She said she forgave?

[Anonymous]

So I got into a fught with this girl I've been talking too I few months I'm very fond of her and she's sweet and she motivates me a lot but I'm not really in a good mental space for a relationship and I need to work on myself, things have been going great thus oadt year tho she sometimes brings up pursuing something more serious, she told me she had a date that month and he was a really nice guy I got really mad and said some hurtful words like her belonging to the streets or that she's proving someone referring to her ex right, her ex really hurt her verbally and physically and saud a lot if hurtful stiff to her like no one will love her and that it doesn't matter what she wants it's what the man does. It's so bad I can't touch her hair which I practiced a lot on doing she has a lot of hair but she's 4'll so it kinda shallows her, he also she can't become serious with anyone even though they weren't in a serious relationship, she's really skeptical about physical intimacy but she opened up to stuff I feel bad her first experience with a man was so bad. Anyways I apologised for what I said after a prolonged fight for a while, she sats she forgave me abd agreed to let bygones be bygones , I thought we were over it but she saud she's letting me go cause clearly she's the problem and she can't make trouble for anyone if she stays by herself. It's strange for me to see her shrinking back like this and I feel extremely bad for not apologizing immediately for what I said. Since she forgave me I don't get why she's walking away after I thought everything was fine I mean her ex said worse things to her and she stayed for 2 years.

[madhatters4]

you need to let her go. you said really messed up things to her. those types of things aren't easy to get over. you said she dealt with similar stuff with an ex so you opened up old wounds. the reality is what you did is considered verbal abuse. more significantly it seems like she has some huge self worth issues. it's hard to be good with someone when you aren't good with yourself.

basically it sounds like you both need to work on yourselves rather than be together and continue to do damage

[Asker]

We talked she said the same thing about the whole verbal abuse I brought up a talk we had before we started going out, to not use anything we tell each other in complete trust in arguments. I seriously messed up majorly that was the one request she had and I forgot, she didn't even get mad when I brought her out for shrimp she's highly allergic and can't be near it but she sat there and watched me eat it but then her rash started showing up on her neck but she said she was fine, and whenni brought her to go snorkeling she can't swim then when I forgot we had a date and she sat in the park in her car for four hours until 10pm until I showed up.

[Asker]

So I guess my obliviousness added to it, she never once got mad at me or said anything harsh out of anger she simply quietly walked away that day after I said that and drove home then texted me she got home safe. She still smiles and waves at me when she sees me but hugs she steps back and says she's not comfortable until I really went for one and she kicked me and yelled at me to stop. Guess I just wanted her for myself even tho I'm talking to other girls, I got mad when she started talking to other people.

[madhatters4]

yeah it sounds like you two really shouldn't be together. it also sounds to me like you don't actually care that much about her because you aren't especially considerate when it comes to her.

just let her go.

[lightbulb27]

Hard to say. she may not want a repeat given she got similar treatment.

Sounds like a mess, I could sort it out probably but is it worth it. Get a therapist to unravel it...

If you aren't in a good mental place and she's messed up, time to work on self and solve the underlying issues.

the other possibility is she's pmsing... and will come back.

[Asker]

Tired hugging her she kneed me in the balls and yelled that she told me she was done. She's not pmsing. She probably is messed up a little bit. But I was just upset when I said that, I don't get why she wants to end things. I kinda do miss her presence napping and listening to her cook and cleaning until she can't reach somewhere cause she is short and scurries in to call me for help.

[lightbulb27]

you like to be needed and care giving. But the ability to deal with the emotional problems is the rub.
a girlfriend knees you in the nuts? That's severe.
Both go to a therapist to start. not that they will solve it, but you both have to figure yourselves out, regardless. might as well take the opportunity.

[Asker]

She's not my girlfriend

[DubiousIntentions]

Try slowing down, check your spelling and punctuation. Your writing was hard to follow.

🤔🥱😴

[Asker]

I got into this argument with this girl I've been seeing, she went on a date with another guy basically saying, I don't want anything serious so we should stop casually sleeping together cause she wants more, I said she was for the streets she picked up her jacket and left without a word and texted me when she got home. She's been distancing herself. She said what I said really hurt her feelings and we shouldn't continue this anymore, I was angry and hurt when I said that and she explained she's no longer mad she just doesn't want to continue like this. I said her ex has said worse things to her and she wants to cut me off. She works in the same field her ex does journalism so they run into each other from time to time. She apologised if she hurt my feelings for going out with someone else but added she expressed her desire for something more serious but I keep saying I'm not in a good mental state rn and it's been a year. I apologised she forgave me and agreed to let it go but she still doesn't want to continue our relationship as is and we should go our separate ways to find what we both want with someone who can give us that. I'm not harsh or anything to her that was the first time I blew up at her, she didn't look mad she just got her jacket and left and texted me as usual but now she's distancing herself and barely making eye contact with a faint smile.

[DextroShade]

She is utterly broken, find someone else.

[Asker]

Probably