Would you date an asexual?

Would you ever date someone if you knew there was no chance of ever having sex?

All the other parts of the relationship would be there hugs, cuddles, sleeping in the same bed, spooning, kisses all the way to maybe a little bit of touching up, but nothing more, no under clothes groping or hand jobs, blow jobs, no sex.

Would you be okay with this? What about if you agreed with your partner that you could look for sex elsewhere and have a sort of friends with benefits thing going, but in the end you would still be dating the asexual?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i would because whilst im not asexual i do prefer diy to sex so if she didn't mind me using porn and masturbating a lot then it could work perfectly

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Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 33

  • I don't understand the point of someone being asexual and then doing all the things you've mentioned. I can't even imagine that. I thought asexual meant free from sexual/intimate desires. All of those things seem fairly sexual and intimate. If sex wasn't on the table, I probably wouldn't. Not even oral sex or handjobs? I probably wouldn't. Probably.

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    • It's not really a thing with a 'point', it's a sexuality. You don't get a choice in it, just like with every other sexuality.

      And there's a difference between sexual orientation and romantic orientation. So someone can be asexual but romantic in that they would want all of the above because it's about the emotional bond, not a physical one.

      Imagine a serial one night stand person. This would be the same but in reverse. Whereas they would want just sex and none of this (they would be sexual but aromantic), the asexual wants all of this but none of the sex.

      Some a sexuals are willing to compromise in that maybe they'd give hand jibs and blow jobs even if they weren't keen on it but wouldn't have sex and the partner would accept the compromise of not having sex but the asexual giving them hand and blow jobs even if they'd prefer not to.

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    • Maybe they would feel it to be an emotional connector. A person who only does one night stands usually doesn't. And they may consent to doing it for the purpose of having kids. It's up to the individual. But from this I assume your answer is no; you wouldn't date them.

    • I don't mean to be selfish but I would like at least other means of pleasure. Like handjobs or oral. If I really loved this woman, I probably don't think her being asexual would be a deal breaker. It depends like you say, on the individual person.

  • No, I wouldn't date an asexual. I want a sex life, it's a requirement. It's not the most important thing but it's important all the same. There is no value in me dating someone but having sex elsewhere. I might as well just not be dating in the first place.

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  • I gotta say u was n a relationship, after she had a child she never really touched me, we slept in the same bed and never had anything. There was no touching, no cuddling, no spooning, no nothing. SMH got out that quick. She didn't want a hug or even hold hands in public.

    now this was after she we had a child together. before she was ripping my clothes off. Sitting on my lap, dry humping me. it was amazing. it all changed after we had a child together.

    guess she used me to have a child lol.

    O well u live u learn.

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    • You do know that the hormones shooting around women's bodies can make them behave differently, including sexually differently, for a while after giving birth? She may have post natal depression that may be lowering her sex drive and making her feel isolated. Or your baby may be her main concern (in keeping with human evolution). Plus birth is traumatic. She has likely just had her vaginal passage, and possibly vulva and other parts of her pelvic anatomy, torn apart by pushing a three to four kilo human out of her body. Either that or her stomach sliced open, possibly while she was still conscious, to pull her baby out.

      You should've given her a while to recover. And you should've given her support. She gave you your child after all.

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    • Are you still in your child's life?

    • yes he is in my life. I get him every other Wendsday to Sunday.

  • I think a lot of people wouldn't. Most people have sexual needs and they need these to be fulfilled, which you can hardly blame them for; it's as much a part of who they are as being asexual is a part of you.

    Personally I wouldn't mind giving it a try. I've never even had sex.

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    • I wouldn't blame them; to each their own. Their wanting sex is just as valid as an asexual not wanting sex. It's just up to what the two individuals could agree on and if it would be a deal breaker or not.

  • Yes I would. Don't care much for sex. We would need it to reproduce though

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  • as long as i can masturbate, sure. i wouldn't want to have a friends with benefits thing on the side though.

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  • This is perfectly acceptable, intamcy can come in many ways. sex is only a single way to be intimate.

    honestly if both parties were willing... you would truly have an amazing bond and strong relationship #datingyourbestfriend

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  • Yes, sex is not the only thing in a relationship , i could go with a girl and not engage in sex. I'm looking for real love in a relationship.

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  • Nope. Relationships aren't all sex for me, but I'll eventually need sex in my life. I can be friends with an asexual, but certainly cannot stay in a relationship with one

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  • No, sex is the deepest and most intimate connection that anyone can experience and if I couldn't experience that with S/O, there's no point in them being my S/O.

