The photo shows a page from housekeeping monthly published in 1955, you may need to enlarge it to read. It sets out how to be a perfect wife and although old, it is pretty close to what a lot of men on GAG, particularly in America, would like women to be like.
I would argue that if you want this from a wife then you need to have something special to offer in return. I would extend that to those men who want this usually have the least to offer us and are merely shifting the blame onto women to cover their own inadequacies when rejected.
Thoughts.
Men aren't perfect so why do they expect their partners to be?
I recently asked a question around this and about 1/3 of gals would like to be Stay At Home and 1/3 of guys would like a SaH. Another significant number wanted to be SaH during child bearing & raising period of their life and again matched by the guys.
So I think you assertion that the guy needs to be special if he wants a SaH because equal numbers both want this.
I think it is under appreciated how much work in the home has been eliminated. I live in an apartment so a lot of the traditional male & female housework is no more. No lawn to mow, no yard work. Hard yacka immediately goes in an apartment. Hard surface floors about 10 minutes to clean. An electric blower does the dusting in 10 too (why have not more people woken up to the use of electric blowers). I have an intelligent oven that knows how to cook. 5 -10 prep and 40 mins of GAGing, I'm eating and GAGing. Sadly I bought a separate washing machine and dryer so I do have the labor of transferring clothes to the dryer.
Not exactly onerous!
Now the wife in the pic would have seen her mother actually slaving over a hot wood burner stove. Cosy in winter, stinking hot in summer. Her mother would have allocated a day for laundry and it would have been hard work boiling the clothes in a copper and using a stick to agitate. Then using a mangle to squeeze water out and hanging the clothes to dry. After that she heated irons up on the wood burner stove to iron. Maybe she had time for vigorous sweeping late in the day.
No wonder the wife is smiling appreciatively at her husband in the pic :). She has a cool electric range (pictured) to cook on. Also a washing machine with a spin dry (no mangling anymore). Probably no electric clothes dryer yet. She would have electric iron. Oh a cake mixer too to save all that striring and beating. A vacuum cleaner but no electric blower for the dusting yet as lithium batteries still to be developed. On the weekend the husband would have changed the suit for overalls and done the hard yacka yard work plus made a bit more progress on building a patio for the family.
It did take quite a lot of work for a husband and wife to build a nice home together in the 50's. The wife, by the way, was quite happy to have left her boring monotonously repetitive job at the aircraft factory during WW2 long behind her.
Implications of a wife being in some form of servitude is highly misplaced.
Really, 1950s America had its perks. The guy worked; the girl stayed at home. Teamwork. The guy made sure she had what she needed, and even gave her spending money sometimes, and she would cook him delicious meals and make sure he had fresh clothes for work.
The problem with this though, the female feels enslaved, and like the guy is taking control of her, and in some cases, she's right. Honestly, I would rather date a girl that likes to cook for her guy because from my experience, girls that don't know how to cook or refuse to cook are lazy. I'm sure that's not always the case though, since some girls get busy with their jobs and don't have time.
I love to cook, so I don't mind if a girl doesn't always cook, but it's nice sometimes because it shows she cares. My ex-girlfriend Destiny was a wonderful cook. I used to cook for her too.
but yeah, the reason why guys are so particular about their partners is because a lot of guys are control freaks, and want everything their way. It's a man's world unfortunately, but even if it was a woman's world, the world would still be messed up. You can't have one sex controlling the whole world. Sexist, bigimsm as I call it, and all that stuff is the problem. People let power go to their head.
50/50 doesn't work either though. Some decisions are better left to the guy 100%, and some are better left to the female 100%. I mean, obviously if a girl is picking out a wedding dress, yeah, it's better she makes that choice, lol.
Settle down, Tom. Feminism started out as a legal battle as well as a social one, and it wasn't ill-founded. Like any idea, it got hijacked, altered and perverted by a variety of sources. But I digress.
I don't think partners have stopped being nice to each other. One thing is certain however - the time when a family could survive on one income only and the wife could be a stay at home mom is long past for the vast majority of Americans. Many families struggle with two incomes, so this old advertisement isn't really applicable anymore except to a small percentage of the population.
@anna0983773 Really? How about the fake Christian fascist white supremacists who are trying to put women back 100 years, and women support them! Is that feminism in America? I think not.
@loveslongnails “the time when a family could survive on one income only and the wife could be a stay at home mom is long past for the vast majority of Americans.”
