This guy used to have a crush on me.
Ill be honest. I’ve gained weight since he last saw me. Why? Trauma. A lot of it, but I’m not going to play any violins here. Just know I’m working on it. Anyway, I’m a pretty attractive woman, or at least I was before I gained more weight. Guys would turn to look at me, I was often the girl that stood out and I knew it.
So this guy walked by me and my friend the other day. We were on a street and he was walking past. I was pretty excited to see my friend in that moment and we were both talking. While I was talking to her I felt a male gaze on me. No seriously. Ask any woman, at times we can feel a guy watching us before we’ve even seen it ourselves. So basically I knew I was being watched. It wasn’t a great feeling. I look up and I see a pair of eyes staring right back and immediately look elsewhere as I’m already creeped out.
Anyway, he doesn’t stop looking. He’s glaring at me, kind of like he’s bothered or just not happy with me. I don’t know who it is at this point and I’m waiting for him to look away so I can sneak a peak to see if I know him. Eventually he does look away, and I mean a good 6-7 seconds later at least. If even that. As soon as I looked at him he has only just blinked and turned his head towards my friend. Now my friend is beautiful, I mean she’s a 8/10 at least. When he looked at her his initial expression was different. His eyes weren’t sharp anymore, they were almost normal. I know he was slightly attracted to her because he looked at me like that once. Yes I recognise him now. Anyway I looked away again after that.
So I don’t know. I don’t know if he was looking at me displeasingly because of my weight gain or if he was just unsure if it was me. I don’t know if he was just lost in thoughts or if his intimidating expression had changed since I barely looked back the whole time he saw me. Maybe it’s my insecurities speaking. What do you make of this?
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Why do you women overthink things? If he's a typical guy, he probably thought he knew you, and was looking to see if he did, or at least remembered you. He kept on walking, convinced himself that he probably didn't know you (because you looked different) or he did remember you and is no longer interested.
Wasn’t overthinking anything. He was looking for a very long time to the point it was full on eye f-king. To the my 6 sense was telling me someone’s looking. Any woman would be a bit concerned why a random guy is giving her what appears to be dirty looks, let alone a guy she saw a few years ago that she never had any issues with.
Glad men don’t need to worry about a man’s gaze like that but don’t tell us we overthink when we are the gender who suffers from the most cases when it comes to sexual abuse, stalking, domestic violence etc. Men are the gender that commit the most crimes, especially what I’ve stated above. My point is, a woman will be just a little bit concerned even if she’s not concerned to the point of going online to ask. I’m just saying it’s quite silly ask why women “overthink”.
You know why we overthink. It’s not that hard to understand.
It's hard to say for certain why this guy was staring at you in town, as there could be a number of possible explanations. It's possible that he recognized you and was surprised by the change in your appearance, or it's possible that he was simply lost in thought and happened to be looking in your direction.
However, it's important to remember that other people's opinions or reactions to your appearance do not define your worth as a person. It's okay to have insecurities, especially when going through a difficult time, but it's important to work on building self-confidence and focusing on your own growth and well-being.
If you're feeling self-conscious about your appearance, it might be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or therapist about your feelings and work on developing a positive self-image. Remember, you are more than your physical appearance, and your worth as a person is not determined by anyone else's opinion.
I honestly don’t know how to go about it, like actually getting fit again. I just spiralled into a depression and what seemed easy to maintain before is no longer natural for me. I know I just need to be more active and eat healthier, I’m just not sure how long I can make it last and I’m so damn tired.
I mean it did hurt because I really thought this guy was attractive too. We kind of hand unfinished business so seeing his reaction to me after some time has got to me. I gained 42 pounds so it’s silly to say he hadn’t noticed. I guess I’m just sad that I’m not attractive to him anymore because I still find him very attractive.
Thank you for your kind words and detailed response. I appreciate it
You’re very much welcome. It's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and unsure about how to get started with getting fit again, especially when dealing with depression and other challenges. It's important to remember that making lasting lifestyle changes takes time and effort, and that it's okay to start small and take things one step at a time.
Some potential strategies for getting started with a healthier lifestyle could include setting achievable goals, finding a form of exercise that you enjoy and can stick to, seeking support from friends or a professional, and focusing on the positive changes you're making rather than dwelling on setbacks or slip-ups.
It's also important to remember that your worth and value as a person are not defined by your physical appearance, and that there are many other qualities and traits that make you attractive and valuable to others.
As for the guy you saw, it's important to remember that his reaction or opinion of you does not define your worth or attractiveness as a person. It's possible that he may have been surprised or taken aback by your physical appearance, but it's also possible that he simply had other things on his mind or was not intentionally trying to make you feel bad.
Ultimately, it's up to you to decide how to approach this situation and to prioritize your own emotional well-being. If you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure about how to get started with a healthier lifestyle or dealing with body image issues, it may be helpful to seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional. They can provide guidance, support, and resources as you work towards a healthier and happier you.
Hmmm I could be a bit of both honestly. I've seen girls who have gained weight where I was like dammnnn whu happenn😦🤔. Maybe he was tryna see if it was you because as you said he did like you and you say you're really attractive, perhaps he was making sure it was you. But also it depends on how much weight you gained too. If you gained quite a bit then probably that's what it is. And if you say you friend is fine as fuck too then we'll he liked what he saw there too
I gained 42 pounds :/
Yeahh that could do it
So you think he was basically looking in shock horror?
Nahh I wouldn't go that Farr haha but he couldn't just be like oh shitt she gained some weight🤔.
Couldve
So embarrassing 😳. Anyway thanks for answering
Haha don't worry about it tooo much you know you're hot, just if you don't like the weight, do something about it and it seems you are trying which is all you can do. at least if you lose the weight you know you'll look really good. Now I'm not saying you don't look good nowww. it's just Im sure you looked better with less weight.. my POINT is😂 at least you know you'll look good as fuck when you lose it. Not everyone gets that privilege. Some are still unattractive just with less weight now I was tryna to cheer you up but I'm only good with giving advice not helping people feel better😆
I dunno man. It’s hard to get back to that and maintain it. I’ve just been diagnosed with ADHD as well so I’m hoping the meds would make it easier for me to commit to something or being open to trying new things in terms of sports because I loved sports and I just ditched everything I had a passion for and got more miserable.
Anyway, me and this guy had amazing chemistry before that. I’ve never experienced anything so strong before. So it’s a shame that he’s burned bridges with his stupid looks because if I do manage to lose it again, guess who’s getting ignored or left on read? Lol