T or F? Most people today don't really want a relationship. Most people just want someone else to want them?

[Anonymous]

I see this repeatedly on here. People saying "I want a relationship, but they have to ask me". When the reality is if you really wanted it you'd pursue them. And if that person ever pursued you would keep running and make them chase after you. And when you got bored you would tell them not interested

Why do you think so many people just want people pursuing them anymore and nothing else.

This question is not gender specific. It goes for both men and women.

True

False

[Finchie40]

I would say True for the most part , mainly because most people today have become very selfish people that only want things to go their way , I feel Social media played a big part on damaging the foundation of marriages and relationships. Most people will say they want to be loved and want someone to love them but when they find that person they eventually get bored or feel they are missing out on things , comparing their own lives to others’ instead of fixing what is broken in the relationship , most people run to someone else thinking that person will save them , because most people today have a hard time admitting to themselves they were wrong , it’s always someone else’s fault , Every time I go on to a social media apps there are memes posted about people constantly cheating on each other , if your partner is doing this , it means they are doing that etc. Most of the shit broadcasted on Social media is garbage , Social media was designed as a money making tool to brain wash people into buying things , When you see Memes about cheating and relationships most of those memes were posted by divorce lawyers that are looking to make money. They don’t give 2 shits about your relationship. I lived on this planet before social media apps were a big thing , people didn’t carry around cell phones like they do these days , Almost everywhere I go today , people are face planted into their phones instead of looking at the world around them , constantly thinking grass is greener on the other side , Back then we didn’t really have to worry about some other person secretly trying to get into your partners pants , Nowadays it’s so easy to do with a flew clicks. Most people don’t realize how good they have it until it’s gone , because they never see any wrong within themselves , Sadly no relationship will survive if you can not make your partner your top priority these days period and vice versa , The only way love grows between 2 people is removing selfishness for each other and understanding you can’t always be right , No relationship is perfect , relationships are a choice , if you can’t choose your partner don’t expect them to choose you period , it needs to go both ways or it will not work period. Most people today are scared to get into relationships because of all the nonsense they hear and read about , they are afraid to be lied to , back stabbed, cheated on , betrayed ect… people have a harder time trusting each other and that’s why this world is going to shit. If people actually put their phones down and learned how to be honest with each other , they would eventually see happiness , sadly most people today can not be honest with each other , they only do what is best for themselves making themselves a selfish person there way or no way , For love to grow you have to be able to give what you want to receive it needs to go both ways or it isn’t going to work period

[Anonymous]

Most guys I know either could care less about the opposing gender or despise them. Under mid Gen X age anyway. The last 15 years did irreparable damage to the relations between the sexes in the U. S. That finished it.

[Asker]

You really think it's that bad? Irreparable?

[Opinion Owner]

Getting into one means trust... almost NO guys I come across trust women here now... and as one ages, they generally pass on their experiences to their next of kin. I honestly think in 20 or 30 years, face to face relations will be extinct here. Science is already advancing to that point... with robots to do manufacturing jobs, sex robots, artificial insemination, etc. I doubt there'll even be a need for the genders to associate at all in 30 years.

[Asker]

Wow, that's depressing. lol

[another_curious_girl]

100% true, Most people want to feel desired, it's a flattering little ego boost they can give off on. I say this as a person who doesn't want have long term relationship.

A relationship however takes a lot of dedication, empathy, commination and responsibility. that I just don't have at the moment, most people don't even know what it takes to be in a relationship. you have to teach someone your boundaries, recover them from trauma, clean up there house. all that and more just for them to possibly cheat on you cause your sex wasn't good enough or fight with you over budgeting.

However to be desired, you don't have to do anything, not even have sex them. You could dive into fantasy and never fear about if things will work out. you can paint a picture of someone in your head, you have complete control.

I know it's immature but that's the basic thought process. Maybe there are a few people out there that will give it a try, but they'll eventual be exhausted but the people who don't try (unless they get lucky). The truth is emotional investments lead to very painful losses. it takes a long time to recover from those losses. so for a lot of people, dating seriously isn't worth it anymore.

[Asker]

FACTS! I commend your honesty. As a guy I don't like hearing that because a guy likes to know he's getting somewhere with a woman when he's making effort. A guy could read this and think you're saying you use that to feel better about yourself. And then reject him. Because f*** what he feels. I don't think you mean that based on the sharing you've done. At least I hope you don't.
I guess all of this would be easier if everyone was just honest.
You get MHO thanks for sharing honestly.

