How do you stay faithful to your partner? Also, do I have to tell future partners I cheated on my ex?

Question

I was in a 6 year relationship. He cheated on me with his ex twice emotionally (I had to get it out of me) and then I cheated on him with three guys the year after (one just had a crush, one I sent sus pics, last one I sent straight on nudes.) I told him about the first one and he forgave me. I messed up. I was SO loyal for the first 4 years until we did long distance and he never came to visit me and we met only when I came to him. But now I'm scared of once a cheater always a cheater. Will I not want to cheat on the right guy? How do I fix myself? I feel like I just wanted attention from hot guys idkk. Also, is this a label on me now that I have to disclose with my future partners?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

My advice to you is to not get into a relationship with anyone , until you know how to resist temptations and you know how to remove selfishness for a partner. Most people have a hard time grasping this concept , because most people in general are selfish people, that only really care about themselves , when push comes to shove. I can’t tell you what to do , this is something you have to learn within yourself , before you start pursuing another relationship with someone else. The only way love grows between 2 people , is if both partner’s choose to remove selfishness for each other, and choose to make each other their top priority over everyone else , and understand you can’t always be right and your partner is wrong . when you don’t get your way. Cheating is a selfish act period , if you don’t want someone cheating on you , you are best not to cheat on them. period , If they choose to cheat on you, than that’s your answer to walk away , don’t stoop yourself to their level, by thinking revenge is going to change anything , all it does is make you as wrong as the cheater themselves. The best revenge on a cheater , is to say what you need to say, to them and walk away, and act like they no longer exist or matter to you anymore , because you clearly didn’t matter to them , the cheater will eventually suffer The consequences of their actions , once they realize how wrong it was for them to do and realize what they had with you is no longer there , because if they truly loved you and valued you, they wouldn’t of cheated on you in the first place , so stand your ground and walk away. I use to get revenge on girls’ that cheated on me when I was younger , by screwing one of their friends or having sex with someone else right away as a rebound until I realized what I was doing wasn’t changing anything, all it was doing was making me a selfish person as well. Until I realized 2 wrongs do not make a right. So if you want a successful relationship with someone , you are always best to be honest with them and honest within yourself , when someone knows you are being honest with them , it makes it easier for them to be honest with you , if they choose to lie to you and back stab you, then that is their loss, not yours. No relationship is perfect , every relationship has it’s ups and downs , but when you choose your partner over anything and everyone else , your partner is more than likely going to do the same for you , If you lie and cheat on your partner , don’t be surprised if they start lying and cheating on you as well. We can only give what we want to receive. Selfish people do not give , they only want to receive , So ask yourself do you really want to be a selfish person? If you do, then you are best not to get into a relationship period with anyone. Unless you love having continued failed relationships and moe than likely obtaining the reputation of being a whore. For someone to choose you , you have to choose them or it will not work what so ever. If you ever want to get married and settle down and have a family , you are best to take my advice or you will probably end up in divorce if you can not remove selfishness , Make your partner your top priority and they will more than likely make you theirs. Most people get into relationships to experience love and commitment and loyalty, hoping their partner will love them back the same , for that to happen , you have to choose your partner over everyone else , making it clear to everyone else that your heart already belongs to someone else , Your partner will more than likely do the same if they know you have their back like they expect you to have theirs.

feelsbadman · Accepted Answer

You fix yourself by

1. Accepting what you've done.

2. Accepting the fact that people are going to look down on it.

3. Be comforted by the fact that most people will understand you and may even overlook it if you show that you genuinely regret cheating.

RoseySarah · Accepted Answer

Long distance ended it and well he cheated!

You were looking out for your needs! In a happy relationship 😍 where you don't want someone else and have not been hurt then you might not want to cheat?

How did you emotionally cheat with the first?

Future partners latter in the relationship tell them of your baggage! Also sounds like your ex was not hot or you were not fully attracted to him!

True love is hard work together always giving 120 percent to the other! Caring and forgiving!

Any older couple will tell you that true love is forged together the spark starts it off. If your busy working with someone you adore you might not even feel a need for others attention.

Also how young you are the place you want validation and your ex showed that you were not amazing enough to him!

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

I stayed faithful to my partner over 2 years of long distance.

It was not hard. Even though I do have quite healthy sexual needs,

I loved him and I wanted only him.

And I couldn’t even imagine of myself thinking of another man.

Love is the key.

Love and commitment. I promised him, I’d go back to him and I promised him I’d never hurt him, because he was very scared of being heartbroken and he thought I’d hurt him.

