Is he right about my diet?

[Anonymous]

My fiancé is a wonderful partner, but lately he’s really been hurting my feelings with his opinions on my diet. I recently expressed frustration to him that, even though I was eating healthy and going to the gym several times a week, I was not losing any weight.

He said that while he does not think I am at all fat, he feels sad that I’m so insecure about my weight and wants to help. He then told me that I am eating too many sweets, and that the exercise I was doing at the gym was “not enough to counteract what I was eating.” He said that he and I both weren’t working hard enough. For context, we were doing 15 minutes of cardio at least 3 times a week, plus arm/leg workouts. The “unhealthy” food I was eating was a slice of whole wheat bread with honey, or some Greek yogurt with honey. Occasionally I brought home diet ice cream (halo top), but didn’t eat it regularly. Most of my meals were lean meats, and I was sometimes only eating broccoli for lunch.

Anyways, I was really hurt because I felt like he was saying I was not doing enough and basically calling me lazy. This was the healthiest I had ever eaten in my life, but after months, I still wasn’t seeing results. Was he right? Do I just need to work harder? I’m afraid of burning out if I give up everything I like to eat. If it makes any difference, I have PCOS.

[Anonymous]

It's important to remember that everyone's body is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. Additionally, conditions like PCOS can make it more difficult to lose weight and to maintain a healthy weight.

It's possible that your fiancé is coming from a place of concern and wanting to help, but it's also important to communicate your feelings and boundaries with him. Let him know how his comments are making you feel and what you need from him in terms of support and encouragement.

It's also important to consult with a healthcare professional who can provide personalized advice and guidance on nutrition and exercise. They can help you develop a plan that is tailored to your needs and health goals.

Remember that a healthy lifestyle is about balance and moderation, and it's okay to enjoy the foods you like in moderation. Don't push yourself too hard or feel guilty for indulging occasionally. Listen to your body and prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

[MementoMori777]

Is he one of those gym dudes?

[Asker]

No. We are both just average people who would both like to lose some weight.

[MementoMori777]

Then maybe he's just trying to be helpful but knows nothing about nutrition

[MementoMori777]

So he thinks just eating is getting fat

[Asker]

Is he right though? Do I need to give up all sweets?

[MementoMori777]

No, with that mentality it would eventually lead to an unhealthy diet, cause he would want you to stop eating in general, you eat your sweets, as long as you keep it healthy and don't eat too much of it, the recommended amount of sugar per day is 100 calories of sugar which is like 24 grams of sugar (approximately 6 teaspoons) so eating a toast with honey or something like that isn't a lot, he is exaggerating, not only that if you control your calories you might be able to take a bit more if it tempts you too much, I'd say do some research on some nutrition and you'll understand how it works, always eating will always get you fat af is not how it works, the body uses many minerals and vitamins we get from foods to function properly and the body needs some sugar, very little compared to others but it uses it

[Asker]

Thank you. I’ll do some more research

[MementoMori777]

💯💯

[OlderAndWiser]

I don't se that the PCOS would be relevant.

You aren't overweight, according to your partner, so perhaps your goal shouldn't be weight loss. Maybe your goal should be to make your body as healthy as it can be and you may already be accomplshing that objective. So perhaps you are simply applying the wrong criterion to judge your success.

[Tyrael]

He did say both of you weren't working hard enough. It doesn't sound like he was picking on you.

15mins of exercise three days a week is definitely better than nothing, however it also will do basically nothing in terms of burning calories. Ideally at least an hour of exercise three days a week would be more suitable.

The very simple way to look at it would be that you gain weight by taking in more calories than you burn off. So you need to combine exercise which burns more calories, with a diet which means less calories coming in. These two steps together should show results.

[Tyrael]

And to clarify, you don't need to give up everything you like to eat. You just need to have it in moderation, alongside the aforementioned exercise/diet.

[Asker]

Yeah, he’s not a mean spirited person so I didn’t think he was picking on me necessarily , but I felt like he wasn’t acknowledging how hard I was working. And he does want me to give up all sweets. He says I shouldn’t have them at all.

[Anonymous]

Diet is more important than exercise for weightless. As most exercises burn few calories. The best thing to do is eat less food.