So i dated this boy 9 months ago and although we got along well it just didn’t work out between us because it wasn’t going anywhere as we both had a fear of commitment. We agreed to stay friends and he told me he had already met someone. I was fine with that as i was already over him at that point. We still talked everyday and i slowly tried to stop the contact as i felt that was the normal thing to do. However, he would double text me and send me another message asking why i was ignoring him.
Carried on talking almost everyday and now we go a couple of days without chatting but still start a conversation every now and then, sometimes updating eachother of our lives. He still makes flirty jokes which i don’t know whether to take seriously. I now have met someone and we’re pretty serious. I told him this and he was pretty upset. About two weeks ago we had a conversation where he said that he wished we tried harder, that there were a lot of wasted potential and that i was too good for him. I’ve seen the new girl he’s chatting to and she’s absolutely gorgeous and they seem really happy together.
I want to bring up that we should stop talking because it’s not fair on our partners + him bringing up the past is hard. He was the first boy i ever dated so i still care about him a lot as i was there for a lot of things that happened in his life. Does he have an ulterior motive, or does he just not want me to move on?
Carried on talking almost everyday and now we go a couple of days without chatting but still start a conversation every now and then, sometimes updating eachother of our lives. He still makes flirty jokes which i don’t know whether to take seriously. I now have met someone and we’re pretty serious. I told him this and he was pretty upset. About two weeks ago we had a conversation where he said that he wished we tried harder, that there were a lot of wasted potential and that i was too good for him. I’ve seen the new girl he’s chatting to and she’s absolutely gorgeous and they seem really happy together.
I want to bring up that we should stop talking because it’s not fair on our partners + him bringing up the past is hard. He was the first boy i ever dated so i still care about him a lot as i was there for a lot of things that happened in his life. Does he have an ulterior motive, or does he just not want me to move on?
What Guys Said
Probably both. Especially when you're young it feels good to have women not be able to move on from you, keep things one sided where it's casual from your end, but they just can't let go of you. Of course, it goes both ways as far as the above is concerned. Then when you have more experience it's just creepy to hold on to people you've let go of or who've let go of you when you look at it objectively.
Most likely he just wants both of y'all and doesn't understand how that can end catastrophically for everyone involved as you're all in monogamous relationships.
Yep! I’ve just ignored him now. Is it better telling him that we should stop contacting each other or just let it fizzle out?
Cut off the contact. You're young, he's young, times they may be changing, but people are the same. When two young people are talking and both of y'all have a chance of being on the rebound down the line, make it so if it happens, it happens with someone else.
Sex with exes is never a pleasant thing, unless you still get along with them pretty well. Like you don't owe anything to someone who's only talking to you because you're part of a fantasy, rather than that they actually want to talk to you.
Even if you do enjoy talking to him, you'll play into that fantasy unless you can just cut off contact, even if it is just for a month or two. Regardless, for you and your SO, it makes no sense to be talking to an ex that often.
The thing is we never had sex and he knows that i’m not going to have sex with him. I think it may be an ego thing but i completely agree with what you said.
He wants you to be his side chick.
Yeahhh, that’s it. Thank you!
You're welcome.
You are still chatting him. That's why
Yeah but when i tried stopping he double and triple texted and it just didn’t seem that big of an issue to reply then cause i didn’t have someone.
That's the problem, he thinks you are easy. Just avoid him for good. Otherwise this will be stigma in your future relationships
He doesn’t think i’m easy because i never had sex with the guy and he knows i won’t be having sex with him. Unless you meant easy in another sense
Chatting is going to be there at some point. So, this mean you don't mind talking to him. Are you feeling alone or something
Not lonely just I still like talking to him, i’d consider him a good friend cause we just get along so well. Only reason i think it’s not right that we’re talking is because we’re moving on with new people.
Nope, you don't think him as just a friend... neither does he. That's how things are between girls and guys, sadly.
i have plenty of guy friends that i would only consider as friends but with him i agree. it’s why i’m trying to end the friendship
Don't worry of it much. He is not a good guy in the first place.