The other day he said he loves me now I'm on DND?

[Anonymous]

We've known each other for about two years. He says he loves me but for some reason he put me on DND. He recently broke up with his girlfriend for me but he also has a new baby and a bm. My friends don't know him at all but they say he's probably cheating. I waited two hours but I'm still on DND and I blocked him. I'm so confused. Why's he doing this?

Updates

11 mo

DND=Do not disturb
Bm= baby mama

Updates

11 mo

He took me off of do not disturb and I unblocked him but I’m not ready to talk to him.

Updates

11 mo

I unblocked him and we talked and hung out. Then he was showing me something on his phone and I saw a text from another girl so I got out of there. I text him saying he was a bad person but after that night I haven't heard from him. My bestie is trying to get me out of the house to do fun stuff so I'm not temped to reach out to him again.

[lightbulb27]

This is a "train wreck". Please find some wise council to guide your life and a guy that doesn't have other major priorities and issues.

I'd communicate, you are moving on and that he needs to focus on building his family with his bm and child. You support him in doing that! And move on.

Clearly... he's not good at communication, commitment, emotional support... possibly financial. Find someone better...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Listen, girl.

When a man loves you, you will know. You will know with all of your senses. It will make you cry with happiness to see someone loves you so hard, it will clear all the doubts you’ve ever had, when a man really loves you, you will feel like you are can fly, free and happy, and you will trust him with your eyes closed because you know - he would rather shoot himself than hurt you. That’s the type of love I’ve experienced and I refuse to believe there’s love less than this.

Doesn’t matter what he said, if a man doesn’t love his child, if a man doesn’t respect the mother of his child, he’s not ready to love and be loved and he’s not going to love you.

I am sorry to be harsh, but that’s it, he doesn’t love you or anyone, but himself. It’s better you realize it before you become his another “baby mama”.

[Sunssong]

That was beautiful. My heart loved that but you're wrong. Some people won't know. In those cases it has nothing to do with the guy and all to do with the girls conditioning.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@Sunssong Well, that’s how I felt when I was loved.

[Sunssong]

It should feel like that, in a healthy person. I think her problem is she is very ignorant and her subconscious is attached to him.

The subconscious promotes behavior and really everything. It controls your logic, perception, and more. Until her subconscious sees this is impossible she's probably not gonna stop. It's sad. Reminds me of Dua Lipa's New Rules.

[Anonymous]

if it's still early why are you there? look for someone that is not compromised with a small child with another woman, that's just bad start.

[Asker]

I love him but I'm worried that he's not actually interested especially with putting me on Do not disturb. And the other day we were supposed to meet up and he said he fell asleep

[Opinion Owner]

I think you should try to move on, love is hard to find but trust it will come again. we sometimes confuse love with just a strong feeling as well. if he is treating you this way now, Imagine few months or years from now? ... it's the early stages and he's supposed to be the most attentive now as with time people lose the spark, it just seems bad from what you have told us so far. I'd move on cry a few days get it out and just forget that guy find someone worth your time.

[Asker]

As much as I didn't;t want to hear this I guess I really needed to hear it. I was just hoping I was wrong.

[Asker]

Anyways thanks

[Opinion Owner]

I always feel that if it's mean to be he will go back to you if you try to go your own way, if he doesn't it just means what it was initially, he was not worth your time and you can now find someone that is.

good luck! I hope you find a happy beginning somewhere else.

[Asker]

Well I blocked his number and on all my social media so even if he wants to come back he can't

[Opinion Owner]

if he really wants you, he will find a way. there's always a way to find someone.
yet regardless it just seems you can find someone without compromise, he has a brand new kid, it's just far from ideal, so if he doesn't come back it' should not be a regret of any kind.

[Asker]

Was he just gaslighting me by saying he loves me?

[DermalPunch]

Why do you love him?

"I'm worried that he's not actually interested"

What more do you need? You've known him two years and he won't even text respectfully? Is he the only man in place where you live? What is so amazing about him. There are many men out there who are good lovers who are actually decent. You need to work on yourself to be with one of them. Start by going fully No Contact so you can get this individual out of your system and elevate yourself.

[TheThingALing]

"Why's he doing this?"

Better question, why you doing this to yourself?

[Asker]

I don’t know I’ve just liked him for so long. I try to be understanding of him because he had a difficult life but now I’m unsure of how I feel.

[Avicenna]

Your friends are probably correct.

[Avicenna]

Either way, it's not a situation you want to get into

[Asker]

Was I wrong to block him?

[Avicenna]

no...

[ZackBan]

So 3.97 billion men in the world of all shapes sizes and colors and you picked the one who's got a girlfriend and a baby mama AND all kinds of issues including commitment issues.

And that's not the shocking part. The shocking part is you casually asking about it on a forum like this one as if someone on the internet will actually have a solution for you other than RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

He said he loved you? Do you know how easy it is to say that?

I love you.

There I said it, that's all it took

[DermalPunch]

Oh yeah guys lie and say I love you no shame all the time. In all my years I think only one was genuine.

