moody teens who can't get laid.

[shessoheavy]

We literally hangout with each, date each other, it's right there for the taking if that's what we wanted. You are just a dinosaur

[John_Doesnt]

@shessoheavy you sound like a moody teen who has never gotten out of the house.

[shessoheavy]

Bet I been more places than you. You sound like what you are. A dumbass

[John_Doesnt]

@shessoheavy going on Instagram and TikTok does not count as going places and your followers are not friends.

[shessoheavy]

Been to 40 states and Mexico. Don't go on tik tok lol. Don't keep up with followers, I only really use insta to keep up with celebrities and fashion influencers. I literally live with two other asexuals, I'm the only one who's single. We have about 50 other asexual friends. And my best friends are not even asexual. What else you got 👂

[John_Doesnt]

@shessoheavy you've been to 40 states on social media and you think that influencers are celebrities.

[shessoheavy]

Ok you are gaslighting now, you lose lmao

[Iron_Man]

What’s the point of that? Basically Its like a male friend but a female gender that’s not called dating that’s called hanging out for the night or the day if you’re not gonna hold hands hug each other eventually , snuggle or kiss then it’s not dating

[NostalgiaSenpi]

That would depend on how they see sex. I may not care about it as much as other men, but I would be lying if I said I didn't care about it at all. If they are repulsed and are not comfortable doing it, no way, I wouldn't want to subject someone to that.

[Levin]

I don't think so.

I'd consider it a pathosis and want to change them.

And you should never want to change your partner.

Besides sex is the best thing ever. And a lot of asexuals are literally disgusted by sex.

[dragoblack]

From reading the comments, aside from "asexual people don't desire sex" is the only part people understand about asexual. Asexual people do desire intimacy unless they are completely ace, meaning if they are willing, you can change sex from being just fucking, to being an intimacy thing. Sex toys, sensation play, bondage... etc. though intercourse is something they have no desire for, doesn't mean all sexual activities are off the table. It's just a matter of talking to them about it.

[nawtee_me]

Asexual reproduction is the internal cloning of the single sex adult reproducing an exact replica as its offspring. People can not do that and therefore cannot be asexual creatures.
You can call something anything you want but it doesn’t make it true. You can put lipstick on a pig but it is still a pig.
The whole premise of people being asexual at its core is based upon a lie.

[shessoheavy]

Thanks boomer, now please sit down and stfu. You embarrass yourself

[nawtee_me]

@shessoheavy You can not change facts just because it doesn't suit you. The facts are people are born male and female with the occasional hermaphrodite that they now know happens when there are twins at conception and one dies and is absorbed by the other in the womb.
Call yourself whatever you like but when you look up asexual it is the reproduction that make it asexual. People can not reproduce asexually so they can not be asexual.

[shessoheavy]

Words can have two meanings. And they call themselves intersex, not "hermaphrodite". Asexuality in human is basically just the opposite of bisexuality. We are not sexually attracted to anyone.

[shessoheavy]

I only date asexuals, but I'm asexual. Nothing wrong with an allo (people who are not asexual) not wanting to date an ace, nothing wrong with an allo and ace being in relationship if they can make it work.

[shessoheavy]

Mangospacho blocked me. and I thought we were the snowflake pussies 🤔

[Quackthulu2]

I could, but I wouldn’t what would be the point?

[Guardian45]

EXACTLY!

[cth96190]

No, because that would be pointless.
The purpose of males and females getting together is to fuck and, thereby, make babies.
If the female was asexual, interaction with her would not fulfil the biological imperative.

[Sleeper07]

No, sex is absolutely important to me. In fact I would take it that, that certain someone is not actually attracted to me to begin with which would turn me off and let me know I'm wasting my time and energy.

[serious]

Nothing new in what you have said. This is normal thinking.

[Anonymous]

Less than 1% of all people born are truly asexual. But I guarantee that you mean the new post millennial under 30 definition of “someone who isn’t interested in sex at the moment” so therefore they claim they are ‘asexual’ because they need so desperately to be different and have some sort of identity…

no, I wouldn’t date one of those asshats.

real asexuals are like spock.

[shessoheavy]

Less than 1% identify with it, you are just trying to keep the world from Changing. A timeless losing battle.

[Opinion Owner]

@shessoheavy hahah ok.
“Identifying” is a mentally unstable persons way of saying “I desperately need to be different so I can get attention”

Actual asexual people don’t “identify” because they are generally not spoiled entitled post millennial shit sticks. They are almost always clinically diagnosed because they are on a spectrum of some sort.

[shessoheavy]

We don't need a doctor's note dumbass, lol

[Opinion Owner]

@shessoheavy right, cause you are part of the “ I make shit up to feel special” group of mentally ill that make our society so fucking garbage.

[shessoheavy]

You make our society shit, progress is inevitable. Not everyone has to be like you, get over it

[Opinion Owner]

@shessoheavy normalizing the insane ideas of mentally ill people is not “progress”.
Your type of belief is what convinces society to cut the dicks of children and tell them they are “real girls”. THAT is not progress!

[shessoheavy]

And you are with people who are determined to make sure those very kids you are talking about want to kill themselves even more. Most of the time HRT for minors does not involve bottom surgery. You are a dumbass. Protect trans kids, and fuck parents who think "parental rights" is tell other parents what they can and can't do with their kids. Go suck DeSantis' cock and kindly fuck off.

[Opinion Owner]

@shessoheavy thats a bullshit scapegoat… suicide rates in trans people actually goes up not down.
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5178031/

Also “dumbass” your shaming tactics and name calling simply prove your ignorance. Child mutilation and hormone treatment does occur in children as young as 8 years old.
www.cbsnews.com/.../

The trans push by media and schools onto young children has confused and indoctrinated feeble minded children into believing things that are not true. If we pushed the idea that humans can be cats to kids the way that trans has been pushed to them, they would all be meowing and wanting tails.

[Apulu_Imback]

I don't mind at all! Instead this is better for me.