Does he need some space or does he not want us not to continue anymore?

[Anonymous]

I have been seeing a guy for almost 3 months. Things have been going great and he started opening up to me and visa versa. He is an event host and last week he told me that a few girls tried to cause trouble for him. Basically accusing him of rape because he wouldn’t allow them to dance on stage. Thankfully with the security cameras they could determine that he didn’t go anywhere with them. But it took a few days for police to investigate this. It caused him a lot of stress. I’m glad he confided in me. He even said he was considering whether he should still see me as it affected him. I explained to him that I’m comfortable around him and that have a lot of respect for him. On Saturday I messaged him to ask if he was ok and if he was having a good day but he didn’t reply. A few hours later I texted again saying I can understand how stressful the situation was and if he wants me to leave him be until he feels ok then I’m fine with that. He replied and said he was so sorry and had a busy day.. do you think he wants to avoid me now? Especially since he said he was considering whether he should still see me. Or do you think he just needs space? Or worse, could he have been making up what he told me just to cut me out of his life?

[Anonymous]

Based on what you've shared, it sounds like your guy is going through a difficult and stressful time, and he may need some space to process his feelings and deal with the situation at hand. It's understandable that he may be feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about his relationships, including his relationship with you.

It's important to give him the space and time he needs to deal with his situation, while also letting him know that you're there for him if he needs you. It's possible that he may need to take a step back from the relationship for a while, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to cut you out of his life completely.

It's also possible that he may have been telling the truth about the situation he's dealing with, and it's not fair to assume that he would make something like that up just to cut you out of his life.

Ultimately, the best way to know where things stand is to communicate openly and honestly with him. Let him know that you care about him and that you're there to support him, but also respect his need for space if that's what he needs right now.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice. How much space should I give him? Is 1 week a good amount of time to give him space and then check in on him to see how he is?

[Opinion Owner]

It's difficult to say exactly how much space you should give him, as everyone's needs and circumstances are different. However, one week could be a good starting point to give him some space and time to process things. After a week, you could check in on him to see how he's doing and if he's ready to talk or spend time together again. It's important to be respectful of his feelings and boundaries, and to not push him too hard if he's not ready.

[Asker]

Sounds good. Do you think If I wait and let him reach out to me then he may think that I don’t care?

[Opinion Owner]

It's natural to worry about that, but if you give him the space he needs and don't constantly reach out to him, it will show that you respect his need for space and that you care about his well-being. If he is genuinely interested in maintaining the relationship, he will reach out to you when he's ready. Just be patient and don't pressure him.