[Emelina]

He is a waste of your time, he is immature and just a big player. Everyone has a sad story about the past, but if he wants to build a better life for himself, he would think differently as not to repeat the past, and not take advantage of others by saying feel sorry for me so treat me nice and ill treat you like crap whenever I feel like it. Not fair to you. My own thoughts.

[whorable]

let him know you need communication or you’re not going to stay long. if he’s going through something it’s best to tell you or at-least let you know if it’s not the best time to date right now.. and maybe he put everyone in dnd.. my phone has it set automatically for everyone after a certain time. but you definitely let him know if he doesn’t stsrt letting you know what’s going on you’re leaving.

[hbg84]

Ok seriously just move on from this douche waffle. He's only gonna break your heart and turn you into damaged goods. This dude you trying to fuck with is damaged goods. He got a kid and baby mama drama. You don't want any thing to do with all that.

Tell him good bye block him and move on. You'll only end up heartbroken if you continue down this path with this dude and his baby mama drama.

Any guy that will leave his baby mama for you is not a good person.

[DermalPunch]

Do you not think more of yourself than to be entertaining this guy? Did you read your post? If this was someone else's post, what would you say to them?

[DermalPunch]

Anyway the reason why he said he loved you and then basically blocked you is because he wanted to make sure you would be thinking about him while he goes with -- jo offense-- his real/main woman. Now you know.

[Gent207-2]

This is a cluster fuck if I've ever seen one too bad Jerry is dead and Maury is retired because this would make great TV

[StormChaser838]

Girl, u are two timing with a two timer, u should have known, what else do you accept?

[Luopio27]

What is a two timer?

[Asker]

I didn't two time. I met him when he was single and we dated then I broke up once I found out he got a girl pregnant. Then he reached out to me a few months ago and said that his bm was with someone else and he was with another girl and broke up with her because he wanted me back.

[StormChaser838]

FUCK HIM LITTLE ONE, RUN WHILE U CAN. Spend the time getting a human boyfriend. That guy seems like an animal, having sex with him is beastiality.

[Coden7]

My phone is on do not disturb 90 percent of the day. Between all the apps I have that want my attention, it was just easier to silence the phone to stop all the vibrating alerts

[RingOfFire]

He's playing childish games with you and he can't be trusted. You need to move on.

[Sunssong]

You should run. You're in more danger than you could ever realize. Life and death

[red324]

How do you know you're on do not disturb mode? Two hours? You gotta be more patient, quit blowing his phone up.

[Asker]

It said he has his notifications silenced

[BrookeS]

Was he cheating with you when he broke up with the other girl?

[Asker]

No he told me he broke up with her first

[Pterodon]

There’s all kinds of red flags and baggage here. Run. You’ve been warned

[smashleyy]

That man does not love you

[DermalPunch]

He is disgusted by her lack of respect for herself actually.

[smashleyy]

don’t think that matters. even if she had/has self respect he still wouldn’t be able to respect her cause his actions show he doesn’t even respect himself. can’t give someone something you don’t give yourself

[DermalPunch]

@smashleyy it's understood he doesn't respect himself. We need to turn the discussion away from him. He does not matter. She has to realise she matters. He needs to be the past. He's kept her as his pick-up-the-slack girl for two years and says a bunch of fake lovey dovey garbage to keep her there. He is selfish and immature.

[LovingJo]

Because he's playing you. Sorry

[Blueeyes81]

This sounds like a mess. Do better.

[TracyF]

Unblock the man and wait for him to contact you.

[Asker]

Why?

[Asker]

Why because I’m still on do not disturb so obviously something is going on that he doesn’t want me knowing about and he’s not responding to any of my texts. At first I thought it was because he’s looking for a job but it’s been 24 hours so it’s something else and I’m guessing he’s getting together with his baby mama or ex or something. I don’t want to wait forever for him.

[TracyF]

Then don't, just ignore him and live your life. If he complains that you've been doing such cool stuff without him tell him he shouldn't ignore you. Trust me you don't want to tell him that all you've done in his absence is wait. In his absence, party. Make him upset that he ignored you, but not in an overt way.

[Asker]

I blocked him on everything so he won't even know what I've been doing, but it's ok. Maybe I'll unblock him once I start having fun without him. :)

[TracyF]

Yes 👍

[Asker]

He took me off dnd and I unblocked him but I don’t want to talk to him right now. I’m still debating if I should move on.

[TracyF]

Let him make the first move.

[Asker]

He reached out and said hello but I haven’t texted him back

[TracyF]

Is this a guy you really like? Do you see an actual relationship with him?

[Asker]

Yes I love this guy. I know he’s been through a lot of trauma so I try to be patient with him but it’s just hard. I sent him a text but I made it seem like a butt dial lol! I’m not sure what to do with him. Should I cut him off or hear him out? I’m not sure. What do you think?

[TracyF]

He deserves at least one shot. Especially if you love him.

[Lynx122]

This will end badly.

[DermalPunch]

The problem is that it won't end. If only it would end. That would be an improvement.

[mommymommymommy]

Dungeons and dragons?