True, but that’s only because most people waste their money on stupid shit nowadays and don’t have their priorities straight
@WhiteBoyChill " True, but that’s only because most people waste their money on stupid shit nowadays and don’t have their priorities straight". That's total horseshit. I mean really, complete total horseshit. And I'm not going to waste my time showing you real numbers about a single income for a family of 4 vs real expenses in a cross section of cities. Look it up yourself, or be content with your ridiculous assumption that "they don't have their priorities straight". *smh*
@loveslongnails Well, its easier said than done obviously, but a man that has a high paying job, works for a good company, and manages his money well by saving and investing can still afford a family and live decently well
@WhiteBoyChill Agreed. During my 20-year marriage that ended in amicable divorce several years ago. I was the sole bread-winner. We survived double-digit mortgage rates and higher inflation than now, owned our own home, and raised 3 kids. It wasn't easy, we had to watch our money, but we did it.
Exactly my point. I’m just saying most people in general don’t think things through hard enough nowadays by choosing a career that is sustainable. They go into college with a clear vision, accumulate a bunch of debt, and then find themselves in dire economic straits.
@exitseven My God. You're so good at math and speaking without thinking. The average price of a Land Rover in the USA is $116,000. A six year loan today with 20% down is $1,869 a month. A million dollar home with 20% down at today's 30 yr rate of 7.7% is $5,700 a month. That's $7,569 a month. That's $90,828 a year just on your mortgage and car PAYMENTS, in net dollars. Now you've got insurance and every other living expense. So, go FIND ME two kids making that kind of money. *smh*
@loveslongnails There are people who can afford a million dollar home and a Land Rover. There are many more people, though, who live in a $200 K home and drive a used Toyota.
Of course there are "some" people who can afford that, and they're a small percentage of the population, and rarely under 35, but that's not the point of our thread.
Well, my perfect partner would be a runner, tall, attractive, intelligent, wants a big family and is a good mother as well as partner. Do I expect to find that? No.
I was growing up in the fifties and sixties. Yes I'm a baby boomer. One of the things I noticed growing up and going to school my mother was always there. She was there to help me grow along my way. I am grateful for that. My father worked 6 days a week. He drove a truck 120 miles one way each day. To put food on our table to provide for us. I'm grateful for that. Things started getting rough in our house because of government induced inflation. Yes there were a lot of chauvinistic males out there but my father was always there to assist my mother on his time off. We went to worship service. As I got older and in my teens mom went to work as an accountant. We as children were taught to take care of the house. For that I'm grateful for. Mom went to work to make ends meet. Mom was home she taught me how to cook one of my first jobs when I was in high school I went to work at a restaurant as a short order cook. That teaching from my mother help me put myself through college. Today I still assist my companion in the chores in doing the house or cooking. I will agree with you in your comments. It also depended upon the man of the house and how he taught his children also. I was taught to respect womanhood with high regard.
People always have had expectations that could be viewed as unrealistic. Men and women alike aim for the perfect partner in their mind and then go out with someone that is far from perfect. I would say it´s two pair of shoes what a guy expects and what he falls in love with.
Because I´ve seen guys fall in love with a woman just because they like the sound of her laughing. The reason some guy´s expectations are high is either because they have no experience with dating/relationship and therefore have no sense of what´s responsible or because they have something specific in mind are looking just for that.
But it´s also a problem of modern dating culture since people are quick to say that you´re expectations are too high while there´s no commonly known level of what expectations are reasonable.
Well no wonder why guys are no good in bed you got to squint so hard to see the fine line details of the blueprint that they rob all their penis power for their eye power and they still don't understand it cuz you still can't see it
So if I can't see it I just say huh all the time
I wonder why they always say *oh you're thinking with the wrong head*
After five of those and your wife says something to you and you say huh
Followed by are you listening to me well hell no I'm not listening to you I tried I tried to read the blueprints I tried to follow the rules but when they're so small they make no sense to me cuz I can't see it I can't read it all I see is a blurry line so what'd you say
You're giving me a grocery list to go to the store huh I can't read that
Hoeflation: men have to work much harder than their granfathers to get a women who is nowhere near as good as their grandmothers.