[BunBun369]

Whoa 🤦🏽‍♀️. People are trash I think it happened to me. Like I just had an epiphany. Reading your post. That is like vampiric or succubus/incubus type stuff. You can't steal my energy 🤣🤣! 🙅🏽‍♀️

People are so used to social media and the instant gratification of getting compliments. I guess. Honestly I don't even remember the full question. My fault I got sidetracked 🤣 adhd 🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

[Asker]

I feel like this is a thing that a lot of people feel but don't say. We get cynical as we age. People play with us (happens to both genders) so much that we say it's all light and just playful, unless I really see some effort on thier part. But maybe we get to the point where we just consider everyone that way. But what one person might see as little effort might actually be that other person's best effort. I think @another_curious_girl said it best when she said "a relationship however takes a lot of dedication, empathy, commitment and responsibility". So maybe since it takes all that and knowing that that person takes you heart with them when they leave you (and we all know a person cannot live without thier heart), so we just find it EASIER to flirt, stay single, and live in what potentially could have been. Agree?

[BunBun369]

I don't know life's not fun without the life part 😂
I guess so I would take that heart ache. I mean sometimes you need that experience. So all these little nasty ass kids gonna be rode hard and put up wet 🤷🏽‍♀️ by the time they get my age 🤦🏽‍♀️. Like nah. That's why my generation looks younger than the one after us. I seent a 22 yr old child bro looked like 45 I was like tf. 👀. I don't know it's just crazy.
I think one of the most healthy things in life are genuine.

Do you think that's why the younger generations don't have personalities? Because they don't have to worry about getting married and having to develop one for their kids too. lol you don't have to have a personality laying down on your back 🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️

[BunBun369]

I miss spoke I think that one of the most healthiest things in life is to be genuine it's good for your all spark/mind and body.

[OlderAndWiser]

Most adults who are not in a relationship say that they want a "relationship," but they either don't know what that means, or they only want what's in it for them without making any reciprocal effort or their partner.

[AviatorTom]

Isn't that really the same thing?

[Asker]

Well I think everybody wants to be wanted if that's what you mean. But no, I think to just want that is narcissism, not love.

[jshm2]

Most people don't know what a fucking relationship even is!

Most have no frame of reference. They either thing it's a living ATM, a live in psychologist, a fuckable nanny, or many other pejoratives.

But overall, only loveable people get to be in lovable relationships,

[Asker]

This might be the MHO so far.

[ZamerZ]

I do believe that people prefer the feeling of being wanted over having to acknowledge that it takes two (or more) people for a relationship. And that would require effort. I have the impression everyone's just waiting for their "perfect person" to come around the corner and complete them, not vice versa.

I'll let Daniel Sloss do the rest of the talking because he put it into perfect words, in my opinion.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/OlSpbe23H_4https://www.youtube.com/embed/AzLV3mPDNgc

[Monalisa77]

I have really bad anxiety it would crush me if i asked a guy out straight in front of him and hed say no. Not sure if i can handle that. I dont mind doing it through someone else though or online /text

[Asker]

So you're saying true or false? Because insecurity and narcissism can look very much the same in women. I'm not disputing you have anxiety. But a narcissistic woman can say she has anxiety to recieve adulation while alleviating herself of any responsibility on her end.

I'm not sure which you're telling me true or false.

[Monalisa77]

i dont know either, im always striving to be a better person and learning from any mistakes i make. its just in some situatons if i go and ask a guy straight out in person, it may make the situation around us uncomfortable. where as if he found out i was interested another way i would know either way what my answer is and we'd just carry on as if it didn't happen. i dont have any romantic experience with a guy, so i dont know what to expect of them or me.

[Anonymous]

True. Marriage used to be the goal for most people, the prize if you will. Dating was a means to that end. But today marriage is no longer the prize, especially for men. Marriage is a hazardous proposition for men today. So relationships are not as important as they used to be. People, and especially men, want sex and fun, but not the responsibilities, risks and costs of a committed relationship.

[MountAverage]

Not quite. What's true is that people now want to wait longer before they settle down. They want to experience different things and enjoy more options during their early/mid 20s, and around late 20s, their desire to settle down and have a committed relationship increases. Very generalizing, but I think more or less that's how it is in general.

[LiamJHayden]

I do not know most people so I cannot fairly answer this. I do know that I want a relationship, but of course on my own terms which are likely unacceptable to most women.

[es20490446e]

I want to be Beethoven,
but I don't want to practice piano.

[Nikki1989]

Most want it, but they are too lazy to do anything about it.

[Asker]

Pretty much what I meant. They don't really want it. They want it handed to them.

[KrakenAttackin]

I think most men do want a committed relationship, but for the average guy it's not a realistic goal.

[jentastic]

People follow what social media tells them to do and not what their hearts tell them to do. The crowd just got a whole lot bigger, than high school.

[ArrowheadSW]

Excellent question. I'd say 50/50 though.

[Asker]

Thanks man!🙂 it appears like those Pol is pretty close to evenly split almost 60/40

[AlbantheGreat]

I don't know most people, and I'm rusty.

[whistlingwh0res]

America is full of opportunists.