Do you think that a 30 year old guy who’s never dated will get rejected a lot for his inexperience?

[Anonymous]

To me, it seems like that’s how its gonna be. Most women don’t want to date men who are at an older age and have no experience, so I get the feeling that guys in this situation are stuck in a catch-22 of going out on dates, only to be rejected every time once the woman finds out he has no experience. So basically dating really just an endless cycle of rejection for older inexperienced men.

Yes

No

Depends on why he’s inexperienced

[ZXCwWRQWz]

Yeah but depends who you try to ask out and when. So you got no game. But you have some purity hopefully even if you jerk off rigorously to porn now and then (who doesn't do that?). And you won't take a woman for granted.

So what you have to do is hang out a lot with men and women. You gotta get used to talking to both. Build some skill. Then when your skills work on a woman, you snatch that opportunity and shift the conversation to an invitation.

[Asker]

But if they’re just gonna reject me for having no experience, then there’s no point in doing any of that.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

There's a lot of point in doing that. That's how you build experience and skill. If you try a sport for the first time and fail, do you give similar excuse? Should Rocky have quit the first time he ever got knocked down?

[Asker]

But you can’t build experience or skill if its a rejection rate of 100% so despite doing all of that, you will be universally rejected by women just because you have no experience and nothing changes at the end of the day.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

If you are trying horseback riding and fall of the horse 100% of the time, that doesn't mean you aren't building skill and reducing the chances of not falling off the next time.

Definitely it is a disadvantage to have never dated until 30. You got a lot of social course correction to do for sure to improve your chances. But this isn't a rocket science. Even people who are illiterate are getting dates left and right. You just have to figure it out. Take notes.

The worst advice you can get is "just be who you are and wait for the special someone." That might work for girls who barely ever ask anyone on a date but it doesn't work for guys. The guy advice is, "Keep improving who you are until that special someone actually wants to date you."

[Asker]

Yeah but the two aren’t really comparable though. The horse isn’t gonna ask you if you’ve ever ridden a horse before and kick you off if you say no. But women will usually ask about your past relationships and dating history and that’s where things will end every single time, so there’s no way to get better because you’re always gonna be cut short.

I would go further than disadvantage and say that it’s pretty much a death sentence to a solitary life. Those illiterate people probably started dating as teens and never had to deal with this situation, most don’t and can’t relate to what its actually like and how being alone for life seems like the outcome that will happen at this point. So there’s no point in even improving if women will continue to write you off for this one thing that is beyond your control.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

And if you are sensitive gentleman type who genuinely feels hurt when he intrudes upon another woman's feelings, then don't. Just ask the women you engage in conversation with very casually like, "I know a place and I'd like to take you there." But don't do insecure language like, "It's okay if you don't want." That's obvious already (she can reject that offer just as easily without the insecure disclaimer, and that insecure disclaimer has a tendency to make women more uncomfortable) and just showing your insecurity. And if she rejects, no problem -- next woman.

[Asker]

I do that, then she asks about my dating history and that’s where it ends, then the exact same thing happens when the next woman and so on...

[ZXCwWRQWz]

I wish we can meet up in person. I'm an old married man but I really believe I can get you some game, and I suspect your desire is wife and very noble that way. I will get you a good wife. There are many things that you might think is so hard, maybe even impossible, but I think I can show you in person that it's not. You overestimate the difficulty of this; understandably because you're so inexperienced, but also I think you underestimate the patience of a good woman. You don't have to be smooth as ice to catch a girl and no one really is. If we compare to films, all of us are dorks tripping over things and saying dumb shit left and right. Girls know that.

[Asker]

I don’t want to get married, that is bot my end goal and never has been. I don’t think I’m overestimating at all, there’s just no scenario where you aren’t rejected every single time over and over again because you don’t have experience.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

Have some fun with rejections in that case, perhaps. Where did you go wrong? And also notes on where you went right like if you got a girl laughing, flirting, what did you do right?

[Asker]

There is no right or wrong for me, I have never asked a girl out and now it is too late to do so because the inexperience guarantees me rejection

[ZXCwWRQWz]

The ultimate way to be a loser in any sport is to say you have no chance to win without participating. You know that already.

[Asker]

Except in this instance having no chance to win is the reality

[ZXCwWRQWz]

I'll claim you are severely discouraged and delusional. No offense intended but I don't think you are perceiving reality so clearly. You are too hard on yourself.

[Asker]

I’m perceiving reality perfectly clearly. People who are not in this situation will just always be in the outside looking in, not knowing how it actually feels to be doomed to a solitary life because of something that is beyond your control and requires another person to change, with those people turning their back on you.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

When you go to a shopping mall looking at all sorts of average people of mediocrity walking around, and you spot some mediocre guy who can barely read and speaks broken English with a girlfriend or wife he loves, do you think you're lesser than him in some way?

[Asker]

Yes because I know that women would still choose him over me because he has experience and I don’t.

[Anonymous]

Without question. Some women will tell you it's OK to them but they're lying both to you and themselves. If you've never dated or dated very little you don't tell her that s***. And if she asks you lie about it. You can thank me later.

[Asker]

Have you ever been rejected for being inexperienced?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes. Which I why I know to lie.😆

[Opinion Owner]

I try not to lie whenever possible though so it's best to just not let on. Never give a reason to ask or suspect.

[Anonymous]

There's a lot you're supposed to learn in your teen years and 20s. I might let a guy fuck me one time if he needed it but I would not go near a relationship with a guy that old with no experience.

[Asker]

Lol so you’re basically saying that if a 30 year old inexperienced guy was begging you to let him fuck you, then you’d let it happen, but a relationship with him is a no go?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I've done that before.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, he better not say about anything about his lack of experience.

[Asker]

What if a girl asks him about past relationships or dating history?

[ColHathi]

Are you talking about sexual inexperience, or dating inexperience in general?

[Asker]

Both