Back in those days, a regular guy working at a factory could get a wife who was a virgin, fit, cooked, cleaned, and submitted to her husband's authority. Now most women are fat and ran-through, many are baby mommas, and nearly all of think they are entitled to man who is 6' making six figures. These women want traditional men who will provide but they aren't traditional women.
lol American here... married 25+ years... would love to have a day with just a few of what is listed there lol :)
100% describes how my Mom was with my Dad
P. S. Almost all of them made me laugh but my favorite might be "arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes". If my wife did that (or many on the list), I would ask "Did my doctor call and say I am terminal?" :)
I would just be happy with a woman who is honest with herself and me about what she wanted. And if she wasn't sure, be honest about that. If you want to be a firefighter or a chemist or a stay-at-home mom, or whatever you would like to be... Just be honest. And guys, if she's honest with you about her desires, support her in every way you can. Don't try to make her into what you think. She should be. Empower her to be what she wants to be. Every person has flaws and I have often found women hate their own flaws and project that hate on men and those things don't really bother us. Sometimes they are the things that make you human and perfect.
A husband will take a bullet for his wife. That right there is worth every meal being cooked for him and more. Us traditional men ain't going to let modern women dictate what is valuable and what isn't. We have options so we don't need to settle for someone who isn't willing to give a lot of traditional benefits. That doesn't mean guys want all the stuff in your list tho. Of course it's easier to make fun of men than to listen to men...
@anna0983773 Obviously I would take a bullet for my wife. But there's a condition on it and she knows this: She needs to act like a lady. If she were to go acting like she's a man & causing drama then it's on her. For example if she decided to walk into a neighborhood full of gang members and insult them THAT is on her. I made sure to marry a woman who is smart enough to understand her RESPONSIBILITIES so my wife won't do such things. But there's a lot of guys who are with foolish women who start problems and a lot of guys have ended up dead over that.
1,2,4,6,8,9,10, 12, 13 and 15 I already do when I am with someone and they work later than I do. I expect at a minimum, that in return when I'm the one working somewhere other than home.
I provide the security and infrastructure year-round. Seems little to ask for in return. If you can't be bothered to make me a sandwich then I can't be bothered to slap the furniture out the mouth of someone who gets touchy with you
@anna0983773 You don't have to. You're perfectly capable of leaving. If you're NEVER going to cook for me then I'm making every meal for the rest of our time together. I can just cook half as much and not have you there. I already listed all those numbers that I'm willing to do for you, so you accomplish them in return or go somewhere else. What do I need a deadbeat for? What would she bring to the table?
@anna0983773 I agree, but logistically everything isn't 50/50. We can strive to make the overall effort 50/50, but I can't cook half of tonight's pasta and you cook the other half. If you're not going to raise a finger unless each act is 50/50 you'll find yourself replaced quickly by someone who will.
Men aren't perfect and most men will tell you they're not and a lot even think they're inferior. Men dont expect a lot from women. Women only think the way you do because you're paying attention to a small percentage of men who act like they're perfect
I don't think most men think that way these days. But I also don't date men. I know that women see a side of men that other men don't get exposed to, so maybe I'm out of my depth.
I don't think men expect women to be perfect but most men desire a top notch wife when in reality they aren't worth hardly nothing to begin with as a man or husband.
Heathen men expect heathen women to be good wives? Keep dreaming. LOL
That is very old school thinking, and quite possibly they were raised in that environment. Not saying it is right, but that was how things were back then. Or they could be a complete ass hat.
Do you do what it likes with your wife. Then travel around the world with her to different countries to try the local nothing. Learn about the local culture.
not true at all. men were the ones put through unrealistic expectations to the point where only 20-30% of all men who have ever existed were able to pass on their genes with 80-90% of all women who have ever existed. humanity has far more female ancestors than male ancestors and women have actively engaged in their own version of eugenics
I don’t expect perfection, but I do expect effort equal to my own. If I’m really good to her I want her to be good to me. Men and women offer different things
@anna0983773 I am not sure what that means but I have screwed her when the kids weren’t around so it’s kind of like a baby sitter scenario. :). We have a a great relationship and the kids are grown. It’s an adult relationship but one that many women would like in that I lead and she is submissive. And that is not something I forced on her, if anything she simply defers to me. That doesn’t mean she never gets a say. On the contrary she is smart and has great insights but at the end of the day the final call is mine on decisions even if that means we go with her choice which happens often. I also leave the decisions regarding the kids to her as that’s not my strength.
I don't think there are any perfect people in this world, no matter who they are, they all make mistakes at times. So it all depends on how you look at things.
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