My girlfriend of the past year told me that I live my life only thinking about myself and that our relationship is one sided, that I am selfish and do not consider her problems or her. She says that it is the man’s responsibility to solve the problems of the woman he loves… but the issue is that she has three main problems that I simply don’t have the money to resolve - they are big ticket items costing thousands of dollars… I do all I can, all that I can afford, honestly, even more than I can afford already - I pay for everything, buy her flowers, gifts, try to always give my attention and time (which often leaves me feeling irresponsible)… I pay her bills that she cannot pay… her claim is that I don’t consider her at all and that she needs to think about how she can continue with a man who is as selfish as myself… I feel manipulated and overlooked, and it’s hard to give more than I can to be met with no gratitude and complaints that I don’t do enough. She tells me that she can live with me as “poor as a church mouse”, but she has no regard for money and our financial outlooks are completely different. She has helped me a lot, and she feels like she has done everything for me and that I do nothing for her. And she had helped me with many difficult situations that as a foreigner in another country were hard for me to resolve on my own. But I am running out of money, trying hard to get my business started here, and don’t have at my disposal the resources that she requires as the “test” of my love. Not sure exactly how to respond or what to do… I have a difficult time comprehending how she cannot see that I already do more than I can, and deep down I feel rejected that, in her eyes, I don’t do enough…
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