Guys, After ignoring me for 3 years. Now he’s talking he asks me intimate topics. Im uncomfortable but I want him to be interested in marriage?

[Maria123456]

We were in medical college together. I liked him. He knew. But he said his family won't agree due to religious differences. So we weren’t in a relationship. Now we both have done USMLE. And he’s talking to me like very frankly. And 1 week into talking he’s talking about sexual stuff. I had a very good reputation in college and he knew. I never dated. I told him im uncomfortable. And he said okay. I don't know if he’s going to talk about it again or not. I just dont want to push him. I love him. I want to marry him but can't indulge in this before wedding. What should i do? But i dont want to hook up. I want him to be attached and attracted to marry me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah that's a tough situation. On the one hand, you really like this guy and want to marry him. But the way he's pressuring you into talking about sexual stuff before marriage is not cool at all.

Your feelings are totally valid - you worked hard on your reputation and don't want to compromise your values. This dude should respect that if he really cares about you.

My advice would be to have an honest talk with him. Lay it out clearly that while you have feelings, intimacy has to wait till marriage per your beliefs. If he brushes that off again, then he may not be ready for the commitment you want.

You deserve to be with someone who respects your boundaries 100%. Don't settle or do anything you'll regret just to hook a guy. There are decent dudes out there who will like you for you, not just your body.

Say you're open to getting to know him better as long as he can respect your limits. If not, you may need to protect your heart and walk away for now. You got your whole life ahead - no point forcing something that doesn't feel right deep down. Stay true to yourself - that's what really matters here.

[SotiCoto]

Medical College.
Talking frankly about sexual topics.
Uncomfortable.
Religious differences.
Can't indulge before wedding.

This doesn't really add up. There is a definite dividing line in there across which things shouldn't cross. See, someone being religious connects with being uncomfortable about sexual topics... that bit is internally consistent. HOWEVER, "medical college" and being uncomfortable about sexual topics is a harder sell. It suggests being fully educated in anatomical matters. Or did you sit through every class about reproduction and genital anatomy with your face buried in your hands trying to pretend it wasn't happening?

If you were this much of a prude all along, what the hell did you go to medical college for? Conservative religious people should definitely stay out of that sort of field... else we end up with doctors refusing to give abortions and all sorts of other madness.

[Summeroflove]

People who ignore someone just aren’t worth the time. Now some people think someone is laboring them over five minutes not responding. But three days is a long time.

You need to tell him he’s making you uncomfortable. Tell him what your wanting. I’m thinking it’s just not meant to be.

[RasmusAiken]

I believe every guy would wish to know what he can expect in a marriage relationship. Openly disclose to him that you consider him husband material. But also disclose your boundaries regarding sex before marriage. If he's been made clear on your boundaries perhaps you will then feel OK with discussions regarding sex.

[RavVid]

So is this him wanting sex when you say talking very frankly?

I think you have to be honest about not wanting to have sex before marriage and your feelings for him. You are offering purity that most girls just aren't. Are handjobs and blowjobs off the table? Logically that could be a compromise position.

Clearly you need to parley this into a relationship to get it into a marriage. Are you going out?

[Saiesh30]

Look for the opportune moment to tell him clear that you won't get physical with anyone unless the person gets married. That should give him the message if he's looking to be physical with you. And if he retracts, then it's better you give up on him.

[couchweed92]

so are you saying that once you hookup with someone they will no longer be attached and attracted to you? quite the opposite, if you blow his mind with good sex, he will most definitely stay attached and attracted to you.
otherwise in your case i’m not sure it’s going to workout sense he’s messaging you about sex already after 1 week.



may i ask you what y’all’s religious differences are?

[BoopBoopBeep]

You have a crush on him. You don't love him. You've never even been on a date. You love your idealized version of him, which admittedly you don't even know how accurate that is, since you didn't date in med school.

[serious]

Well, you seem to be clear in your thought process so make it clear to him. Have a talk with him on this one.

[Staximus]

His family won't agree? Is he a little kid that has no balls? People can may who they want, it's not their family's choice

[RedInnocent68]

You ain’t getting married if you can’t talk to him about the things he’s interested in.

[AMS700CX4u2]

Stick to your guns