Is it normal for my boyfriend to complain all the time?

[Anonymous]

So he doesn’t complain about me, but whenever we chat he always complains about something, or makes a big deal over small things that are typically ignored (he has adhd so that’s understandable). But it’s like to an extreme amount. It almost seems like he’s doing it for attention, or that him being in pain makes him feel normal/heard?

For instance I recently came down with a bad stomach bug. And when he asked how I was doing, I said I wasn’t doing the well. He then went on to say “im sorry. I woke up with with a bit of a headache too”. Which just annoyed me as he does that ALL THE TIME.
Am I in the wrong for letting this bother me? How can I address it?

[lightbulb27]

sounds like he is trying to relate to you and if you are down, it brings him down as well rather than him remaining positive.

that wasn't complaining in the example, that was a communication, maturity thing. understanding how to support you. you can talk that out.

ADHD... yea, he may have some things to work on. If he complains a lot, he may draw to negative easily. maybe he is a highly sensitive person... lookup the book on that! If so, he needs to learn to guard his heart.

You are really sweet to be thinking and communicating as you are about him, how you phrased that, was very respectful about him and his feelings.

From learnings in all of this, figure out if you two are a good supportive match emotionally. that be important. If you bring him down, then I question if you are a good match. If you are a "melancholy" personality you may be poison to him. Sounds like you aren't but check. If you get depressed, and you like to feel all down in those emotions... ugh, not the right guy... punt him to a girlfriend.

[Hulk_kitty]

You address the behaviour, by speaking to him, and be assertive, and don't shout or be horrible to him about it.

Just say you don't like this complaining all the time, I don't like it. People won't respect your boundaries, unless you say otherwise. People will generally keeping doing the same thing to you, unless you speak up.

the more someone doesn't respect your boundaries, the more they will keep pushing and pushing, and then they do something so big, you can't forgive them.

Ignoring general bad behaviour, leads to more serious bad behaviour.

[Hulk_kitty]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=34brPBse628

[Anonymous]

Why the hell wouldn't a guy be allowed to complain? Women do it all the time. You admit you're complaining, but when he does, taking away attention from your complaint, it annoys you. Everyone has problems and can complain despite these guys here telling you what you want to hear. Tired of the attitude that women can complain, but men are somehow supposed to man up and suck it up.

[Truthatanycost]

I wouldn't allow any of that into my life, why are you? It's toxic!

[Anonymous]

No its not, and that's gotta be very annoying for you.

[riverrat3]

Is he that unhappy