I matched a girl on tinder but she doesn’t want to meet, thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Firstly, I know this woman owes me none of her attention. I’m just curious what other peoples takes are because truthfully I’m pansexual and almost exclusively have dated men I never fully understood women.

I matched a girl on tinder and we’ve been talking for about a week and things seem to be going well. I’ve never been good at advancing things with women always seems like we just endlessly talk until one of us moves on and unmatches the other. To combat this I tried to advance things quicker with her and today about a week into us knowing each other I asked her if she wanted to go get lunch sometime. And she said “for sure” and I asked her when’s she free and she said “depends”. I asked her depends on what and she said school. She said if she wasn’t trying to graduate by August she wouldn’t care we could go today but she’s trying to focus on her school work. Which in most instances I’d be fine with that answer. However she just went out with a bunch of her friends last night until like 3 in the morning and got drunk.

So while I’m aware she owes me absolutely nothing, I can’t help but wonder if you’re so concerned about school why go out all not but not spend an hour or two to get lunch and talk? We both are relationship oriented, seem to like each other and share a lot of the same interests. So what’s the holdup? And how do I approach this situation? Because truthfully I don’t wanna just chat for 3 months on tinder In the hopes she decides to wanna meet.

You’re overreacting

She’s not that into you

Give it some more time

[WonderBell99]

You’re not overreacting. I totally understand how you feel. Yes, some people are more complicated than others and I’ve been in a similar situation before. Does she reply to your texts whenever she’s online? Or does she get back after 2-3 days?

It seems like she is not sure about how she feels about you and she might be a bit stressed from her finals. Are you sure she is on Tinder to look for a relationship and not a hookup or anything short term? If someone has more important, time consuming things to focus on, they shouldn’t be out there looking for a relationship. It won’t work out either. The initial stages are the most important. You need to allocate some time for your partner and get to know them better and establish some chemistry that isn’t just based on appearance or lust.

You don’t need to wait for 3 months. Give her a month. If she keeps stalling, tell her that you’re not interested anymore. It is a bit too fast to meet someone that you matched with only a week ago. She might not feel that safe with you yet. While one cannot feel safe after just texting for a month, it is possible that she might feel more comfortable after getting to know you a little bit more.

[Levin]

It's like anything fellow, it comes down to self-respect.

Theoretically, you can ask someone out and they can be busy. And maybe you should not be dissuaded from that. But generally, it would indicate to me that that person is not interested, or there's something else going on for them, if they're not making definite plans. You shouldn't feel like you're constantly chasing someone. By all means ask her again but if she makes another excuse then you should probably move on.

Part of me sympathises with what the fellow below says. Tinder and dating apps aren't so good for men in general. Maybe you'd fair better with real life interactions?

[OlderAndWiser]

She gave you an excuse. It has happened to all of us. Get over it.

[TooHot2Care]

Wow, remember when you were in the same situation and guys were dicks to you and women were dicks to you and you decided : "The cycle of dicks ends with me."

But that didn't happen, did it, Gary? -_-

[TooHot2Care]

Tbh it means she ain't that into you, and its like. . . . When a girl isn't that into a guy it means that his persona isn't matching up with his appearance and his vibe is just off.

[Kaamraj]

Most women are on dating apps purely for validation reasons, they have no interests in actually going out because they know that they can do it anytime they want. So don't waste your time on them by pursuing. Just unmatch her and move on.

[OddBeMe]

Jesus as an lgbt+++ supporter we got you guys settled on basic labels. Just for marketing purposes. I had to look up pansex and not sure how it’s different from gay or bi…

[Chthou95]

Why are you on Tinder? You shouldn't be on there especially if you're a guy. Get off that shit. And 2 things 1. She wasn't interested and only on there for attention or 2. She's a bot

[Iron_Man]

That’s a hook up side stay completely away from it. Total waste of time.

[Smashingdoozy]

Sounds like she isn't sure on what she wants

[Anonymous]

LMAO, Tinder?

Stop wasting your time.

[boobliker]

it's a crock of sh1t