People with unreasonable and unrealistic standards why are you like this?

[Anonymous]

Okay. Women for instance. Men do it too. You say “nobody is entitled to date you and you have a right to your standards” yes this is true. But it works both ways… The type of men you want have a lot of options. So if you expect someone to give you the world and you’re entitled to it… But you give little to nothing in return. Those guys have a lot of options…. They’re probably going for someone better. So you get bitter with ALL men. All men suck. Because you’re romantically frustrated.

Incels same thing…. They have this negative view of women. Because they sleep around all the time. But want a virgin. Why would a woman saving herself until marriage want a man whose slept with 100s of women? Yeah when you sleep with low moral and value women… That becomes the type of women you attract. The type of women who have reasonable standards and self respect and some dignity. Are repulsed

[Sweetsurprize]

People are people. A lot of people are good just trying to make it out here in this crazy fucked up shit hole we call the world or earth.

People with unreasonably high standards may in the end, have trouble finding someone good or compatible really I feel. But you never know, lol, people will fuck/date anything/anyone these days haha. I've seen it happend a lot. Then they complain that they got pregnant by fubu wearin J-Z or Drake or whatever. And he's hidding from payin' child support!

But yeah, I "Think" most people are just looking for their Mr. Right/Ms. Right... sadly, I haven't been able to find him yet at my age for some reason. I truly thought my ex was going to be it for me... 😞

[Asker]

That’s what I mean. The only people available are the ones willing to be with them… which aren’t typically who they want. There is many good people here. Jesus is coming soon….. I am starting to understand why at some point God will destroy everything

[Miah05]

We are all allowed to have preferences.

Just because you find it unreasonable doesn't make it unreasonable.

If you know what you like, why settle.

Most relationships fail because they settled for someone that's not compatible to them.

Because they allowed others to convince them their preference is unreasonable.

I know what i want from my potential partner, and i will not settle.

If i never find them, i am fine being alone, because it's better than being in a unsatisfying relationship.

[Asker]

I’m not against preferences. I’m allowed to have preferences too. That’s my point. People say “I have my preferences/standards” but also can’t handle rejection themselves. They feel entitled.

Irs not like I don’t have standards for myself. Find who makes you happy and stop being bitter. This triggers you for a reason

[Asker]

I would never settle for someone who I’m unhappy with. You have either miscomprehended what I said or are just trying to pick and take things out of context. If the type of men you want don’t want you it’s not my problem

[Asker]

Many times the highest quality man/woman have a LOT of options themselves. So they can be the most picky. Many people don’t hold themselves even close to the same standard they hold others to.

Maybe you don’t. But

[Miah05]

First i do not think your question was meant to be mean. Just you don't see it fully.

What in my opinion makes you think triggered?
I am allowed to put detailed thoughts on something. And i think the question isn't looking at things at a full point, but a one person view of how the world should work, which most humans struggle to take themselves directly out of their opinions forcing a bias statement that is self serving to their ego.

The point i am making is it is unreasonable to say something is unreasonable and unrealistic because what someone wants is not something you want.

What you may find as a preference or important in a partner others may think is ridiculous or stupid or unreasonable.

That doesn't mean it is. Because what is important to you, is important to you, and you shouldn't settle for less.

But you go it's unreasonable for someone to have standards that are different than yours.

No it's not.

So to sum it up.

We are not all compatible.

So we will have standards that are different, we will have values, we will want different things from relationships.

But it's not unreasonable to know what you want and not settle.

It is unreasonable to go well that person sees relationships differently then me, so they are being unreasonable.

Because what you see is people settling because they hear people go. You have unreasonable standards.

So yes. I repeat i would rather be alone than be in a unsatisfying relationship, so if my current partner begins to show me he is not what I want, i won't settle and neither should you or anyone.

And yes nobody should complain when they get rejected for not being someone's standards, but that comes from the same mentality that this question displays.

"Well my dating standards are reasonable, and if others don't match mine they are being unreasonable, and i should fit everyone's standards"

And it is simply not how the world works.

[Asker]

No not everyone is compatible. It’s the fact some people seem entitled to have a certain person but can’t take rejection themselves.

I agree. Find who makes you happy. You’re not really the type of person I’m talking about

[Asker]

I would rather be alone too then with someone who makes me miserable. Yes I agree with you.

[DextroShade]

Women are way more unrealistic and unreasonable with their standards and have huge lists of requirements for the man they want regardless of if all they bring to the table is their well-worn holes, other men's kids, 50+ extra pounds, and emotional damage. There are hundreds of profiles of 300 lbs baby mommas demanding a guy who 6' making 6 figures, literally the top 1% of men.

