My mom is the type of women who never lets anyone tells her what to say. if she wants something done, she’ll ask once and if said person takes longer than a minute to reply she’ll get it done herself. she yells at her husband to get things done. it’s a mess and i hate it. i’ve sadly have become a splitting image of her. i don’t like it, it’s something that just happens. i’ve come to realize that it happens a lot when i’m around my boyfriend. i try my hardest to get my way with him always. he doesn’t like it and says things to get his way then i get even more angry and we start arguing. i’m at home 24/7. i don’t have a job, i don’t have any friends. the only people i hangout with is my family and my boyfriend (if he decides to hangout with me) i hate the way i’ve become. i’m in online school to become a medical assistant and i can’t wait to finish. i work with my mom 2 times a week so i barely make any money to pay for my car, insurance and credit card bills. i’ve been applying for jobs on indeed but no luck. anyway, i’ve been wanting to go see a therapist for a long while now, but i don’t have any money to see one. i hate who i am. i was never like this and it’s driving me crazy. yes, y’all are going to say “so just change” it’s easier said than done. i’ve tried but it ends up backfiring on me. I don't know, i want a break from this house, i want a break from my boyfriend and get back into my feminine energy. i feel like i’m carrying masculine energy and i hate it. i’m exhausted. any tips on how to get back into your feminine energy? any tips on how to release that feeling of wanting to get your way?
I hate who I have become and it’s so hard for me to change?
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By making the choice and being aware not living your life on auto pilot so when somthing happens and u see u are wanting your way put in the effort to make sure u don't have it u can't just make the feeling go away but over time u will accept it not sure how having a break from your boyfriend will help here unless u are unhappy with him
You need to submit to your man and let him lead the relationship. If he won't lead then find a man who does, stop arguing, stop bitching, and know your place. If you can't do this then buy a dog and die alone.
he knows how to lead. he’s done it many times before. i completely understand that i need to know my places, i’ve done it many times before. i’m just lost in who i am now. watching my mom be in her masculine energy, got to me. this is the kind of relationship i have to look up to. my mom has always had this alpha female energy. in a way she has taught me to be that way, but i don’t want to and it makes me sad.
My wife has also had these sorts of issues with her mother and it's caused her a lot of grief, so I told her to distance herself from her as much as she can it has helped tremendously. I recommend you do the same, so if at all possible find a new way to get money and see if you can move in with your guy.
i think once i finish school in October, i’ll find a job asap and leave home. i don’t think he would want to move in with me tbh. yesterday i put him under the bus with his “friend” they were both at my moms house working in his car. he owed me money that i let him borrow and i needed to pay a bill with that and he never gave it to me. he then said that his mental health was important and i told him that his mental health will be better if he paid back money that he owes me. i then went inside then he came to my room telling me how messed up that was and now his friend wants to know what is wrong.