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  • No, i'm sorry

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  • That's my ideal relationship (other than looking for sex with others. Don't want it)

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  • Absolutely not.

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  • No this is not acceptable.

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  • No. What you are essentially offering is friendship.

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    • Do you feel up/spoon/date/live with/sleep in the same bed as your friend?

    • I have in the past, minus the living together. What it boils down to is, without the sex, all im getting is blueballs and companionship. May work for a few but probabbly not most.

  • Yeah because sex is gross

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  • Yeah

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  • No, I want kids last time I checked my sperm has to get to her eggs somehow.

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  • If a girl is asexual does not mean you can't have sex with her.

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  • If someone was asexual they wouldn't even date you so...
    No sexual attraction.

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    • Not true. A lot of asexual people date, you can still form romantic feelings for people even though you don't experience sexual attraction

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    • Sorry, not trying to be horrible at all I just don't quite understand that last comment. Could you rephrase it or make it a little more clear please?

    • That's fine basically I know from experience that when an asexual tries dating based on personality it usually ends the relationship because the sexual attraction is never there as well as other issues for the sexual partner. And most people are non asexual so it's a recurring problem hence why most asexuals don't date. Your only hope would be a first timer for dating. Which is very rare hence why I say it never happens because it's like saying will the sun always be up tomorrow? Realistically it will never go away bur it can but the chances are slim.

  • No I couldn't at all

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  • Depends. I slept at my ex's house a couple of times and we would just talk and cuddle as we fall asleep.

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  • Didn't even read anything but the title, the answer is NO

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  • I have dated one😅😅

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  • Never I couldn't

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  • Why would anyone want to ?

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  • I will not date her

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  • yes dear

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  • Absolutely not.

    I've been in a relationship like that and it just steadily made me feel worse and worse and worse.

    And the kisses feel fake after a while too.

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  • Sounds like a married couple after 10 years, but no I would never get involved

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What Girls Said 11

  • I'm asexual, but I still fall in love with people and I still want to date them. I just don't want anything sexual, and I understand that others do want to have sex and I shouldn't take that away from them. I would prefer to fall in love with another asexual person for that reason, but if I didn't I would be ok with them finding other ways or other people to satisfy their needs as long as it didn't go any further than fulfilling their physical needs.

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    • Exactly. I would prefer to be in a relationship with another asexual but there isn't always a possibility of that happeneing as there are so few of us not only around, but who are around and out about it. If I liked someone who wasn't asexual and they liked me as well we could either find an agreement between us or not, and I'm completely aware of the fact there may have to be some compromise on either or both of out parts. I'm not under any illusion that dating as an asexual in this society is easy.

  • I'd actually find that pretty nice. I'm more into the cuddling and all that anyway, so sure.

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  • I don't see much point in a asexual dating if sex is not something they would like to do plus they are not sexually attracted to their partner. Which is a bit odd..

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  • i couldn't do it.

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  • Heck no. I want an adult relationship. Why would I date someone I'm not sexually compatible with?

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  • No. I'd be okay with being friends but not a relationship.

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  • I don't wanna have sex with my girlfriend until we get married, but I'd rather date a lesbian, due to her still having a physical attraction to me.

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  • Are you asexual? And no

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  • Asexual has nothing to do with not having sex. An asexual would more so enjoy pleasing her partner that would turn her on rather than sex itself. It also means it's not the main reason for having relationships. You need to educate yourselves

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    • A Misunderstood Orientation
      Many people hear the word “asexual” and make assumptions about what it means. They think of single-celled organisms in a petri dish. They think of a celibate monk on far off mountaintop. They think of a genderless robot from outer space. Asexuality isn’t any of those things.

      In particular:

      Asexuality is not an abstinence pledge. (Although there may be abstinent aces.)
      Asexuality is not a synonym for celibacy. (There are celibate aces and promiscuous aces and aces everywhere in between.)
      Asexuality is not a gender identity. (Although there may be trans, non-binary, or genderqueer aces.)
      Asexuality is not a disorder. (Although there may be aces with physical or mental conditions.)
      Asexuality is not a choice. (Although not every ace is "born that way".)

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    • You're talking about a sex drive. You can have a huge sex drive and still be asexual, i. e. not experience any sexual attraction. An individual may choose to satisfy that sex drive with someone else, regardless of sexual attraction to them, or they may choose to satisfy it alone.

    • Exactly

  • Ya dun care but he better be okei with givin me babies or bitch I am out!

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  • Doubt I would.

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