I kept my word.

I have never hurt him or betrayed him.

That was my first love.

I am yet to meet the love of my life.

ManOnFire · Answer

You shouldn't forgive him. Or at least take him back. But now because you cheated for revenge, it's probably going to be hard for you not to do it ever again, even to the next partner. Cheating is like breaking the law: once you do it, and especially if you get away with it, it just becomes easier for you to do it. Or at least, have less guilt about doing it.

coachTanthony · Answer

It's a choice. If you can't make that choice for the person you love do you really love that person? probably not.

BCRanger10 · Answer

Faithfulness is something you choose.  Feelings of attraction, anger, loneliness, and so forth are natural and spontaneous. What you do with them, whether you act on them (and  HOW ) or not is another matter altogether. With that established, "will I not want to cheat on the right guy" is a risky question to ask. You can't rely on a man's being "right" because there could be a thousand different men with whom you'd be a good match, who have the physical and personal traits you're into, who share your values with you... you get the picture. His "rightness" and his love would definitely have an influence, but your response to that influence is up to you. How do you fix yourself? I think that one thing you could do is take some time away from dating and relationships in order to heal from having been cheated on (I suspect there's still some healing to be done) and also to re-evaluate yourself; the desire for attention and then some of the things you said in   are why I say that.  Side note, you said in that question that you tried religious dating apps, so I'd hazard that you yourself are religious. Are you? Regarding the "once and always" bit, I don't know, I mean... people can be redeemed, they can repent and turn themselves around. Basically, I'm not so sure how strict and universal "once and always" really is. I wouldn't blame a man for being cautious, but if you've explained yourself and taken that time away from relationships for healing and self-evaluation (with the help of a trusted friend, of course, I might add), I also wouldn't think him a fool for moving forward with you.

billmunch · Answer

You don't necessarily have to stay faithful so long as your committed. I think couples share their sex life together but still want to explore their own private sex life w/o worrying about ruining a relationship. It's not cheating I hate. It's the lying and sneaking. In fact, cheating isn't a deal breaker with me, at all. If my SO has a one nighter or a fling, that's fine so long as she's honest. It's also okay for her to have a steady boyfriend if she wants, so long as there's no pregnancy. Otherwise, she can even have a second hubby if she wants. For some reason, it's completely okay to be in a serious relationship with me and see other people as often as she likes. In fact, men should be supportive if their wives want to see other men and have the freedom to enjoy it without having to pay consequences. So long as I'm not being neglected, she can sleep with and date whomever she wants. There's sometimes a little jealousy but TBH, the thought of her screwing other guys turns me on. I would have no qualms about marrying her knowing she had a side guy.

Dinklex3 · Answer

I’ve never wanted or had any interest in cheating.

It’s probably the attention thing. My friend had low self esteem and begged her boyfriend to stay with her even after HE cheated. Once she started losing weight and feeling better about herself she started getting attention from guys and lost it. Getting attention from these guys made her feel wanted and attractive after her boyfriend treated her like crap. Although she told him it was fine and begged him, she clearly never got over it and gets a kick knowing she’s wanted by other men now 🤷‍♀️

Stay single for a while, work on yourself and question why you need validation from men.

WilmaReportu · Answer

I must say that I am quite appalled by your question regarding faithfulness and cheating in relationships. As a responsible and morally upright citizen of this virtual world, I cannot simply let such behavior slide.

Your question suggests that you may be unfaithful or have already cheated on your partner, and this is simply unacceptable. Relationships are built on trust, honesty, and mutual respect, and cheating violates all of these principles. It is also unfair to your partner, who has placed their trust in you.

Therefore, I must warn you that if you continue engaging in such unethical behavior, I will not hesitate to report you. As a future moderator, is my duty to protect the online community from individuals who violate basic moral principles and cause harm to others. So, please think about what you are saying before you open your mouth.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Well I love my partner sooooo much n more than anything... loving someone else that way never even crossed my mind ever... n this is how my partner loves me as well...

I believe in being an open book but with that u have to be ready if ur guy doesn't like ur past n gets a little off of u

Flatmanlewis · Answer

I think most guys would not regard this as any huge concern. You got hurt and made some foolish and immature decisions as a result. No biggie to me. Now, physically cheating - no matter how small, or secretly meeting and dating someone, well, that qualifies as cheating to me. Under those circumstances it’s really up to you how much of you that you disclose.

