In my head — how do I approach my boyfriend about it and how do I cope with my anxieties?

Question

I’m really happy with where my boyfriend and I are but I basically don’t vibe well with some of his friends. I don’t dislike them necessarily (except for two… that’s for a different post tho LOL) but we just have such strikingly different personalities that I find it hard to connect and make those “close friendship” type relationships with. When we’re all together it makes me end up being quiet and when I’m quiet I feel like I’m coming across stand off-ish but really it’s just that I don’t find a place for me to fit in to conversation (they’re talking about people or things I don’t know, for example). They’ve made comments about other people being “bitches” because they’re stand off ish and quiet and it makes me think “well do they think I’m a bitch bc I’m quiet?” I’ve tried to engage in conversation but it’s like pulling teeth sometimes (and I don't know.. I feel like with the right person I can be pretty outgoing and conversational).

I’m in my head because I’m afraid that it’ll take a toll on our relationship long term. I don't know. I don't know if I should even try talking to my boyfriend about this and if so what would I even say? I feel a little insecure. I can’t explain why. I feel a little jealous maybe? Also can’t explain why.

Can anyone help decipher my emotions?

ohsheeT · Answer

First of all you find yourself you believe in yourself 100% confident and then you realize that no matter what no matter what person in this world if they don't give you reason to love them and believe in them and why are you with them you have to first of all believe in yourself you have to give all of yourself into that relationship with confidence smartness being wise if you have any negative thoughts about it it's going to tear you up so either you believed it he's doing something and you walk away are you believe in yourself knowing that it's just a matter of time before anybody gets caught but as long as you did your part that's all that counts if you have any doubt in your mind that he's not trustworthy or that he's doing something you can't be with him because all you're doing is wasting time because sooner or later you're going to end it so make a choice what this is really about is you not him you need to know who you are you need to know your strengths that way you know exactly what you're going to do when something happens that you don't like you are ready set go and you don't look back this is not about him this is about you and you having the willpower the strength to do what you need to do to make your life the way you want it don't live in that world of what if because it's a waste of time and energy you want a person that is just like you that has the confidence that has the trust that can communicate with each other and you give each other no reason to doubt that relationship that's what a real relationship is not one where you're hanging on to your seat not one when you have anxiety and you're pacing around wondering this wondering that that is not life find yourself become who you want to become it is your choice and follow through if he's not doing anything he will prove it to you if he really loves you and you walk away he will follow you and he will straighten his shit up but you need to step up to yourself and become that person that you want to become and follow through there's nothing wrong with that there are so many guys out there they would love that girl

In_Trance · Answer

Yes... tell him you think his friends are dickheads and if he's going to hang out with them, you want no part of it.  Except for the two... you'd have a threesome with those guys

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Here is where you start to isolate your boyfriend from his friends.

In my head — how do I approach my boyfriend about it and how do I cope with my anxieties?

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