For men the standard is usually "don't be fat, don't be a hoe, don't be a bitch" and even then a lot of men will compromise on those.

[Asker]

Okay not all women and there’s men like this too.

[Asker]

Those type of women are so upset. No decent man wants them. Lol

[Flatmanlewis]

I think you are to have a standard you can live with. Also, I’ve heard the argument that people tend to only be able to date within their own standard. Meaning, if you want a fit, attractive, and successful man/woman … guess what you need to be? Why would that date ‘below them’? If you find the standard of women or men you want aren’t usually interested then maybe it’s time to raise the standard in yourself. Then again, it’s only something I’ve heard and cannot prove.

[Asker]

Many don’t hold themselves to the same standard they hold others to

[provokeesmokee]

What's weird to me is the number of people (gender agnostic) who think being compassionate or respectful is some sort of above and beyond behaviour. Or who think relationships don't take work or commitment.

I see this more often from men, but I definitely see some women with this mindset.

[Asker]

Well. I think honestly it’s pretty equal between men and women. Plenty of both sexes that don’t but then again many who do as well

[sheenagwapa]

i don't have unreasonable standards. mine is simple don't fucking shit on me. that's just basic. and if you think i cannot live my life without your shit or without you you are soooo wrong. i simply do not need shitty people

[Asker]

True

[ProbablyClueless]

People tend to have a few different experiences where they will have some stuff they like about their partner, other stuff they don't. So they figure that, if they could get someone with the trait they liked once, why couldn't they do it again while also get someone who has those other desirable traits as well?

[BoopBoopBeep]

Incels don't sleep with 100s of women. That word doesn't mean what you think it does.

[Asker]

People like you need to read what I said.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Okay, you said "Incels same thing…. They have this negative view of women. Because they sleep around all the time"

This sentence is poorly crafted. "They" is being repeated but apparently you meant it to apply to a different referent in each instance? Incels then women? Okay that changes the meaning significantly.

But then we have "But want a virgin." So the last referent was to women. Your assessment then is that women want virgins? That certainly hasn't been my experience. Or you're flipflopped back to talking about incels now? No wait, must be the non-incel men, because you're talking about all the women they sleep with.

God reading your manifesto one day will be exhausting if you don't learn how to construct a grammatically coherent paragraph. Pity really, I think you may be making some good points in there, but I've no interest in trying to decipher what it is. Good luck to you, though.

[Nikki1989]

Nobody is entitled to anything. You are doing a lot of generalizing here.

[Asker]

Well. You’re not one of the ones I’m taking abojt

[Asker]

*about

[slatyb]

"They sleep around all the time" -- if they are, it's with men who sleep around all the time. When a woman has sex with a man, a man is having sex with a woman. Men and women have sex at the same rate, although of course it varies between individuals.

[Anonymous]

Society is so fractured and people have little in common that even fairly reasonable standards are almost impossible to find. Ultimately this is just natures way of preventing overpopulation.

[Asker]

Stop listening to anal swab. This overpopulation thing isn’t even true

[Opinion Owner]

Using the available birthrate data from every country on earth from the 1970-now, take my hand and lead me to the opposite conclusion.

[LiamJHayden]

How do you define unreasonable and unrealistic? And no, your examples really are not specific enough to know exactly what your point is.

[Asker]

When people have all these standards. Wanting someone super rich and they don’t even want real love. Or want someone whose perfect looking and all dolled up all the time.

As well as people who don’t hold themselves to the same standards they hold others to

[EmyyWolf]

Well not everyone wants the kids and the picked fence in their 20’s

Your frontal lobe finishes forming when you’re 25.

I rather have fun with Chads who also want to have fun. Than be stuck with some undesirable.

[Asker]

Ewww

[EmyyWolf]

YEAH “EW” an ugly guy , an undesirable.
“EW”. I’m not reproducing with the genetics of the undesirable.
“EW” I’m not giving my body to some weakling that can’t compete with other males.

[Asker]

Lol. Thanks for the assumptions. If this makes you feel better about yourself okay

[Asker]

Why do you care about my sex life? I would rather get married to a decent woman and have kids with her.

Did all the good men reject you?

[EmyyWolf]

She doesn’t want to be with you though 🤮

[Ironic_Method]

I feel like I have unreasonable standards and I'm like that because... I can be? I have never had an issue getting a partner even while married and why would I lower my standards when I don't need to? (as unfair as those standards are)

[WhitneySnow]

The way you say it it sounds reasonable

[Asker]

It depends on the standards

[genericname85]

what's "realistic" and "reasonable" and are you the authority on objectively defining that?

[Gkjynygnn]

My dad when he banged me told me only date men with huge schlongs

[Asker]

Ohhhh okay

[Asker]

Reported. That’s disgusting troll