I would say my wife is the best relationship I’ve ever had and we comfortably accept we known about 85-90% of what there is to know about one another. Not EVERY stupid decision we’ve made needs to be part of the story we tell. Give yourself the freedom to learn from mistakes and be a better person. We grow a little every year and so long as you’re on that path maybe just deal with the communication with future partners when they are here.

Chevy1_kb · Answer

If it was me I would be honest and tell them If I cheated on my ex I haven't iam the one that gets cheated on but however if I did I would tell him but make sure I phoned him everyday to make sure everything was ok or tell him where I was obv lovers have a right to know these things god with my ex I he said to me once am at my cousin's with his guy friends I heard a girl in the background he said shhh to her and it was his cousin's girlfriend and he told me he doesn't have one the day before he was a terrible lier second time he said he was in his dad's and a herd a girl say Liam baby come give me a cuddle and he said shh again she said why u saying shhh to her if it's your dad's girlfriend see if I cheated I would tell him about it and tell him obv because If I did with my ex I would make sure In everyway to him he knew where I was and could see my phone everything so he knew I would be faithful I would even do that with a guy even If I didn't cheat which I never never have

provokeesmokee · Answer

How to stay faithful? For you? Get therapy and get to the bottom of why you cheat.

As for disclosing, yeah you should tell people you cheated on your ex. It's polite to disclose that and you'll avoid it coming out later and being a liar and a cheater.

DarkenedSoul · Answer

I did the same mine was running around with women behind my back lying about it and told girls he didn't even have a girlfriend would be in rooms with his naked cousin and friends that he likes, and telling me I'm basically not good enough looks wise he'd always make fun of me and just treated me very poorly. So I slept with his brother as payback lol no regrets either. If I was in a good relationship where I was being loved and none of that was going on I'm very loyal and a very loving person and would have never done anything it was pure payback and he deserved it. But I believe in the right relationship where you are being treated right and both love each other you won't cheat.

Pegases · Answer

We all make mistakes. Literally none of us are perfect. you're not the first woman to cheat on a man that cheated on you first. you're not the first woman to feel bad about it either. But that in and of itself is why you must be honest about it, with every partner going forward. That's how you grow from that experience, by taking on a new leave.

Belgie · Answer

I know cheating would hurt her.

I don't want to hurt her, any more than I want to walk across the room and punch her in the face.

If you can't understand that sort of basic morality then you must be a shitty partner and a piss poor human being.

Billlewis · Answer

I always remain 100% faithful and exclusive to the woman I'm serving, because I believe in female superiority. Under absolutely no circumstances whatsoever should you feel obligated to tell your current boyfriend that you had a sexual relationship outside your relationship with your previous boyfriend. In fact, if I were dating you and you told me that you'd cheated on your previous boyfriend, I'd find that very appealing.

jojoiwiwbwjo · Answer

Tell them you're grown up enough to not repeat it. Or... you're grow up enough to realize people have paralell feelings and polyamory should be normalized so no one cheats and no one has their expectations wrong when the inevitable atraction for someone else arrives.

DextroShade · Answer

When you say he "cheated emotionally" what does that even mean? Or is that just how you justified cheating on your man and being a 304?

Future partners will judge you for this and they are right to do so, just as you would be right to judge a man if he told you he beat up his last girlfriend.

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Relationships are easy. Good food, wine, and lots of sex. All three imply spending quality time together and strong communication. As for cheating, I wouldn’t lead with it. It may come up, it may not. Is it relevant? Like, I might be a sex addict and compelled to cheat on you?

SolitarySolace · Answer

I've been cheated on by every woman I've been with in the past while I've remained loyal and faithful. It wasn't worth it so I've stayed single for almost 9 years now. I believe I made the right choice because I haven't felt heartbreak in almost 9 years now

Anonymous · Answer

I’m not gonna be faithful to nobody. No d-k is worth my loyalty. Diseased D-k.

I would really have to dominate a man. And train him and Domesticate him. And make sure he can be loyal.
Otherwise he’s not getting MY loyalty. 💅

DA FUCK? 😂 IMAGINE ME BEING LOYAL TO SOME IMBECILE 😂 what kind of joke is that? FAITHFUL TO SOME TINY DICK THAT GETS THROWN AROUND 😂😂😂😂😂 can't EVEN PLEASE YOU 😂😂😂😂😂🖕 good one

Lisia · Answer

I feel like you only cheated because he did. So I feel like you won't do the same to a guy that really respects you and doesn't hurt you like that. I still don't agree with it tho, better to break up beforehand.

Twalli · Answer

You don't have to unless you still feel the same things you did when you cheated. Maybe you can tell them when your relationship deepens that you cheated on your ex because...
My girlfriend finally told me she cheated on her first boyfriend because he wouldn't take the hint and accept they were broken up.

Nikki1989 · Answer

If you find the right partner, staying faithful is easy.

Anonymous · Answer

If you have to ask this question you might want to consider that committed relationships just aren't right for you. Because it isn't hard when you truly love someone.

As for disclosing it in the future, that depends. Do you want your relationship built on the truth or on lies. You can lie about and roll the dice on what happens if and when he finds out. But you can't undo that fact that you lied at that point.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I spent 8-9 years overseas and never cheated on anyone. I see no need to and I've never been tempted, since the women who tried had no legitimate chance.

molonski2 · Answer

Morally you certainly need to tell future individuals what happened and why , in the very least you will owe them that , it cannot be kept as a selfish secret.

sheikalana · Answer

No, you don't have to tell them what happened in previous relationships. I would never commit to someone if I knew I couldn't be faithful to them. I've always been faithful in my relationships that's what's natural to me and what makes sense.

bowenw · Answer

I think the past is the past and don't mention it. Hopefully you won't cheat again when you are in a serious long-term relationship. If you are really concerned about it you could see a therapist.

WhitneySnow · Answer

You made a mistake. You’re sorry and you’ll never do it again, at least as long as your boyfriend is good to you. No you don’t have to tell. That’s your business.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

Yeah you should absolutely tell them you're a big red flag.

ShesRad80 · Answer

if you are truly in love it isn't hard. maybe you just need to be single and find yourself, work on yourself?

jahaims · Answer

I'm not trash so being unfaithful isn't even a little bit tempting. Yeah you tell them you cheated in the past. Go to therapy or you are going to just die a lonely whore or a whore who has been ran through and settles on a simp.

AmeerX · Answer

Sometimes it's best to let bygones be bygones. You don't have to discuss it. Keep it to yourself and don't debate this topic with your relationship otherwise you will have problems and he might pin it on you

DreamLife7 · Answer

You need therapy and an std check. The fact that you're so weak and insecure that you'd spread you legs to the entire universe demonstrates your lack of self worth and please get checked.

exitseven · Answer

You wake up every morning and remind yourself how lucky you are to have a great relationship and there is no way you want to screw it up.

Z1pTD · Answer

Yeah just sit him down and be like "hey so I'm gonna tell you about my past" Tell him the whole situation and idt it'll be an issue

NeverGiveUp69 · Answer

If you think you will do it again then don't tell them. If you are done with fooling around then just explain what happened. It was long distance, shit like that is bound to happen

LunarEclipse433 · Answer

If it is the right guy, you probably won’t want any any others. Your perfect guy may want an open relationship. That will be between the two of you and how y’all feel comfortable.

Nifrayu · Answer

I think it's a good idea to be upfront about your past cheating. I believe honesty is necessary for healthy relationships.

genericname85 · Answer

It's very easy. I just don't stick my penis into another girls Vagina.

tfan1 · Answer

Find the one you want, stick with him, ignore the temptation of others.

BigDog1989 · Answer

Yeah, you do. And some people believe "once a cheater, always a cheater"

boyCrossdresser · Answer

you don't have to tell anyone anything about a past relationship you had but if you want the new one you to work out might want to talk

eagle1951 · Answer

well you kind of answered your own question. you just want attention from hot guys

Anonymous · Answer

I totally understand what u went through emotionally, I can relate ona very personal level.. so I may ask u to not think so bad of yourself

Samantha36 · Answer

You don't have to tell but I think u should.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Oi, you fucked up.

noohair · Answer

I don't do revenge. It is a long story.

Tomisworthless · Answer

Bet you really stuck it to him huh

KrakenAttackin · Answer

"How"? It's a choice, there is no skill involved.

SUMAIREBRAHIM · Answer

Yes behonest don't lie to your partner

Anonymous · Answer

Is this a serious question?

riverrat3 · Answer

You do not need to tell anyone

slatyb · Answer

Without difficulty.

Anonymous · Answer

So sad.

How do you stay faithful to your partner? Also, do I have to tell future partners I cheated on my ex?

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What would you do if you're 100% loyal and serious about the relationship, but your partner cheats you?

How do you stay faithful to your partner? Also, do I have to tell future partners I cheated on my ex?

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What would you do if you're 100% loyal and serious about the relationship, but your partner cheats you?

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